| This article is under the protection of the GCI|
This article is shiny, therefore all Grunts like it.
This article is rewarded for being one of the few outstandingly humorous and well-formatted articles in Gruntipedia.
The Prophet of Haters is well known amongst the Covenant, but not so much Humans or Flood (they can't really think anyways). His true label is The Prophet of Hate, but most call him the Prophet of Haters because he hates just about everything from Apples, to Books, to Chips, to Dip, to Elbows, to Fire, to Gongs, to Hats and so on.
He was most famous though for his battle with the Master Chief himself; but that's later on. This...is his story.
Early Life Edit
The Prophet of Haters' true name is actually Bill Guy. He was raised by a Grunt and a variation of random hookers on the planet: 'Herpes'. There he had a multitude of dreams, such as: becoming a surgeon, a model, a rapper, and ruler of the universe. Haters attended the university of Coca Cola. There he learned many things of world-destroying technology, such as how to torture people with a mixture of electrical chairs, Potatoes and the Twilight movies, and how to remotely install OS X into people's computers.
At college, Haters was never picked on because the other kids knew that their SWAG level was inferior to his. Haters beat up nerds, killed them, and then he would crap all over their faces when they were dead as a sign of his swag/superiority. One day Haters was caught deficating all over some dead nerd's face by a student. He was told on and almost kicked out of the university, however both the snitch and the principle both mysteriously disappeared hours later.
He graduated and moved into his own apartment in the ghetto after being kicked out of the university.
His transformation to the Biggest Hater Alive Edit
One day, Bill was getting a slushie at Target. Then a bunch of women approached him, accusing him of "hatin" on their baby's daddy. Bill then recited this line:
"Jesus, are you like those whores from the Maury show?"
This enraged the women, for they were those whores from the Maury show. So they called their boyfriends over and they shot Bill in the gut.
He was rushed to the hospital. They gave him surgery but it was not successful. He was legally dead for about twelve seconds. Then he sprung back to life and broke one of the surgeons' necks.
So he was put in an insane asylum.
There he spent a week thinking of how to escape. Two days later he ate his way through the stone walls.
He ran all the way back to his apartment. He got a gun and headed for Target.
There he found the women and their boyfriends who shot him shopping at Walmart with a bunch of children. He shot one of the women in the back of the head and told the others to get down. Then he preached to them about how he was "The Prophet of Haters." Then one of the children tried to run, but the Prophet of Haters shot him in one of his butt cheeks, yelling, "ASS-SHOT!" Two minutes later he killed the five women, three boyfriends, and sixteen children by snapping their necks. This earned him a spot in the Book of World Records for "the killing of the most people in about three minutes."
Hater had once decided to make his own cigarette factory, it was to be called "CIGGS FO MAI NIGGS" Industry until he realized he had an overwhelming hate of cigarettes.
Hater's Apartment - Mini Chapter Edit
From the moment he walked in, Haters instantly hated the apartment. The fridge had no Ben & Jerry's ice cream, there was couch pizza, the bathroom was an attic with a blue wallpaper and worst of all... It smelt like Halo Wars. Haters immediately picked up his cellphone and dialed his cousin, the Prophet of Narcotics, who was working at the local PD. He brought weed and cocaine among other drugs. Haters then proceeded to dial Meat & Taters' HOES AND CHIPS, and the local community rapists and drug dealers. Soon, Haters had a full on party going. Meat and Taters, Lord Shithead, Arbiter] and even Kwarsh attended. Sadly, the party ended in disaster: The local potheads sniffed out the weed. A fierce battle ensued, with Haters being arrested after possession of drugs, assault and more.
Haters broke out of jail two hours later and jacked a car, proceeding to drive to the local KFC. He stuck up the chicken joint and left, continuing on his quest to murder Ronald McDonald.
How he Became a Prophet Edit
The Prophet of Haters was in charge of the court system in the Covenant. Those who he found guilty would either be killed, forced to listen to a choir of Jackals sing until their minds imploded, or forced to watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup over and over again until they had visions of Cortana getting breast implants between Halo 2 and Halo 3, then dying because of an oversized boner exploding.
He is famous for his capturing of Meat and Taters; two douchebags who eventually became heroes.
The Prophet of Haters was deemed Criminally Insane by most Jackals because of the fact that the Prophet of Hate ate a 200 pound Brute after killing him with a Plasma Rifle (because of radiation, that is a bad idea).
Involvement with the War on Humanity Edit
The Prophet of Haters was the main progressor of the war on Humans. Any paper that had the words "destroy people" on it was immediately signed and passed.
He hated Humans, he hated everything.
As the Drones approached the ship, he waited in his holy chamber, looking out the window at them. Then, he found a warning on his
Dragon Fruit Fuk'n'tosh Remotely Programmed Windows Vista Computer(Fuk'n'toshes suck. Problem, Fanboys?) . It was from the Prophet of Truth. It said: HOLEY $HI7! MASTER CHIEF HAS ENTERED THE PROPHET'S CHAMBERS! GET OUT OF THERE! ALSO, HORDES OF AIDS HAVE ENTERED, TIME TO LEAVE!
This was the moment that the Prophet of Haters had been waiting for his whole life: a chance to kill the Master Chief.
"So John," he said, "let this be our ultimate battle." The prophet pulled out a bowl of ramen noodles and ate them in one bite.
Haters pulled out a Plasma Pistol and shot his Brute guard. He took his Gravity Hammer and battled the Master Chief for about five minutes. The Prophet of Haters had studied the art of fighting his whole life, but he was still not equally matched to the Master Chief. Haters and Chief engaged in a multitude of martial arts, the Prophet going for jujitsu while Chief entered his Wushu battle stance. Haters was still able to keep the fight going for five WHOLE minutes, but eventually the Master Chief got bored, and when the AIDS showed up he ditched Haters and went to find some other aliens to kill. MC swore revenge. For calling him his real name...........
Haters knew what he had to do. So, he threw a grenade at them and jumped out the window.
The Prophet of Haters gave the Prophet of Truth a Spiker and said, "SHOOT THAT WHORE!" So Truth pwned Miranda, activated the Hula Hoops, and was killed by the Arbiturd. Just as Haters was about to pwn the "Arbiturd," Gravemind came and broke it up.
Battle with Kwarsh and Yapyap's Elite Squad Edit
One day while Haters was looking for a job, an Elite assassination squad led by Kwarsh and Yapyap came out of nowhere and began to attack him.
Haters used his lightning reflexes to jump in the air and whip out a pair of Uzis. He began sprayin' da lead at the Elites.. Haters don't be likin' dem niggaz. Then he landed and started ballin on everybody. He shoved his foot so far up their asses that he could touch their brains with his pinky toe. Kwarsh dived out of nowhere and, covered by sniper fire from Yapyap, engaged in battle with Haters.
Then Haters attempted to escape in the SWAGcopter. As he flew away, he flipped off the Elites. Little did he know, he had taken his hands off the controls. The SWAGcopter made a nose dive and crashed into a school bus, killing many disabled children.
Haters walked away from the crash safely and continued searching for a job, while Kwarsh and Yapyap got the flip out of the ghetto in their Phantom.
Employment at White Castle Edit
Haters soon found himself working at White Castle until he saw a wigger come in. The cunt asked for 50 burgers. "WHAT!? I'm not going to give you SHIT! I'm just going to shit on your dead body when I'm done killing you!" With that, he tackled the man and beat him until he drowned in his own blood due to internal bleeding; and yes, he crapped on his dead body.
The Prophet of Haters was sent to the insane asylum...again. He snuck out his room and infiltrated the asylum, which actually turned out to be a hospital for retarded midgets with Parkinson's disease. Soon he found what he was looking for...
A cheeseburger. What? He was hungry!
40 hours later, Haters was sitting on a throne of cheeseburgers with fine ladies all around. Bill Guy eventually got bored, so he gave all the midgets chicken and proceeded to watch them toss the wings at the women.
Haters walked over to Miley Cyrus' room. Outside were two guards. They drew their salt rifles and told Haters to get down. He flipped them off and kicked them through the door. Inside was Miley Cyrus. He shot the thing with a salt rifle and teabagged her dead body.
Once Haters was done clipping his dicknails, he threw the dead guards at the wall and leapt out, stealing a convertible and driving away.
The Prophet flew off into the sky to meet his local drug dealer.
The Fate of the Prophet of Haters Edit
When Haters broke out, he stole a Phantom and cruised around the universe randomly blowing up civilizations.
Haters destroyed thousands of worlds with his photon lazors of SWAG. He was an unstoppable force and everyone feared his awesome power because it is awesome.
He is still at large. YAY! :)
Stuff he did! Edit
- Invented "death by song," in which a prisoner would listen to a choir of Jackals sing until his brain imploded.
- He set the record for "most people killed in about 3 minutes
- Flipped America the bird on the Dr. Phil show.
- Jumped up and down on Oprah's couch
- Pwn a random wigger for asking for Recon too much.
- Broke out of the Insane Asylum (twice).
- Reached a temperature under absolute zip.
- Had a hard-core battle with Master Chief.
- Covertly assassinate Bill Gates.
- Worked at White Castle.
- Assisted in the murder of Miranda Keyes.
- Created 1 Guy, 1 Cup.
- Shot a chicken with a bow-and-arrow in Riverwood...
and paid the price.
- Tea-bag a Grunt to death.
- Blamed 9/11 on Bin Laden.
- A shit-ton more...
Haters on the Big Screen Edit
The Prophet of Haters soon realised how awesome his story was and decided to go and have a movie made all about himself. So he met up with 30th Century Fox and they made the movie starring:
- The Prophet of Haters as himself.
- Chuck Norris as Master Chief.
- Angelina Jolie as Cortana.
- Dr. Phil as Gravemind and himself.
- Soulja Boy as Soulja Boy the Jackal.
- Samuel L. Jackson as Sgt. Johnson.
- Gary Coleman as Kwarsh
- Yapyap as himself.
- Wheatley as 343 Guilty Spark.
- Lord Shithead as himself.
- Prophet of Truth as himself.
- Arbiter as himself.
- Maury Povich as Lord Hood.
- Santa Claus and Epic Beard Man as Tartarus (EBM being the actual actor, Santa being the Stunt Double as there is a race/fight scene)
- Michael Winslow as that one elite that has half a jaw and orders all the others around
- Bapyap as himself.
It also required music, which they hired Metallica, My Chemical Romance, Eminem, Flo Rida, and a bunch of monks to do. It was directed by Stephen Spielberg and Michael Bay and produced by the Prophet of Haters.
The movie has hit 6749898238532697983467639846279 views by people, spartans, elites, GRUNTS!, brutes, hunters, prophets, and marines.
Runtime: since the time of the Human-Covenant war.
Rated: "OMFG!" Violence, badassness, massed offensive jokes, mild language, nudity, showing the red ring of death, torture, disturbing/hilarious images, science fiction violence, awkward situations, showing this person's face, making fun of Zach Efron's hair, multiple references to da thug life, guns, grenades, weapons of mass destruction, nukes, including Sonic the Hedgehog 2006, nuclear disasters, gettin' some, showing a bodybuilder, including Oprah Whinfrey, making fun of the Ellen Degeneres Show, making fun of other lesbian associated things, making fun of football players for getting drunk and doing stoopad things which end up killing their reputation, showing White Castle, audience participation and mo' 'orrible tings.
- SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!!!
- — A critic who lost his mind in the first five minutes of the movie
- You know what? This is the worst movie since "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" back in '64!
- — Most Gruntipedians, on Haters' movie
- You know what? This is the BEST movie since "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" back in '64!
- — All Halopedians, on Haters' movie
- What a cast...
- — A critic after seeing that Brittany Spears had a role.
- You know what, f*** this.
- — A critic leaving the room after he saw Angelina Jolie and Dr. Phill gettin' it on in the movie.
- I think I have brain cancer.
- — The only critic who actually sat and watched the whole movie.
- Gaaaaahh! Aaaaahh! Don't touch me, you freaks, I won't be like you, I'll die first!
- — AWOL Marine, after watching the movie
- HOL-E SH**! What the!?!?! Mother f*****! God it hurts!
- — Critic screaming as an Xenomorph Chestbuster bursted out of his chest after he watched the first half-hour of the movie.
A Sequel? Edit
Yes, indeed you heard it right. Bill Guy himself announced on January 17, 2011 that because of how many sales it got, there WILL be a Revenge of the Hater ll. Haters also announced that there will be the same exact cast as the first (except Megan Fox is Miranda), except there will be new Characters due to Halo: Reach Around's release (and due to new articles on Gruntipedia), and to make the movie more awesome, there will be MOAR music in it but it also will include the same artists hired for the first.
This movie is so offensive, the ESRB had to make a whole new rating, this rating was HFIJSMPOTPWMTWGIMSWTFRJO unforunately for the ESRB, they killed themselves after rating the film. It has already been banned in more than 50 countries and it has more than 43 reasons listed for it's given rating.
- Noble Six (portrayed by James Ramirez from Modern Warfare 2)
- Carter-A259 (portrayed by either George Clooney or Sgt. Foley from MW2, it is still being decided)
- Kat (portrayed by Michael Jackson's ghost in a Spartan Suit)
- Emile-A239 (portrayed by Barack Obama)
- Isna 'Nosolee as himself
- Jun-A266 (portrayed by Vin Diesel with an Arab accent)
- Jorge-052 (portrayed by Billy Mays' ghost in a Spartan Suit)
- Riley Freeman as himself
- The Meta as himself
- Thee Pi Lourrd (portrayed by a bunch of worms inside a bunch of cans)
- Ae Pi Dood (portrayed by a different bunch of worms inside a different bunch of cans)
- Kanye West as himself
- Ellen Anders (portrayed by Satan's Wife)
- This person as Catherine Elizabeth Halsey
- Osama Bin Laden as his ghost
- God as Himself
- Jesus as Himself
- Mohammed as Himself
- Miranda Keyes (now portrayed by Megan Fox)
- Lady Gaga as ITself
- A Random Brute as himself
- A Random Grunt as himself
- A Random Elite as himself
- A Random Jackal as himself
- A Random Engineer as himself
- A Random Skirmisher as himself
- A Random Drone (Portrayed by a random Butterfly wielding a Plasma Pistol)
- A Random Marine as himself
- Your mum (as herself)
- And thats it, now lets move on to the new music
New Music by:Edit
- Kanye West
- Taylor Swift (only to be interrupted by Kanye's song)
- Justin Bieber
- Da Crusadaz
- Soulja Boy the Jackal
- Asheru (for the opening of the movie which is completely ripped of from The Boondocks)
- Asking New Alexandria
- Mary J. Blige
- 50 Cent
- Linkin Park
The movie hits all theaters in the Universe on June 20, 2011, SEE IT!!!!!!! Oh and I forgot to mention it's in 3-D, so be prepared to cum in your pants from the awesomeness.
(NOTE: The movie is not actually in 3D, you just watch it with 3D glasses, without the 3D effects onscreen)
No Way, A Third One? :D Edit
Yes, indeed. A third Revenge of the Hater movie has been announced. Filled with more shit, profanity, drugs, violence, uncensored sex/rape, Grunts and SWAG than ever before, there will be a brand new installment in the RotH series. On 6/9/2015, cuming to trashcans near you, a Blu-Ray 3D movie: Revenge of the Hater lll.
- Haters - himself
- Kwarsh - Liam Neeson
- Master Chief - Chuck Norris
- Noble Six - James Ramirez from MW2.
- Carter-A259 - Sgt. Foley from MW2
- Swaggee' Badassee - himself
- Maddislimane - himself
- Fartee' Faec' - himself
- J'Suz Kusov - himself
- rest of the B.D.H as themselves
- Arbiter - Himself
- All the RvB characters as themselves
- Arby n' the Chief - Microsoft Mike and Microsoft Sam
- Lord Shithead - himself
- Thee Pi Lourrd - himself, raised from the Heretic Pit II for the movie's production.
- Dr. Phil as Gravemind and himself
- Menace Potato-himself (well what can he say? They offered him a lot of money!)
- The entire album Elitematic.
Famous Quotes Edit
- Baby, you can have whatever you like...
- — Prophet of Haters hitting on one of his hoes in the asylum turned pimp pad.
- WHAT!?!? I'm not going to give you $HI7! I'm just going to $hi7 on your dead body after killing you!
- — The Prophet of Haters talking to a customer at White Castle.
- I wonder what's happenin' on da gruntipedia...er...what the hell? TRUTH HAS A CAMERA IN MY BEDROOM!?!?!?!
- — Prophet of Haters reading an article on gruntipedia...
- THIS IS YO MAMA!
- — The Prophet in a "yo mama" duel.
- Fu<k you America!
- — The Prophet on Elite News Channel 7 during the Dr. Phil show.
- Gruntiness is made of...oh crap...I just ate...SON OF A BI7<H!
- — The Prophet of Haters after finding out what Gruntiness is made of.
- I HATE YOU! YOU FUCKING SUCK...
- — The Prophet of Haters getting mad because Truth stole his whopper.
Connection with Meat and Taters Edit
The Prophet of Haters appears to hate Meat and Taters but, in fact, he actually kind-of likes the two. He secretly admires their friendship and devotion. This also proves that the Prophet of Haters does have a heart, it's just a small one.
He once even fought The Beast to save them.
When he heard the news of how they died in the Flood hive, he was utterly destroyed on the inside. Eventually though, he was able to cope with it. He never forgot Meat and Taters though...
When he learned of thier resurrection, he threw a party that involved him saying yay, ending with him being thrown into the insane asylum...again, and everyone else who came being executed.
What People Have to Say About Him Edit
The following quotes were recoreded during a meeting in which Dr. Phil (Gravemind) asked them, "What do you think of the Prophet of Haters?"
- Haters? That guy is the biggest ass the galaxy has ever seen since chocolate rain, hell, he called us all douchebags and threatened to incinerate our plantets. That guy might have enough swag to deflect a splazer shot, but he's pretty messed up.
- — Master Chief.
- I think he's okay, he might be a little screwed up in the head but many of us can cope with it. Just like how we have to cope with people in wheel chairs slowing us down in the hallways at the nipple academy.
- — Random grunt.
- I still have nightmares about him...forcing me to watch...2 Girls, 1 Cup. OVER AND OVER. RIFFASMAFFABLAFFA!
- — Meat the brute.
- I'll agree, I think haters is the hugest ass to grace the universe. Still, I think he is a great leader, a symbol of power and swaggyishness stuff amongst the Covenant. It was cruel fate that he swayed from us...
- — Arbiturd.
- I think he's a frakin douche...
- — Taters.
- I agree with the short one.
- — That one guy with half a jaw.
- Me smash you human!
- — Brute Chieftan.
- Woart Woart Woart!
- — Some stupid Elite.
- YUR MUTHER!
- — That noob down the street.
- Can somone please say something usefull?
- — Some stuck up biatch...wait, nevermind, it's just Cortana.
- Shut up my little whore.
- — Master Chief.
- What were we even talking about anyway?
- — Soulja Boy the Jackal.
- I don't know; let's all go to White Castle.
- — That one guy with half a jaw.
- I wrote a rap about him: He a hater, he be hatin'. He hatin' on that grunt, hatin' on your mom. Hatin' on that Hunter, hatin' on that-OH SHI-
- — Soulja Boy the Jackal, shortly before dying from being so close to the source of all hate
Interesting Facts Edit
- He likes Burger King...a lot, maybe that's where he got his crown.
- He is surprisingly not racist, just hatin' on everybody.
- He is powered by ramen noodles.
- He is still alive today.
- He is the one who gave Truth a Spiker.
- He likes pwnin' emos.
- Bob Sparkle is his wingman when ever he goes out to the clubs.
- He was concieved in front of an audience of horrified Mimes.
- Has the ability to smell asses from a distance of up to fifteen kilometers.
- Owns a squad of highly efficient hamster assassins trained using Al-Quaieda terrorism techniques.
- He can sodomize the weak-willed using just his gaze.
- He is a fan of Jacke Chan.
- He hates the administrators ban hammers because they're so much better than his hammer.
- He watches SpongeBob SquarePants. 0_0
- His swag is so powerful that it can deflect a splazer shot. This is shown in a multiplayer match where some noob named Spaghetti&Noodles shot him with a spartan lazer; it was deflected off the prophet and hit another player. Strangely the smell of the lazer bouncing off haters smelled like a lot of AXE.
- His favorite food is tacos.
- When he gets really angry,
HE GETS POWERED BY VENOM!!!!!!!!!
- He uses Aqua Di Geo cologne.
- He can use all weapons except the rocket lawn chair, the famous ban hammer, and the Magnums (because it sucks MILF titties)
- The Prophet of Pissyness is his step-cousin.
- He was legally dead for about 3 quarters of a nanosecond, when Master Chief was ballin on brute bodyguards and all FUS RO DAH!!!!!!!! at Haters.
- His favorite word is "whore."
- Uses Gillete shaving cream
- He survived The Meta (How this happened is unknown)
- He hates bungie day becuase all the n00bs want recon armor.
- His favorite TV show is Star Trek: Voyager.
- His favorite comedian is this guy.
- Pawnee'noobsee was his body guard before he turned into a separatist.
Final Message Edit
On September 24, 2553, the Prophet of Haters broadcasted a message to the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Here it is:
"You are, all of you, douchebags. Just like Meat and Taters; but I am the riteous voice of the universe. I say, you will all die and meet Bill Gates in hell...you will be PWN'D by my ultra giga super awesome uber powerful hand!"
These were the last words heard from him. He is still at large and has blown up 20,000,000 planets since then.
- Bill Guy, 2552.
His Legacy Edit
The Prophet of Haters was known for his anger, power, and strength. The legend he leaves behind with us is that of the most powerful Prophet to live. A tyrant who refused to die to haters.