The Prophet Of Crack was the biggest stoner/gangsta/crime lord in the entire Covenant (He still doesn't compare to the Prophet of Eye Cancer in drugs though), being able to smoke, snort, or inject OVER 9000 tons of dope, smack, crack, cocaine, crack-cocaine, novicain, laughing gas, gruntiness, tiger's blood, and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in under 45 seconds. What Kes'i 'Xesosee is for sex, he is for drugs.
He is constantly chased around by pissed off Grunt drug dealers whom he never pays, at at this time has a debt of 3,333,333 Dollars.
He was also the designer of the scarab, and modeled it after a "bug" he saw on himself while he was high on hallucinogenic drugs.
First born on Planet Cannabis, the Prophet Of Crack was always a fucking lunatic. He first shot up at about 1 minute old, and was a nut for drugs from then on. He committed his first crime at 2, which included: Murder, arson, rape, stampeding cattle through the Vatican, Grand Theft Auto, hijacking, terrorism, vandalism, loitering, drug dealing, rape of cattle, cattle of rape, cow tipping, hate speech, genocide, attempted murder, and taking the last cookie from the cookie jar.
Later in life, the Covenant found Cannabis, and, because the inhabitants were all stoner hippie assholes who refused to fight for the Testicle Chins, the Elites
smoked glassed the whole planet, killing all the hippies from the fumes, and only leaving Crack alive, who was now stoned off his ass, and more violent than ever.
KKK CCC Covenant made him a prophet, and used his stoner/gangsta abilities to send humanity down the gutter with the power of TAINTED DRUGS GENOCIDE!
Stupid Stuff This Nutjob ThinksEdit
- High Charity is a giant blunt
- Elites are sexy
- Kelly-087 is not a furry
- Master Chief is a giant pot plant
- Gravemind is a stoner (Wait, isn't that correct?)
Crap he didEdit
- Burned down over 1,000 pawn shops, after stealing everything inside
- Starred in Blazing Saddles
- Tore out Lucy-B091's vocal cords after she and her posse blew up his giant meth lab
- Pissed on Lord Shithead
- Lit Fred-104's hair on fire after he refused to hand over his crack to the "police"
- Lit Kelly-087 on fire
- Mutilated Ravemind for some marijuana
- Stabbed Gravemind with a rusty steak knife
- Eating all the Pasta at a party before Otha' Letham could get any
- Kicked Prophet of Haters off his SWAG throne
- He named the nameless elite but is to stoned to remember