OriginsEditThe Xbox was created on Octoberr 28, 1955 when Bill Gates was born because he was implanted with a "Smartass Chip" in his brain, so he knew how to make it as a child. It was released on Febuary 15, 1956 when Bill Gates was about 4 months old. People couldn't get it to work because back in the 50's technology was about as advanced as a special ed kid's brain, which isn't all that advanced. So people hated it until the 80's when it actually worked. People played Mario games on it, and "Pong". Then in 2001 Bungie Studios released a game for it known as "Hula Hoop" where people killed aliens that Hula Hooped in those outfits that whores shake their bootays in Hawaii, so you could imagine how disgusting it was. It was the best shit ever and it prompted a sequel which was even better and fucking pwnzored all games. Oh and I forgot, it launched Halo's Xbox Live.
Halo 2 and Xbox Live
When Halo 2 was born, it was when Xbox Live existed for about 2 years. Before the release of Hula Hoop 2 people thought "Halo? and XBOX LIVE? God does exist!!!" and they were right, because Halo 2 on live was the shit. But on November 22, 2005 (has anyone noticed that all this xbox shit happened in November?) the Halo 2 creatures migrated from their natural habitat to a new habitat known as the Xbox 360.
On November 22, 2005 the Xbox gave birth to the Rectangle Box 360. All the gamers migrated from their natural habitat to the 360 while the OG version sat there and died. It was even better for live and all that on Halo 2. But the OG Xbox did survive, until April 15, 2012.
Something REALLY st00pid that
Microsoft Micropenis did to it.Edit
On April 15th, 2012, micropenis stabbed the OG Xbox with a knife, but only the Xbox Live part of it died. So it basically put an end to Hula Hoop 2. Now many are dissappointed, because Bill Gates did this, people will now start a legion of people known as "Kill Gates" and will mercilessly pwn him. Then t-bag him because it's just so fun to t-bag.
When an Xbox called Alan almost took over the world.Edit
One day, in
America Alanland, a stupid perverted 8 year old kid was playing Lego Batman and those other crappy games that only kids with an IQ under 10 play. And his Xbox had enough. He swore that he would have his head his eyes and his fingaz if he didn't bring him to the white house. He wanted to an all 3 plus games and lower Halo to 12. The kid saw a copy of lego star wars 600796034273595078 dropped the xbox. The kid cried wildly and then nobody believed his stupid story but everybody thought his was a waste so he made him and Alan into asshole soup. The end.
Xbox's don't have names you dipshit... Right?