FANDOM


Cquote1In Soviet Russia, vehicle ride YOU! Giggity, giggity...Cquote2
Marine.

Vehicles are thing you ride on when you can't get sex or when you are just plain bored. In addition to the sex thing, the make sounds when you ride on them, it sounds like "Vroom Vroom!", so I guess that could be substitutes for "Pleasure Sounds" such as" Uh, Uh!", "Ohhhh!", "Oh yeah!", "OH BABY!" and "SHAZAM!"

Covenant Vehicles

  • Ghosts are one passenger reconnaissance and are for badasses only. They are equipt with 1337 plasma guns that are perfect for pwning n00bs. If someone who is not badass gets on, they blow up and they turn into a ghost. It was first made by Space Ghost.
  • Banshees are the 343 Guilty Spark of the vehicle world. It floats, acts like a unforgiving bitch and its hard to get rid of.
  • Wraiths are the cheap and crappy offspring of a ghost and tank one night stand. It is slow and almost unusable.


  • Spectres are small troop transport vehicles that appear to serve a purpose similar to that of the human Warthog. Like the Ghost and Banshee, it hovers and has a boost capacity. They were not seen in Halo 3 because of rising gas prices and Brutes are homophobic and hate purple and pink.
  • Shadows are the Covenant's main mode of moving large numbers of soldiers, weapons and drugs.
  • Scarabs are big Crabs that want to kill Humans after hearing what they do to its offspring.
  • Brute Choppers are a new type of Brute vehicle found in Halo 3. It has two peashooters and massive spiked blades. Thus, it is the motorcycle of the Halo Universe and driven by bisexual Brutes who like wearing leather. It is usually used to till land on brute farms, so those broots must really like worms.

Brute Prowlers are a family friendly verson of the Chopper come fully louded with a single plasma turret and can seat a driver, gunner and two passengers. It has 7 XL cup holders and HDDVD players (newer models have HDD DDVVVDD HDDBVD players) on the back of every seat, for when Tartar Sauce gets bored.

  • Anti-Air Wraiths are the same as a normal wraiths, the Covenant are just trying to get you to spend more money. and it ran by AA batteries. Thankfully is not drivable, imagine the pain you would be in when the n00bs get it...


Human Vehicles

  • Warthogs are badass cars with a turret on top, that like to flip over a lot.
  • Troop Transport Warthogs are the mini van of the warthhog more cup holders then people and a dvd play so use don't haft to here some one bitching about being bored. And only marines can ride in them because spartans and dumb elites are too fat.
  • Civilian Warthog (simply referred to as the "Hog" in advertisement) is the civilian version of a United Nations Space Command vehicle. The three-ton civilian edition of the M12 Warthog is available in a wide range of colors, trim, and equipment specifications. Compared to the military version, this is a luxurious automobile, with trans-system GPS, omni-directional networked surround sound, complete user-specific voice control and a highly efficient long range power cell. As with every other iteration of the Hog, each wheel has an independent drive-by-wire electric motor, with power generated by a forward-housed low-profile hydrogen I/C plant. The hydrogen fuel is burned at very high temperature with a synthetic carbon/silicon catalyst to achieve better fuel consumption. which explains why cars explode so easily in the campain.
  • Mongoose is the fastest, weakest, thing you can think of, and has an annoying sqweeky horn that many n00bs spam till it brakes.

The Longsword fighter would be the best vehicle in the game, if Bungie would actually let us fly it!

The Pelican is another aircraft Bungie won't let us fly, but totally die randomly from gay things like Banshees throughout the halo universe, and for some reason, able to be taken down by a single plasma grenade, even though it can take 15 BILLION rockets to the pilot's face.

The Scorpion tank AKA the noob-mobile, with big-ass treads and also has spots for lazy marines to sit but like the trans hog spartans and aliens are too fat and would weigh it down and cause one hell of an insurance problem. Nationwide is not on your side with this one.

Vehicles
UNSC
Midget Warthog | Master Chief's Pimped out Car | The Big Ugly Piglet | Car with a Boomstick | Gauss Warthog's Lost Brother | Lazy People's Dream Car | Coal Sucker Sheila | Are we there yet? | Wannabee Helicopter | Birdy | Long Sword
Covenant
Witchcraft | Honorable, Immobile Vehicle (HIV) | A Haunting | GET TO DA CHOPPA! | Wall Climber | Crappy Spectre Replacement | Covenant Mustang | The simple vehicle you can't drive | Oversized Grape | Wraith's Evil Twin Brother | Don't Know Where You're Going Vehicle | UFO | Phantom's Father

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.