Cquote1I regret making this.Cquote2
— Prophet of Regret
Cquote1In Soviet Russia, Plasma Launches YOU!Cquote2
— A Soviet noob
Cquote1Oh. My. GOD!Cquote2
— A soon-to-be victim of the Plasma Launcher

The Plasma Launcher is a new weapon released by the twisted minds at Bungie Studios. Formerly banished along with The Beast into another dimension, it recently materialized out of nowhere and blew up a quarter of France. Good riddance.

Death Impersonated


The Plasma Launcher in duper Graphics.


Plasma lawn chair

The first design of the Plasma Lawn Chair, was later improved.

The Plasma Launcher is a weapon designed by a lunatic restrained in a basement under Bungie Studios. It's made from the tears of children, powered by Gruntiness and uses Plasma grenades as ammunition. Yes, you heard me right, plasma grenades, crazy huh?


When you press the fire button, the Launcher starts to charge, probably because it sucks out all the Gruntiness in the area before it fires 4 heat-seeking plasma grenades. These grenades continues to track the target even if they receive a huge wank whack from a Gravy Hammer. In short, if you encounter a Plasma Launcher and you're not holding it, you are going to die. Basically it kicks ass.

Story of the Plasma LauncherEdit

One day, some Covenant engineers were sitting around trying to think of a better way to blow shit up. One of them got the bright idea to make a bigass shoulder-mounted device capable of chucking plasma grenades at targets. One of his buddies, after smoking way too much of the Prophets' secret stash, came up with the idea to make it shoot not one, but FOUR plasma grenades. A third engineer, who was just as stoned as the second one, said "Hey, why don't we make it so it can track stuff? How fucking cool would that be, am I right?!"

And so the Plasma Launcher was born, fuck yeah.

Melee Weapons: Kitchen Knife | Japanese Butter Knife | Taser Stick

Handguns: Comfortable Pistol | Another Comfortable Pistol | WTF no scope? | M6C/Suck em' | God's Sidearm | Safety Mode On | Trusty Sidearm | Trusty Sidearm 2: Gradius | Assassination Pistol | Carbine Pistol | Silenced Pistol | Orbital Airstrike

Automatic & Semi-Automatic Weapons: Bullet Hose | Silent Bullet Spitter | Insult to Rifles | Revised Insult to Rifles | Chronologically Confusing insult to rifles | The insult to rifles that actually kicks ass | Bee-Arr | Bullet Spammer | Another insult to rifles | Large Bullet Hose

Other: HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Campergun | Noob Obliterator | Crude Thumper rip-off | Supersonic Rail Exploder | Exploding Cake Detonator | Kill The Hydra

Grenades: Damn, no stickies | Bang Grenade | Ear Bleeder | "I embrace y'all with napalm..."

Melee Weapons: Energy Shank | Hot Poker | Death Stick | Energy Shiv | Gravy Hammer | Monkey Fist | Monkey Shank

Other: Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Overheater | Noobler | Larger Noobler | Long range Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Vacuum Quadlazer | Jelly Launcher | Semtex Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box

Heavy Weapons: Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Death impersonated | Godly Plasma Rifle | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Hax Gun | Smaller Hax Gun | Derp Gun | Magic Grenade Thrower

The Quadlazer | Zapper | Tracer Rifle | Yellow Light Spammer | Campergun's Retarded Brother | Triforce Gun | Promethean Glory | Forcefield | Bee Grenade

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.