FANDOM


      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Noob?
Halopedia
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Occupied Dumbass Shit Tasters.
Cquote1Yo dawgs- I mean, crikey!Cquote2
— ODST talking about his shrimp on the barbie. Australian accents and mannerisms are common among ODSTs.
Cquote1I either just shot the Master Chief, or a large, green, grunt....in clanking armorCquote2
— ODST talking about friendly fire.
Cquote1Stop exaggerating, we're NOT THAT BAD!Cquote2
— Angry ODST who just read this article...or perhaps a regular marine reading this article. Either way they're wrong.
How not to be an ODST

How not to be an ODST.

Overly Dimwitted Suicidal Troopers are a super elite group of the UNSC Marines whose primary objective is to fall from orbit in little pods to engage the enemey in suicidal missions. This pathetic tactic is used simply to soften up a landing-zone for better soldiers like the Master Chief to roll in with style. They are among the most expendable and socially-inept of Marines constituting almost every social faux-pas imaginable. They always tend to be ugly, socially-awkward, and moronic teenagers who decided to inlist to "get back" at their parents. All other armed forces operating under the UNSC hate them because they're a bunch of self-important brats.
On the topic of ODST equipment, while their armor may look cool to the average 12-year-old boy, they are actually incredibly ineffective at offering protection and offer no camouflage at all. They're helmets offer a unique gimick called VISR which serves the purpose of blinding the user within battle. As for weaponry, each ODST is equipped
ODSTs
with a standard issue flower which when sprays water in people's faces. Either that or a gun. ODST guns include the stealth-oriented M6C/SOCOM and M7S Caseless Submachine Gun. Why they are given stealth weapons when their tactic always involve advancing on the enemy in the loudest way possible is anyone's guess.
To sum it all up for you, they are essentially regular Marines that were given fancy but useless suits, gadgets, and weapons to make themselves feel better about their apparent lack of manhood.

Rivalry with SPARTANsEdit

Rivalry with the SPARTANs initially began when a 14-year-old Master Chief kicked the living shit out of a sqaud of ODSTs because they began to taunt him. After such severe beatings, multiple ODST regiments began to feel embarassed because their soldiers lost to a little boy.This would cause a long-lasting fued between the ODSTs and SPARTANs.

To this day, they're always trying to outdo the Spartans and often try to downplay their success, chalking it up to luck, exaggerations or elves. Naturally, they are too spineless to tell SPARTANS what they really think and always suck up to him when he's around. Basically, they can never hope to compete with the SPARTANS.

Reason for deploymentEdit

They are marines who are selected for the following skills: dying; trash-talking more cometent and powerful enemies (and allies); recklessly charging superior forces, calling everyone "meat", and being extremely crazy. They are then sent in iPods to distract the covenant until the noobish smart marines can get in safely. The intelligence of an ODST is equivalent to that of a very small rock or a single grain of sand or maybe even air.

Their aiming capabilities are that of a rotting banana. They also shoot at the chief and marines (without success) and have 15 wives on Earth (Mormons). The "Helljumpers" on the fourth Hula Hoop (or Anti-Son-Of-A-Bitch-Machine) were lead by Major siliva siliva was an even crazier ODST who would make petty jabs at people he couldn't match mentally (so pretty much everyone). He also had a very poor understanding of scale and basic math; During a raid on the crashed PoH he believed a few dozen (or maybe up to 200 or so) ODSTs could defeat the thousands of covenant in the area...and was right. He was killed when the lies and stuff asploded. A death with far more dignity than he deserved.

ODST's are fired from "drop pods" and are expected to land there, kick ass, and let everyone else come and land. Unfortunately, ODST's aren't good at math, or science which factor in where you need to go. They often miss the drop zone and land in African cities, where they then save the lives of Engineers and escape. They die later, of course. One ODST noted out of the seventeen drops he had taken part of, he had only made one succesful landing. ODST's are launched from Navy Frigates, which are usually destroyed while the ODST's are dropping, so they have no ride home.

They also suck at driving, amazingly more than a marine. They drive like a 90 years old drunk geezer thats high on drugs and then eats a sleeping pill. They are good at ramming into the huge tanks that can blow the shit out of you, toilets, and off the cliff. The game halo 3 ODST was created to make them feel better. For some reason, even though you are an ODST, you are a badass fighter. All ODSTs own Harley-Davidson Choppers, Spartans own Pink little girl's bikes, and Marines own a Pedal car. The Master Chief However, lost the Keyes to his Harley-Davidson, because Cortana took them so when Master chief would find them she would be in his Chopper's computer ready to rape MC. The main reason why they were deployed is to divert fire to themselves and make Spartans look good

TrainingEdit

ODSTs go under Rigorous training, from being trained how to swim, to firing a rifle, with Rigorous SEAL training, like how to Drink a Pint mixed with Cobra Venom, how to Fuck with a Female Pilot, how to seduce yourself, how to play sudoku, how to tie their dick in a knot, how to how to throw a baseball and how to win a "Hold your breath" contest.


Schedule:

  • 05.00:The sarge wakes the trainees up by humping their bunker.
  • 05.30:The sarge berates the trainees and then sends them to march through a live round targeting range.
  • 06.00:Breakfast.
  • 06.05:Time for the daily beating.
  • 15.30:Watch the Halo Porn channel.
  • 15.35:Soccer, Spartans vs ODSTs.
  • 16.35:After losing with 0-200, the sarge berates the trainees even more. Then he rapes them in the mouth and then sends them through the live round firing range again.
  • 17.05:Dinner. The trainees talk about the superiors behind their back.
  • 17.25:After finding out that the trainees have been talking about him behind his back, the sarge send the trainees through the firing range yet again.
  • 17.55:Lessions in unarmed combat. Everyone pimpslaps eachother until 19.00.
  • 19.00:Drop pod exercise. Due to budget cuts, the trainees are launched by the aid of a giant rubber band.
  • 21.00:Dissappointed by the poor results, the sarge sends the trainees through the firing range again.
  • 21.30:Driving lessions. The trainees fails horribly.
  • 22.30:The trainees celebrates the fact that they have survived the day by giving out high-fives. The sarge complains about the noise and send them though the firing range.
  • 23.00:Bedtime.
  • 00.00:Air-raid drill.
  • 05.00 Repeat.

FightingEdit

ODSTs are much more tougher than the average Spartan, because they use guns instead of Spears. They also work out alot, which gets them all the chicks, while Spartans get their Muscles injected into them, turning them into people who can't take their helmet off, and they never get a date. (Of course however that is what they want you believe). ODSTs however, die more often, because they are given a small vest instead of Big Hulking Iron Man Armor like the Spartans have. Most ODSTs though, become heroes, and have rivalries with the Spartans. Their main tactic is to fall down and wait for spartans to use them as a landing pad.

The average ODST can deadlift 20kg compared to the Marines 10kg, and can run a little faster than 3 Mph, except Alpha nine who can bench cars and run at 1000 MPH.

Armed ResponseEdit

Seals ODSTs, are trained in Armed Response, and they are also the SWAT (Sulfuric Wanking Ass Twats) of the UNSC. Trained in armed Response, they were involved in the 2552 Hollywood Shootout, where they took down Bastards, who were later revealed to be tourists.

Famous ODSTsEdit

The ODSTs (Orbital Drop Shock Troopers) are the Navy SEALs of the UNSC.

  • Nathan Fillion Edward Buck, who plays the lead role in the TV series 'castle' and is famous for eating at hooters.
  • Gage who was killen by The Rookie before he became an ODST.
  • Richard Marcinko the 200th, Helped Chuck Norris during the Battle of the Delta Hula-Hoop, on Ancient Aztec Ruins, fighting the Covenant as an elite force more Commonly known as Delta Halo Force.
  • T. Rookie, Was one of the most heroic ODSTs of all time, with his greatest accomplishment being able to Have Sex with a female operative while getting his ass whooped by a Famous Actor.
  • Dutch an insane man who has the balls to charge at a lot of brutes, grunts, 4 wraiths and a UFO Yelling "IMMA CHARGING MY LAZER."
  • Some guy who has the same voice as the Marine who dies in Halo one in the Level with AIDS and the Lightbulb, Was a man who was killed during the Battle of the AIDS swamp, but his clone, a Lincoln-six type Clone named Ewan, became an ODST who rock with Marcinko-200th.
  • Faison, a very famous ODST, died in action while defending Lieutenant Car-Keys and a Grey (Very Emo) Spartan, Was known for being So Bad-Ass and having the guts to Tattoo a "Bastard" Tattoo on to Jacob Keyes, who was a lieutenant.
  • Echo-Six Got pwned and raped by a female spartan during a training exercise.
  • This Guy was Rescued three times by a Female spartan, who then told him to "Take the Shot, Only you can do it!", obviously meaning that she wanted him to... But instead, He took her Sniper Rifle and shot the Prophet of haters, who was phsyically disabled later and put onto a chair with a laser gun.
  • John Mcdipsh** who was the only straight ODST in the UNSC.
  • John "pillow" Rikson was a jumper, except he landed the wrong way and provided a landing pad for Master Chief.
  • Dick Fuckedguy landed his pod into a PAC cannon
  • Melissa McKay one of the few marines who could tell the diference from their gun and their ass, she was however dumb enough to blow a ship up with her still inside, Mckay was a slut though.
  • Antonio Silva a retarded turd who would rape anyone he could pull rank on, he did however die... yes im happy about that.
  • Some random dude who just happens to be Ellen Anders boyfriend

Modern day ODSTsEdit

US Navy Seals and other shitheads are the modern day ODSTs.

Template:Humans

Real world ODSTs02:32

Real world ODSTs

Actual action starts at 0:31

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.