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Tartarus Violating 343 Guilty Spark

Tartarus is the Pedobrute!

Halopedia
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Tartarus.
Cquote1It's Hammer time!Cquote2
— Tartarus on it being hammer time.


Lord Tartarian Johnson Harryford the Thirty-Second (So named due to the lack of your average Brute Mother's lack of cranial capacity and originality) more commonly know as "Tartarsauce", was a gay Boot Minor Chieftain of the Boots in Halo 2, in which he was a major antagonist.

Physical DescriptionEdit

Tartarsauce was easily recognisable by his Enormous Hammer, which he would carry around with him at all times. No, seriously, he was obsessed with it. He would take it to bed with him; when it was lost, he would refuse to go to sleep until it was found; named it "Rukt", frequently attempted to give it haircuts, and took it along with him on both of the dates he went on throughout his life.

He was also very slightly more intelligent than a normal Brute, but not by much. Like, you wouldn't notice it really. Not unless you watched him very carefully, y'know. Anyways, here's his classified biography.

BiographyEdit

Tartarsauce came into existence when a Grunt was attempting to create a marginally less retarded-than-average Brute, using SCIENCE! This experiment succeeded completely, and the Grunt gave the child to a Brute female to name and raise. Throughout his life, Tartarus used his slightly-above average intelligence to deceive his superiors and rise through the ranks (Using such timeless tricks as "Hey, look, there's a rabbit at the bottom of that cliff! Go walk over to it so I can push you off!"), eventually becoming the High Warlord.

He was still in possession of that critical weakness among Brutes, though, which is subservience, meaning he ended up as lapdog for the Prophet of Truth. He also tried to kill Johnson, but this resulted in a med-ranking Grunt beating him up quite badly, claiming that he and the Sergeant were "Tight".

Later, he tried to activate the Hoola hoops, but failed utterly and was shot in the face by SJ and stabbed in the face by Arby . This resulted in his death.

TriviaEdit

  • Tartar Sauce once played Saints Row 2 and got angry that he didn't have an Energy Shield.
  • Tartarsauce is actually left handed, isn't that interesting?
  • Had a big-ass hammer capable of killing a small child with only 1 arm (but it still can't kill a small child with 2)
  • A horde of grunts attempted to bite his fluffy fur in an attempt to see if it candy floss.
  • Spent 1 day with bleach to look different from his brown monkey gorilla brethren.
Characters
UNSC

Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
Other
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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