Regret joke

regret at what prophets do best... shit

For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Prophet of Regret.
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!
Cquote1I regret being a prophet.Cquote2
— Regret regretting
Cquote1Dear Humanity; We regret being alien fuckers; we regret coming to Disneyland; And we most definitely regret that the MC just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!Cquote2
— translation of Regret begging for his miserable life.
Cquote1I regret regretting.Cquote2
— Regret on Regret

The Prophet of Reggie was one of the three leaders of the Covenant before he was pwned and punched by Almighty Grunts. In short, he led a short, but faggy life.

He likes carrying pimp pistolz, and believes someday that a giant plasma pistol will light the Sacred Rings. When it does, Regret shall stand in front of it like the n00b he is, and be sent along the Great Journey. He likes MC Hammer and tried to sing like him, but all that came out was gibberish, so Cortana had to translate it. It sucked in English too... The Master Chief substituted a plasma pistol for a rocket launcher, and all he did was die.

He also regrets being taken home in a body bag (thanks to the Master Chief).

Things that The Prophet of Regret regretsEdit

  1. Being alien bastards.
  2. Coming to earth.
  3. That the corps just blew up their raggedy ass fleet. (HOO-AH)
  4. Buying so many shares in major industries during an economic high, then watching their worth plummet.
  5. Not getting a girlfriend instead of sitting around watching TV (we all regret that)
  6. Eating that third plate of hot wings.
    1. Not using Alka Seltzer afterwards.
  7. Not teleporting to the outside of the building while Master Chief was owning him.
  8. Allowing the Master Chief to hop on his chair (Wow, think of all the jokes that can will be made...)
  9. Not getting out of his chair while the Master Chief kicked his ass.
  10. Choosing The Prophet of Ignorance as a Prophet.
  11. Hating Elites.(they pretended not to be any good so he could die... THIS IS TRUE)
  12. Being a pale whining bitch in Age of Halogy
  13. Regretting

Raping RegretEdit

When fighting Regret it is important to bring steak sause. Dead prophet tastes excellent with almost any dish, and it is important not to waste such a delicasy. Regret has some majorly big ass guns on the side of his giant dildo which amazingly can GO THROUGH HIS FUCKING BLACK MAN HANDS!!!!!1!! Just jump on his chair while he's not looking, and punch his knobby little head. Be careful though, the Elites guarding him are really his sex slaves, and will get really, REALLY pissed off if you do.


Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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