Gaming
 

Spartan Laser

From Gruntipedia

This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Spartan Laser.
Galilean, Galilean, Galilean, is teh pw3n
— Freddy Mercury on the Spartan Laser
IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
— XBL n00b charging his laser
IMMA STILL CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
— Still charging his laser several minutes later
IMMA FIRERIN MAH LAZER !
— XBL noob finally firing da lazar
Sh00p da w00p!
— XBL n00b firing his laser
Hey whats this little lazer on me? its funny hehe........Oh.......FU...*dead*
— some gh3y dum a$$
In Soviet Russia, Splazer fierz U!!
— Yakov Smirnoff on the Splazer
HEHEHE, look I brought a lazer into the theater, lets piss people off by pointin it at the screen!!!
— A marine after completeing a tour of duty without knowin what the hell the lazers purpose really was...
IMMA POINTIN' MAH CHARGED LAZER AT... *dead*
— a dumbass n00b
IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!
— noob charging his lazer, repeats phrase minutes later
I can use it for exposition!!!
— a politician...
OMG WTF BBQ ITZ GOTZ NO MOAR AMOZ INNIT!
— a n00b just realizing several hours later that the Splazer he was charging up had no ammo in it. Chances are the n00b wasted it on another n00b.

The Spartan Laser, more commonly known as the Really Heavy Weapon/Anti-Vehicle Model 666 Mega/Big laser shooty thing/Tony Soprano gun/Chuck Norris/N00B weapon/Super Uber HyperDeathTM Galileo/Figaro Nonlinear Rifle/Anti-Chist weapon of doom /shoop da woop gun is one of the best, pwning UNSC weapons.

Although the laser is very powerful, destroying any person or vehicle in your path, most players avoid it due to its EXTREMELY LONG charging sequence, by which time, the flag has been captured (three times), the bomb armed(three times), and the noobs pwn3d you and raped your sister (three times). You wouldn't need an egg timer, you would need an egg calender. That's right, i went there.

Contrary to popular belief, the weapon does not shoot a laser, but the super concentrated form of a sound file of Leonidus screaming 'THIS IS SPARTA', thus its name, which immediately caused death to all in its path and causes all Persians within 800 miles to fall down into holes.

It is believed that the laser is, infact, a lesser reincarnation of GOD'S-OWN-ANTI-SON-OF-A-BITCH-MACHINE, but this is unconfirmed. Sort'a.

it is also believed that if you charge the weapon and run into someone it will blow up both of you, as you may have guessed this is completely pointless unless you are a noob. It is also a little known fact that it can make Swiss cheese. As in, it will make anything into Swiss Cheese.

Weapons
UNSC
God's Sidearm | WTF no scope? | Safety Mode On | Insult to rifles | New insult to rifles | Bee-Arr | Bullet Hose | Campergun | HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Bullet Spammer | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Damn, no stickies
Covenant
Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Jelly Launcher | Honorable, Immobile Vehicle Turret (HIV) | Hax Gun | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Death Stick | Gravity Spammer | Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box
Forerunner
The Quadlazer