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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on of Restraint Prophet of Restraint.
Prophet of Truth
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Also known as the Prophet of Pimps, this prophet ruled with the Prophet of Tolerance and the Prophet of Obligation between somewhere from early 1745 to 2523.Like all prophets his name was a lie because he could not restrain his sexual urges and ended up impregnating six people two of which were men, when they we're replaced by the Prophet of Gayness, Prophet who got his face beat up, and Prophet of Lies. Though his name is somewhat true, because many of the people he impregnated he restrained before raping them (the two men and one woman).

Picture4

The Prophet of Pimps

1745-1859Edit

The Age of No Restriction. He lived that long with the help of Gruntiness. Anyways, he was the offspring of him and a Prophet prostitute. He was named the Prophet of Restraint, but he really had no restraint and for the rest of his first 114 years he threw sex parties.

1859-1860Edit

The Age of Depression. He was all emo after he got dumped by his girlfriend, and started to looking for a reason to still live. He found a Pop-up Ad in the internet that said the Covenant was looking for a High Prophet. He went and filled the application.

1860-1868Edit

The Age Of Highness. He was now a Prophet ruling the Covenant with the Prophet of Obligation. They fell in love in the second week. He brought in weed for himself and her(Obligation) to become the "high"est prophets. They got high everyday for 8 years. No one noticed except Commander Yapyap III, who noticed when the prophets' assault plan was to send weed as a peace treaty for the Covenant rebels.

1868-1871Edit

The Age of Restriction. He was now in restriction by the Covenant, and he couldn't have weed. He followed this rule, but after a month or two, he started smuggling weed and getting high on it with the Prophet of Obligation. He got busted in 1871 and was exiled from the Covenant

1871-2175Edit

The Age of Downfall. It was downfall from here. He started to spend his days like he did in his first 114 years of life. He starting to miss the Prophet of Obligation. In 1949, the Prophet of Tolerance joined the Covenant and was starting to like Obligation. Restraint got mad and hired assassins to kill the Hater. All assassination attempts were unsuccessful and the hater got pissed off and hired assassins to kill Restraint. He then hired Commander Yapyap III's great grandson and his grunts to protect him.

2175-2386Edit

The Age of Rebellion. He started a whole freaking rebellion to kill hater and stop his reign of hating. In 2386, Commander Yapyap III's great grandson's great great grandson and an army of grunts marched to the Covenant capital and killed hater. Obligation was found dead (Grunts didn't know which side of the throne Obligation was when they put those Plasma C4 charges).

2386-2432Edit

Age of Reconstruction. Restraint decided to rebuild the Covenant and become the High Prophet. He didn't get high anymore because it makes him remember of Ebbing. In 2429, while rebuilding the Covenant economy and army, he found a Prophet prostitute, and invited her to his bedroom. After several nights, he made her pregnant. He convinced poor Commander Yapyap III's great great great great great great great great great grandson to raise the child as his own.

2432-2523Edit

Age of Epicness. The Prophet of Restraint participated in the most epic battle in the history of the Universe against Satan and his army of zombies with Rocket Lawn Chairs, but I won't bore you with the details.

2523Edit

The Covenant thought he was a crappy prophet and executed him with the Energy Guillotine. He was then replaced by Truth, Mercy, and Regret.

What he does nowEdit

Picture3

His Pimpmobile.

He survived the execution with the help of Gruntiness and is now circulating the world looking for hoes.

Characters
UNSC

Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
Other
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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