Prophet

From Gruntipedia

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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Prophet.

"Blah, blah, blah, Humans, you will die now."

— Prophets On Humans

"Blah, blah, blah, cult sueing monkeys... divine godness."

— Prophets On Great Journey

We want you to die, but we want you to help us before you do because you're one of the best soldiers we've got, and most of the other Elites aren't as devoted to their job as you. But no pay rise.

— Prophet of Truth

Prophets are the guys in the Covenant who think they're the best. While Prophets can talk for extended periods of time and think up boring speeches in seconds, they do not possess really any physical power whatsoever. They ride around on flying chairs with huge lasers on them, yet no drink holders. At one point, there were three Prophets who were "Hierarchs." Their names were Truth, Mercy, and Regret. They all were raving on about blowing themselves up until Regret was killed from provoking Master Chief, Mercy got infected with Aids, and Truth was stabbed with a butterknife. They command all covenant species to dip into the Butter couldron so sticky grenades dont stick to them they just slide off. They have also been known to send many fluffy monsters on missions to find the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Partly to find out about the Halos and also to have a laugh when the bags of fluff are killed.

[edit] Reproduction

The prophets never get lucky so I am not going to waste my time saying how one would-or could-ever get laid.

[edit] Famous Prophets

• Thruthiness
• Regretful
• Merciful
• Susan B. Anthony
• Mao Zedong
• Zac Efron
• Steven Hawking
• Beavis and Butthead