- Galilean, Galilean, Galilean, is teh pw3n
- — Freddy Mercury on the Spartan Laser
- IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
- — XBL noob charging his laser
- IMMA STILL CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
- — Still charging his laser several minutes later
- IMMA FIRERIN MAH LAZER !
- — XBL noob finally firing da lazar
- Sh00p da w00p!
- — XBL n00b firing his laser
- In Soviet Russia, Splazer fierz U!!
- — Yakov Smirnoff on the Splazer
- HEHEHE, look I brought a lazer into the theater, lets piss people off by pointin it at the screen!!!
- — A marine after completeing a tour of duty without knowin what the hell the lazers purpose really was...
- IMMA POINTIN' MAH CHARGED LAZER AT... *dead*
- — a dumbass noob
- IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
- — n00b charging his lazer, repeats phrase minutes later
- I can use it for exposition!!!
- — a politician...
- OMG WTF BBQ ITZ GOTZ NO MOAR AMOZ INNIT!
- — a n00b just realizing several hours later that the Splazer he was charging up had no ammo in it. Chances are the n00b wasted it on another n00b.
The Spartan Laser, more commonly known as the Really Heavy Weapon/Anti-Vehicle Model 666 Mega/BFG is one of the best, pwning UNSC weapons.
Although the laser is very powerful, destroying any person or vehicle in your path, most players avoid it due to its EXTREMELY LONG charging sequence, by which time, the flag has been captured (three times), the bomb armed(three times), and the noobs pwn3d you and raped your sister (three times). You wouldn't need an egg timer, you would need an egg calender. That's right, I went there.
The Spartan Laser works by sucking the gruntiness out of the air around it and concentrating it on your target. It takes a long time and a lot of power for the battery to take in the gruntiness and convert it to a laser beam, which is why it takes for ever to charge and can only be fired a few times. The laser also gets very hot for a few seconds, so if your quick you can roast marshmellows after firing it. Master Chief cooked many meals in the field with his laser.
It is believed that the laser is, infact, a lesser reincarnation of GOD'S-OWN-ANTI-SON-OF-A-BITCH-MACHINE, but this is unconfirmed. Sort'a. It is also believed that it is the little brother of the Jesus Gun. it may also be related to sentinel testicles, but simply strawberry instead of orange flavour
It is also believed that if you charge the weapon and run into someone it will blow up both of you, as you may have guessed this is completely pointless unless you are a noob. It is also a little known fact that it can make Swiss cheese. As in, it will make anything into Swiss Cheese.
A little known fact, Grunts designed this weapon, The Humans lied!