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- AAAGHHH... OH holy hell in a crap barrel Ugh
- — Ranged Form blastin you
- In Soviet Russia Tanker forms you!
- — Pure Form Russian reversal
- Hey, what about a Flood enemy that shoots crap-spikes at you and acts like a turtle when you attack it?
- — Bungie, developing the concept for a Ranged Form
- We like to sit WAY UP IN DA CEILINGS AND SIDES and pump shart at you.
- — Pure Forms
Pure Forms are mutant bastards who pinch people like it was their job. They are the result of a major pwnage back in the hula hoop games. There are three kinds of these guys, much to our chagrin; the big shit Tanks are mutant results of the rancor that love to scoop up poop. They eat the shit and spit it out as popcorn. They used to rule the galaxy, but they were blown apart by the Gruntiness, so the survivors ran and hid on Hula Hoop 04. They met the Gravemind there and joined him and his AIDS army to pwn the n00bs. But 2 years later, the purels were joined by the traitor prophet Adolf Hitler who led them. But Hitler betrayed them later and began to kill millions of purels with "THE SPUNK." It seemed the purels were doomed until God appeared and pwnd Hitler. God gave the tankers the power of Zull so they could transform! The Tankers had a really cool time turning into tampons and celebrities and Dr. Phil until they found they could turn into the Ubers.
5 Minute Useless Battle Edit
A year later the AIDS had turned the covie cruiser Juicy Turkey into a piece of shit and headed to Earth so the Ubers could stop the testicle chins from doing the hula hoops. They arrived late cause Gravemind took so much time ordering at Orbit King. The covies left Africa already in a big anus in the sky. Because of their bad grade in drivers ed the purels crashed into the city of Voi. Fearing a terrorist attack, the pastor queef led a troop of boobs to the crash site and were pwnd by the Ubers and AIDS. With this embarassment the muster beef and Arbiturd counterattacked with the 27 panzer division. The two of them led the tanks on two white horses and kicked down the AIDS ship's door. The anus inside were pissed. It died 3 days later. Arbiturd stayed behind to be a knave leaving the MC to sweep the ship for the computewhore. The Ubers failed this battle when a big-ass explosion from some unnamed place went off in Voi that blew up Kenya. It all lasted 5 minutes and was recorded in a book for people wondering why a whole country was now gone.
After the Hula Hoop Edit
When the halo fired at the flying retard(aka hula hoop maker) the Ubers found nothing was left. The other AIDS died and the Ubers were punished by the sparkplugs(Sentinels). Only 100 Ubers were sentenced to life working in the flying tulip's ass mines, the rest executed by watching 2 girls, 1 cup over and over again untill they had a boner/heart attack/erectile disfunction/crippling phisical wounds/spontaneous combustion/nervous brake down by the sight of Cortana and Rosie O'donald getting breast implants between Halo 2 and Halo 3. As for the 100 purels in the mines, they escaped. The covie carrier Deja Vu nu penis licker smashed into the mines and a rogue Uber cock came out. He was the same dude who crashed the Juicy Turkey into Voi. He looked at his ship and yelled," My wife cut my brake fluid! She wants to kill me then rape my dead carcause". Instead he was killed by a passing sparkplug. <dickhead. The purels escaped the mines on the carrier and began roaming the galaxy on a hunt for the Prophet of Haters. They needed money and there was a 50cent reward for Hater's head for the crime of mass genocide. They have yet to find him and is house on a planet covered in 100% hookers who like some 8==D. Untill then the purels live on, eating fast food in the carrier's caf and hoping to replace their partners with a female with blue waffles for once. But the po pos were on them and got lost so we don't need to worry about that crap. As if any one would have been worrying about those retards in the first fucking place.
A New Uber Leader Edit
In the Uber year 2554B.Y.(Before Yamamoto) the Ubers were having one tough ass time keeping the authorities away and Haters was proving to be very elusive. Pissiness was great in the Uber ranks on the carrier. A lack of hot pockets and females was takin its toll. It was decided that a new leader was needed in order to get that $50cent reward. In came ADMYAMAMOTO straight from the lowest part of the Uber forums. He proved to be a great religious leader, speaking of a great quest the purels must go on to pwn n00bs and catapult the cast of Seinfeld into the sun in order to achieve an orgy, I mean an... Indian realization and to make money. The idea was liked. YAMAMOTO declared the beginning of Plan Un-Q(<guess what it stands for). The Ubers made a stop at planet Tachili and picked up some hookers. The gayness could now end. Earth was hit next and the Ubers ruined the presidential address and catapulted Seinfeld into the sun. They made a pit stop in Mobile. But YAMAMOTO had some bad relations with the south and a bunch of angry rednecks caused an early leave. "You bastards!" That was a famous line from YAMAMOTO as he flipped off the rednecks with an extra large middle finger. Still seeking work, The Beast was hired by YAMAMOTO to do him a favor. Two days later Mobile was lined with giant kitty tracks and 50 rednecks were dead. The Ubers left Earth and continued the hunt for Haters. YAMAMOTO eventually learned that Haters had destroyed his homeworld with the swag. In a very violent rage YAMAMOTO destroyed planet Herpes.
The Ultimate Battle of Gruntiness Edit
The most kick-ass moment in the history of after Halo stuff was in 2562. A new Swagatector had been installed by BGE into the Deja Vu that could detect the Prophet of Haters awesome swag. YAMAMOTO was busy gettin it on with some random chick when some other Uber came in, saying that Haters' swag was detected. YAMAMOTO killed the Uber and put his darth vader helmet on with a badass cape. Haters had been takin refuge at planet Terablehidin Plac with a protection force of sparkplugs and Grunts with active mega gruntiness. Deja Vu was hangin out above the planet and had been for a while. The Swagatector took so damn long to pick up the swag. All the time Haters saw the ship overhead always wonderin, when will that mother fu<ker get out my parkin spot! YAMAMOTO came on da loudspeaker. "Nobody move bwahahaha. I come with my home dogs to invade this sh17hole. By the way where can I land my Uber force?" Haters yelled back," land them in that there crater." Phantoms full of Ubers touched down but it was a frekin trap. The Phantoms were sucked into a portable anus in the sky. YAMAMOTO became so angry that he killed another Uber. "You wanna dance n00b", he yelled. YAMAMOTO landed by Haters with a thousand Ubers and The Beast. Noone knew how there were Grunts with Haters cause they all died in the War on Pants. They were Grunty droids of badassness. There was so many robots it looked like a terminator movie. The battle was so damned huge that the swag, uberness, and gruntiness could be seen by those jerks on earth. Haters did the matrix while fightin YAMAMOTO with a banhammer while YAMAMOTO went at it with a death spoon. After a few hours of fightin eachother physically and on Halo ODST live, hundreds of Ubers and all the n00bs were dead. Both Haters and YAMAMOTO were pissed and hurt. The shit was so bloody graphic and awesome that the whole universe stopped turnin and the valhalla map on the Tulip was blown up by a missfired swag lazar. Haters then initiated code black. A massive planet annihilator bloweruper thing was armed and imploded the planet. The Ubers barely escaped. In the very retarded end noone won. Haters died with a fucked up universe in his wake and the Ubers got no money for killin Haters cause some knaves took the credit. In all this is one messed up endin to the after Halo stuff time and shows that the future sucks ballz.
Famous Ubers Edit
- Icant Getenuff (only virgin Uber)
- Miley Cirus
- ADMYAMAMOTO the 1st
- Zull the 2nd
- Master Shake
- 50 Cent
- Yo Momma
- George Bush
- Chris Hardwick
- Every hater in Halo 2
- Chris Brown
- Homer Simpson
- Ray William Johnson
- Micky Rooney
- Hannah Montana
- Every Jedi from Star Wars (especially Luke Skywalker)
- Peter Griffin
- Eric Cartman
- Sarah Palin
- Steven Colbert
- Lois Griffin (that hot Uber... I think)
- Justin Beiber is also a queer fucker
- The Jonas Brothers these guy also have sex with penisis
- Mick Jagger
- That Vaas Dude from Far Cry 3