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Cquote1Choose And Perish!Cquote2
— Paul Russel

Paul Russel is the representative of Satan (Staten?) on Earth, doomed to wander the land for eternity, spreading hatred and warmongery among the people of the world. He also plays a mean set of bagpipes, rumored to be a skill passed down from Scotistanian dictator Franklin O'Connor. Rumors of his exploits have been retold so often that they have become myth—Cain and Abel was originally Paul Russel and Abel; his hunting of the Great White Whale was immortalized in Moby Dick by Hermann Melvil, though in the novel the character based on him is killed—Russel is immortal; he reappeared in 1984 in New York, in the form of a giant marshmallow man, but he was defeated by a group of weird men with a catchy theme song; in 2552, he launched himself into space with the Bungie slingshot, defeated an alien horde, and sent himself back in time, selling the rights to his life story to his own company for millions. He has yet to see a penny of it.

While many believe that a secret Cabal controls the world, less well known is that Paul Russel controls the Cabal. He has an odd fascination with New Zealand, likely fueled by his insatiable desire for kiwifruit and isolation in the Pacific.

TitlesEdit

  • The Almight Paul
  • Baal'Zebub
  • Kitten Smiter
  • Puppy Kicker
  • Bunny Eater

LegendsEdit

  • He is said to be responsible for many of the signature architectural styles of the Halo universe, most notably Forerunner.
  • He hates being referred to as "the Forerunner guy"
  • He never eats lunch and wonders why people don't call him to go out anymore.
  • He is said to perform a mean bagpipe duet with Dave Dunn.
  • He used to be a mean bastard... Is no longer mean.
  • He, not once, but twice, passed gas directly (and noisily) onto Vic DeLeon's face as he napped on a beanbag. It's true. Ask Vic. And Cameron Pinard. And Jason Sussman.
  • He drew the monumentally small (and awful) "shore leave" comic in the graphic novel (printed actual size).
  • He is the arch nemesis of Christopher Carney.
  • He designed the desks used in the office according to Mr. Carney. He is not responsible for the idiotic 120 degree angle they used, which makes it near impossible to lay out on the floor. So stop pestering him. He is responsible for putting lockable wheels on the design, you may thank him for that.
  • He is the mentor of Mike Zak. Mike Zak is his protege. They opened for Bowie in '72. It rocked.

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