Sangheili-San 'Shyuum War

The Prophets vs. The Elites

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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on 'Shyuum War Sangheili-San 'Shyuum War.

The Sangheili-San 'Shyuum War was a war between two powerful and bastardish alien races, the Xenomorphs and Testicle Chins which in the end resulted in the formation of This Bullshit. It took place a long ass time ago.

How It StartedEdit

Yeah, so here's the idea mmkay? One day, a long, long, long, long, long, long, time ago (seriously this was longer than my dick ago, and my dick is pretty long for the average willy). The Prophet of Truth drove to the Sangheili homeworld, Sangheilios, in his Pimp Mobile and started stealing Sangheilios's unique form of marijuana, teh Elite loouurrrd (who's name was Im 'Teh 'Kingee) got pissed and started a war against the testy chins. In response to this, teh Testy Chins bombed the shit out of their planet until it looked like Carl Sagan's head and smelled like your dad's sweaty loincloth. Im 'Teh 'Kingee would not let his planet turn into a big pile of mexican glass candy. So this started the war.

Battle of Mt. GijigjtauEdit

On October 7th, 942 B.C.E., the 'leets launched a surprise attack on Mt. Gijigjtau which is a colony placed on a mountain in the Prophet homeworld. They arrived in 100 stolen Pimp Mobiles and pwned the shit out of everyone in it with no effort at all. They claimed that colony for themselves and celebrated by shooting der cum (lulz) in the dead prophet's mouths.

Battle of Mt. Gijigjtau 2 (The Reclaiming)Edit

When the old trusty mayan calendar (not trusty at all in fact) struck June 18, 943 B.C.E., the Prophets reclaimed Mt. Gijigjtau by having the most epic battle of all time against the elites (Kanye West even said it was the most epic of all time). It was so epic that it lasted until 850 B.C.E. (2 years before the war ended). The testy chins reclaimed Mt. Gijigjtau and glassed 99% Sangheilios with their plasmarays. The Elites were at a major disadvantage but did not give up.


The Final BattleEdit

The final battle took place on the 1% of Sangheilios that wasn't glassed. Im 'Teh 'Kingee roared to his elite troopers "Wort Wort Wort!" "Wort Wort Wort Wor-Wor-Wor-WORT!" "Wort Wort Wort WORT!!" "WORT...WORT...WORTAAAHHH!!!". Translation (it's hard to translate it but I just got these few lines): "We have 300 Elites, vs. a thousand persian (prophet) nations!" "Our Energy Arrows will block out the sun!" "We will stand and fight!" "THIS...IS...WORTAAAHHH!!!!!!". After the speach, then approached the Testicle Chins with their "chins" dangling around as they charged. The Xenomorphs readied their Energy Swords. They then had a lame ass battle, it was boring, muy boring... But 10 minutes after that waste of time a Testy Chin assass(lul)inated Im 'Teh Kingee. The Elites had no choice then but to roll wit da covies, and the war ended. k thx 4 liztening baaii!!

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