Spartan Laser

From Gruntipedia

This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Spartan Laser.

Galilean, Galilean, Galilean, is teh pwn

— Freddy Mercury on the Spartan Laser

IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!

— XBL n00b charging his laser

IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!

— Still charging his laser several minutes later

IMMA FIRERIN MAH LAZER !

— XBL noob finally firing da lazar

Sh00p da w00p!

— XBL n00b firing his laser

Hey whats this little lazer on me? its funny hehe........Oh.......SH...*dead*

— some moron

HEHEHE, look I brought a lazer into the theater, lets piss people off by pointin it at the screen!!!

— A marine after completeing a tour of duty without knowin what the hell the lazers purpose really was...

IMMA POINTIN' MAH CHARGED LAZER AT... *dead*

— a dumbass noob

The Spartan Laser, more commonly known as the Really Heavy Weapon/Anti-Vehicle Model 666 Mega/Big laser shooty thing/N00B weapon/Super Uber HyperDeath^TM Galileo/Figaro Nonlinear Rifle is one of the worst UNSC weapons.

Although the laser is very powerful, destroying any person or vehicle in your path, most players avoid it due to its 60 minute charging sequence, by which time, the flag has been captured, the bomb armed and the noobs pwned and your ass's kicked.

Contrary to popular belief, the weapon does not shoot a laser, but the super concentrated form of a sound file of Leonidus screaming 'THIS IS SPARTA', thus its name, which immediately caused death to all in its path and causes all Persians within 800 miles to fall down into holes.

It is believed that the laser is, infact, a lesser reincarnation of GOD'S-OWN-ANTI-SON-OF-A-BITCH-MACHINE, but this is unconfirmed. Sort'a.

it is also believed that if you charge the weapon and run into someone it will blow up both of you, as you may have guessed this is completely pointless unless you are a noob. It is also a little known fact that it was made to cut holes in swiss cheese.When it is charged it can cut a hudge bastered with a big gun go flying through a wall and a spartan can withstand five blasts from a spartan laser on sixth shot when he is hit a mazzive hole appears through his head. Very disgusting.