Your mom.

Cquote1Can I have recon?Cquote2
— A new spartan getting their armor
Leonidas Chuck Norris Manticore MAST4R CH33F LOLOLOLLOL Master Chief
— your mom

Spartans were created, not born. Once they are created, they are programmed to kill, kill, kill and then clean up the mess. They are the SKYNET of the UNSC.

Spartans are subjected gamma ray which makes them super-duper and their armor turns green, meaning they are the Hulk.
300 main!!!!

Also because of the gamma rays it kills their sperms and penis reproduction organs meaning they can't have sex. If the Spartan knew that, they'll probably go emo and paint their armor black.

Also top-secret is that they are injected with the awesome power of the gruntiness making them so kick ass that Chuck Norris probably can't beat them (wouldn't bet on it). Little known fact: they are descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never surrender. The battlefield is the greatest glory they can achieve in their lives. Also, every night, they DINE IN HELL!!! when slain in battle against the Persian grunts.

Master Chief is one of these ultra-super mega fighting units. he is the only one left as the gruntiness was to much for the other Spartans and they die within years. That or you mum sat on them.

Spartan IEdit

The beginning of all badassness. Sarge Avery Johnson is one of them. That is why Johnson is such badassness, and most Spartan Is are train to use one liners too, to great effect. Most Spartan Is are injected with mega-steroids and drink V's like it was water.

Rumored to be Spartan Is were:

The most famous freakin Spartan II, John 117

  • MR. T
  • Chuck Norris
  • Arnold
  • Arthur
  • Daniel
  • AJ
  • Bob
  • Jak & Jill
  • Sparty
  • Bernie Sanders

Spartan IIEdit

The next batch of F***** killing machines. They are better then the Spartan I. They get the Mjolnir armor, making them cool looking bastards.
Wiki wide

A Spartan II after a exhausting day at work.

Known Spartan IIsEdit

  • Chuck 001
  • 006
  • Jerome
  • Jorge
  • Samuel
  • John 117
  • Douglas

Spartan IIIEdit

Still kicked arse, but not nearly as much. they had to be cheap, expendable super-soldiers. Kind of contradictory, isn't it? the could turn invisible, which partly compensate their crappy armor. a faction as strong and fast as an S2 but still better than a normal human, by far. like the 2s they were 'recruited' as children, but this time voluntary. they were orphans and so, fought with a vengeance. they were deployed in companies of 300. each time they were all but wiped clean out of existence, but not before achieving great results. They didn't get shielding so they got mad and had a strike. Finally Office of Nerdy Idiots (ONI) gave them shields to troll with.

Kind of a let-down, but they're better than idiots or other noobs. Spartan III's are constantly crying over MC's superior skills but happily for Master Chief, the LAZY noble team died a miserable death to a lucky headshot by a chicken, sacrificing himself like the retard himself and other idiotic things like that. It turned out that MC ACTULLY GAVE THE ORDER OF SEPARATIST ELITES MURDERING NOBLE SIX WITH ENERGY FORKS!!!!!!!! MC then blew up a covenant tank and n00bs drive this.

Spartan IVEdit

Spartan whores are the least of all Spartans. They are actually from an alternate universe where having no character is kewl and spewing cum from your mouth is character development. They all think they are Master Chief's literal children when in reality they are the Great Value knock-offs from Wal*Mart that are literally $0.43 cheaper. The most well know Spartan II+II is Professor Jamey Lockerson, an ass ass in the UNSC Fireteam Assiris. He is a rock. Not that he's tough as a rock, but talking to him will get you as much fulfillment as talking to a rock will, if not less. Another known Spartacus IV is Whore Palmer. Nobody likes her. Even her ass isn't redeeming. She's a cunt.

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