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Prophet of Mercy

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Halopedia
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Prophet of Mercy.
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!
Mercy

Mercy shitting his pants like a boss


The Prophet of Mercy was an old prophet who was literally 220 years old (Even the liars at Halopedia state this).

Early LifeEdit

Mercy had a problematic upbringing, with a mother spending all her money on booze and a father addicted to kitten-huffing. He was eventually placed in psycological ward when he almost died of laughter because of a dead Grunt. Fighting his mental issues and balancing on the brink of lunacy, he was released and elevated to the rank of High Prophet and was celebrated in a big party. His mental retardation made him believe he had gotten a job as a cook on Burger King and proceeded to take every attendants order.

Later careerEdit

He proved himself mentally challenged when he thought Installation 05 would cleanse the galaxy of infidels with a holy wind*. After ranting endlessly, he was eventually killed by AIDS. Looks like those AIDS didn't have mercy. Master Chief asked him where the hell the Covenant was going. Mercy proved that he was mentally retarded one last time and said that they were going to planet Noob. Then Master Chief shot him in the face, screaming, "Take that, ugly!"

When ProFag was 360 noscoped by master chef, the phaggt expolded with cum and Mountain Dew with doritos DNA.


*It should be noted that the words Installation 05 and Chuck Norris sounds very much alike in the Covenant language.

Characters
UNSC

Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
Other
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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