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Xbox One

The Xbox One in action

The Xbox One (More commonly refered to as the Xbone) is Microsoft's new way of bringing American families together. You can watch Football, you can watch Soap Operas, you can watch reality TV shows! Oh, there's also the games, but why the hell would you want that when you can watch TV?

What it doesEdit

It's basically a set top box that plays games. What, you want more information? Fine then you greedy bitch child! So you plug it into your TV and from the Xbox One you can do all the things that your TV remote can (such as watching TV, or changing to HDMI1, etc.) with the addition of games but who cares about that? It also ruins the point of a smart TV, nice one Micro$oft...

The system also has voice commands, such as "Xbox, on", "Xbox, change to channel 10", "Xbox, cook my dinner", "Xbox, kill the hoes by the street" and commonly screamed out on the Mic during online play to turn everyone's console off, "Xbox off".

This years old piece of technology coupled with 720p makes the system innovative.

Controllers Edit

Locke

Your typical fancy shmanzy controller

There are a variety of xbox one controllers, although, well, there are none cheaper than 70$ USD!

Kinect 2.PedoEdit

When you plug in the Kinect 2.0, Microsoft and the NSA sees what you do so the best thing to do with the Xbox One is point the Kinect at your TV so it can watch you play the PS4.

ConclusionEdit

Ever wanted to watch Football, Jersey Shore, talk on Skype, browse the internet and play a game at the same time? Of course not, but with the Xbox One you can! If you are a member of an American family then buy this system, or you can not be a fatass and buy another system.

Controllers Edit

Blue controller

A blue controller. (why is it blue)

Weird controller

A Tron-looking controller

White controller

A white controller. Rather racist, hmm?

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