Prophet

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"Blah, blah, blah, Humans, you will die now."

— Prophets On Humans

"Blah, blah, blah, cult sueing monkeys... divine godness."

— Prophets On Great Journey

SHOOT DAT WHORE!

— The Prophet of Haters commanding Truth to kill Miranda

We want you to die, but we want you to help us before you do because you're one of the best soldiers we've got, and most of the other Elites aren't as devoted to their job as you. But no pay rise.

— Prophet of Truth

Prophets are the guys in the Covenant who think they're the best. While Prophets can talk for extended periods of time and think up boring speeches in seconds, they do not possess really any physical power whatsoever. They ride around on flying chairs with huge lasers on them, yet no drink holders. At one point, there were three Prophets who were "Hierarchs." Their names were Truth, Mercy, and Regret(which are funny names because I distinctly remember hearing about a Prophet of Oppisites.. They all were raving on about blowing themselves up until Regret was killed from provoking Master Chief, Mercy got infected with Aids, and Truth was killed when his flying chair malfunctioned, ending his life instantly in a large ball of flame. They command all covenant species to dip into the Butter cauldron so sticky grenades dont stick to them they just slide off. They have also been known to send many fluffy monsters on missions to find the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Partly to find out about the Halos and also to have a laugh when the bags of fluff are killed.

[edit] Reproduction

The prophets never get lucky so I am not going to waste my time saying how one would-or could-ever get laid.

[edit] Famous Prophets

• Thruthiness
• Regretful
• Merciful
• Hercyness
• Harry Potter
• Prophet of whatever
• Susan B. Anthony
• Mao Zedong
• Zac Efron
• Steven Hawking
• Christopher Walken
• Beavis and Butthead
• Mr. Mackey
• Gandhi(he never used his chair)
• Prophet of Haters(Daum! He was hatin' bad)!
• Confucius
• Dingy Harry (Harry Read)
• Bill Gates
• The godfather
• The sith lord from star wars, not the gay one
• Dick Cheny
• Yo Momma
• Prophet of Misinterpretation(Started Grunt Rebellion)
• Adolf Hitler(traitor that joined the Ubers, killed by God)
• prophet of EMOS!(He cuts himself when no one is looking)
• prophet of rancid turkey
• Stalin(did not get along with Hitler)
• Spongebob Squarepants
• Homer Simpson
• THE ROCK
• Jason Vorhees
• Rambo
• Chester Cheeto
• That one gay guy who directed Broke Back Mountain
• That dude that did that one thing that time
• George W. Bush (Both of them)
• Oprah
• Barabus
• Barbra Streisand
• That random not funny dude... Jerry Seinfeld
• Peter Griffin
• Allah
• the Colonel
• Leroy Brown
• Victor Vance
• Lance Vance
• Eric Cartman
• Tyler Perry
• a jackass
• Your Mother
• Carol Channing