- In Soviet Russia, Carbines hold YOU
- — Soviet Jackal
- Where do I put my eye?! I can't see the foxtrot's scope!
- — Some Marine, saying what we are all thinking.
- My eye! My f***ing eye!
- — Another Marine, addressing one of the Carbine's design flaws
The carbine, otherwise known as 'God's Sidearm: Part Deux: In Space!', essentially shoots 1337 radioactive rounds which makes you dead by shooting 1337 radioactive rounds. The person who shoots it dies as soon he presses the non-existent trigger due to extreme exposure to a radio channel which sucks horribly on activation. It is powered by a superelectrical force similar to what the Hula-Hoops explode with, but only in a small, pwnage-sized amount.
The carbine is frequently used as a suicide weapon, by putting your eye to the 'scope' and ejecting the cartridge. The covenant, seeing their design flaws, made a new variant of the carbine that ejects homing cartridges, however, due to an incident where the cartridge exploded, it has not been produced.
Its wielders have developed a recreational activity called "carbine huffing" in which they eject the cartridge and inhale the ensuing green vapour, which they huff in an attempt to contract AIDS immunity. So far a change in immunity has not been seen in the jackasses that use it, other than that one contracted aids and blew up. The others then comitted suicide. No reason for this has yet been found.
The only species to use this obviously semi-retarded shitfuck sandwich of a weapon is Turkeys. When they do this, they become a new species, known as a Carbine Cocksucker. Nobody knows why they don't just give up, due to their poor accuracy, but they persist.
The Carbine is as accurate as a cumshot, rather powerful rounds (headshot capable), has a reasonable rate of fire, and can carry quite a few (reasonably sized) magazines, making it the all-around one-size-fits-all weapon. However, it is Purple, Pink, and Green, so noone uses it, lest they risk teabagage.
- Get Shotgun/Carbine
- Get whichever of the two above you didn't get