United Nations Space Command

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We, the people of the UNSC... wait... we the people of what?

— A drunk UNSC Chairman in 2163

On Soviet Earth, Government vote on YOU!

— Random Russian Marine on the UNSC

I'm fed up with these motherfucking Marines on this motherfucking ring!

— Samuel L. Jackson, aka Badass Johnson

The United Nations Space Command or UNSC is the military, scientific and exploratory arm of the United Nations, Colonial Administration Authority, and the United Earth Government where every sissy (except those who're not Mexican, Canadian, American or British) can join in and become a Marine without any training.

[edit] History

The UNSC was formed by the UN in the 22nd century, when the USA was bribed by the UN to sponsor its armed forces against Communists and Fascists. Who would have thought Hitler and Lenin would come back from the dead and start killing people on the Jovian Moons and Mars? The name was originally going to be Unworthy Notoriously Slutty Cowards but one member spoke up at the last minute and said... "No". The UN Secretary General, despite being a notorious coward, sent millions upon millions of UN troops to their dooms in the far reaches of the Solar System while he rested his fat and lazy ass in his cheap armchair watching as the UN fought the war and giggling his days around. When the Master Chief and Chuck Norris arrived, the leader attempted to stand but drowned in his own turds.(Like the pun?).The war was later named The Interstupid War between Badass Dictatorships and Cowardly UN Shmucks.