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Cquote1BOW CHICKA WORT WORTCquote2
— Zealot version of Lavernius Tucker
Cquote1Ohhh you stink!Cquote2
— Some Stupid Marine upon sniffing a Zealot
Cquote1My life for something that isn't AiurCquote2
— No zealot ever
Zealot halo 4

Zealots in Halo 4.. WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE INSECTS?!!!!


Zealots, aka Protass are creatures from Aiur who used to be cleaners but the toilets they cleaned sprayed Grunt pee which stains for life. Achieving this feat gives them the rank of Zealot, and unlocks an Achievement, because their Achievement grants them a hula hoop maker,Sgt Johnson plush toy, teddy bear, permission to abuse grunts, Dark Templar shit, and 1 gamer score they think they can suddenly start talking trash on xbox live.Once the arbiter heard of this he slaughtered them,called their moms whores ,kicked their dads in the balls, shot their laptops after they started poppin shit on Facebook, and punted their baby brother off a cliff.This led to shortage of zealots in Halo 2 and turned the remainder into inbred hill-elites.One such side effect of this is they start screaming "MY WIFE FOR HIRE" and running at Master Chief with their toy swords upon seeing him .They were not featured in Halo 3 because Starcraft 2 embarassed them so much they decided to all jump in a black hole and create a paradox (Starcraft 2 came out AFTER halo 3).

Be warned: Never give a Zealot a Gravy Hammer, for it will go into a spasm of pure power, run at a random teddy bear, swing the gravy hammer and crush The little 3 year old playing with it instead.

Famous Zealots Edit

No famous Zealots were ever recorded as all they said was "Blargh" before being shotgunned by a Marine, Master Chief, a Grunt(lol),an angry German kid or that little space turkey who likes crying in the corner.

The only exception was Praetor Fenix, and Givem Ee Pancake's grandpa is a Protoss so I guess that counts.

What They are Known For Edit

Zealots are known for "wort wort wort", "arrrrrrrrg" "MY LIFE FOR IRON" "POWER OVERWHELMING", eating everything, eating anything, disguising their dicks as plasma blades and swinging them around. They seem to be the most powerful and aggressive enemy ever known in halo history, mainly because of the smell of their armor (grunt piss) which instantly makes their gruntiness level to the max. The only thing they lack is intelligence. Zealots are supreme commanders, generals, and all those high ranked crap and they fight in the front lines, which usually result them getting sniped, blown up, shotguned, or assassinated. They are usually seen with their huge glowy plasma penis, but rarely seen with any other weapons like standard plasma rifle. They will automatically get pissed when they see you, charge up to you while screaming "BANZAI" like the Japs from cock off doody 5. Like the Brutes, they seem to lack anger management controls ( I mean seriously! Calm down man, I am just a badass in a huge green suite and not a leprechaun and I'm not going to steal your lucky charms).

In Halo Wars, they are only known for being treated like a dude from Dragon Ball and getting their shit fucked up by Justin Bieber.


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