- Warning: Do not hit people with this. It has a chance of causing death or chopping stuff in half.
- — Death Stick warning label
- It's like a key... when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death.
- — Michael J. Caboose, Blue Army Soldier...ish
- A sharp increase in youth's hitting 'Energy Swords' against each other because it causes them to feel 'buzzed' and 'disoriented' was noted this year.
- — President Obama of the UNSC
- Oooooooooooooooooooh shiny... I wanna touch...
- — A stupid Brute.
- This is a true weapon for my...OH SHIT!!!
- — Megatron, learning how to use deathstick.
- In Soviet Russia, Death Stick kills YOU!!
- — The Guide to Everything for Russian Marines
The super shank, more commonly known as the Death Stick, Key of Death, Giant Knife, Scary Spoon, or the noob destroyer 9000is a practical joke played on the Elites by the Prophets to make them sexually aroused in order to get their balls chopped off by the Gay Space Gorillas (brutes). Its blade is made of pure Gruntiness, so any human who uses it dies instantly.
It is still unknown why the Scary Spoons have limited ammunition, being a spoon and all... odd.
While noobs haven't yet noticed, they keep whining why they always die using the sweeper combo, (Shotgun and Spoon). With their futile attempts to kill someone five miles away, when it is obvious that shotgun beats sniper.
Theses crappy spoons are really light but the Elites are to bad ass to dual wield them! Or they thought "Wait...these things kill stuff in one hit, right? Who needs to duel wield them?"
It should also be noted that the Energy Sword is solar powered, making it extremely dangerous to Obama's supporters.
It has recently been proven that energy sword works just like a standard kitchen knife. The sword will soon be
available in standard cutlery sets.
It was the weapon used in the duel with
Bilbo Baggins Dildo T. Baggins and The King.
The only real use for this weapon is using it on your mother but she will eventually die and the sword is useless.
Coming soon, the energy fork to those who Bungie considers not a noob on XBL. If you don't have it yet, then you are just a n00b... i have one... i just don't want to show it to you... because its really cool. So get Xbox live, make a popular machinima, and convince Bungie to give you an Energy Fork. Maybe there will be an
plasma cum energy spork! It has a special blue color to it and when you touch it you get asplode.
How it Works Edit
Here is a list of things these can be used as.
- death stick
- key(to doors and death)
- toe-nail clippers(mainly by brutes)
- butter and steak knives
- surgical blade
- source of grunty hope(when not used against you)
- warm hug