This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by so it will fit the screen, fool!
The Bad-Arse Program (Also known as Multiple Chuck Norrises) are an elite (not Elite) warrior society, formed by the Cult of MC during the war with the Covenant They typically use swords and shields, enjoy screaming intimidatingly at their enemies, insist on fighting Persians despite the fact that they prefer the term "Iranian," and frequently get killed. There favrote thing to do is make sweet love to grunts and they get hipnotised by cortanas big boobs
Spartans claim to be to be descended from Hercules, but are actually descended from some dude who decided to build a house near where Sparta would be. Eventually, this guy would ask people to move closer to his house because he got lonely and because all the campfires warded off the dark, which he was afraid of, and eventually became an agoraphobe. Upon his death his house was sealed and bricked up, and a temple built on top of it. Spartans claim he shall join the Master Chief at the End of the Universe, but the fact that he's already disintegrated into dust makes this highly unlikely.
Next, Spartans decided they'd be warriors, and pwned some n00bs in nearby Athens. Athens retaliated by burning their "city" (a dozen huts in a swamp) to the "ground" (a pond), but the Spartans decided they didn't care and built a new home. From there, they attempted to conquer the world, starting with Persia.
Some guy called Leonidas led the whole city against the Persian empire, but got pwned because he wouldnt stop shrieking "THIS. IS. SPARTAAAA!!!" when it wasn't, and insisted on "DINING IN HELL!!!" nobody survived to pass the tale along, and they eventually passed into obscuring. Nobody even remembers Leonidas' name now, except for you, and that shall soon be remedied...
The old Spartans became extinct. But Nobody Cared.
The Next Generation Edit
Almost a thousand years later, the UNSC decided to copy the Spartans, and physically and mentally abused young children into the way of Badass to become the ultimate extreme warrior. Realising their mistake, they sent the Spartans against impossible odds, such as Chuck norris, and were very irate when they returned unscathed, still boasting about how many "Persians" they'd killed.
Eventually, the UNSC gave the Covenant the coordinates of Reach just so they'd kill the Spartans. Unfortunately, the Master Chief escaped, and shall soon begin his jihad against the rest of humanity and all sentient life in the galaxy, beginning with the Testicle Chins.
Known Spartans Edit
- SgtMjr Avery Johnson (?)
- Master Cheif Petty Officer of the Navy Chuck Norris
- Iron Man
- Jorge (the huge bastard in Reach)
- Soren (got f**ked up by the augmentation process, like many others)
- Kitty kat
- Noble Sex
- Your Mother
Lots of orphans who died after completing their mission... which is at least more than marines do.
- In Soviet Russia, MIA is never missing, they just Spartan .
- Spartans are never MIA they just missing out on carters mom.