Grunt-blackwhite   This article is under the protection of the GCI
Cquote1The Cabal is a lie. So is the cake.Cquote2

Hello, you the one looking for some AK-47's GayK-47's? Wait…you are not one who called... Oh, you’re looking for the Gruntipedia cabal, aren't you? Well, since we have now recorded your IP address and a hit squad will be there in about twenty minutes, I might as well tell you about the whole conspiracy.

When Al Gore started the internet, many people were happy with the simple sharing of files but some wanted more than that they wanted more... they wanted to control the internet itself, only one thing stood in their way and that was Bill Gates and his minion, Microsoft Sam. With the mind control powers of Microsoft Sam at his disposal Bill Gates quickly took over all aspects of the electronics world (some toasters even are under his control). Only two factions still oppose him: the Mac and the nerd rebels of the internet, the Cabal. This Cabal is forced underground by political parties (such as Jack Thompson), Microsoft, and spam filters. They fight Microsoft in a fruitless battle, and their numbers slowly dwindling over the years, since it is so hard to find members who will never betray you (a la 'The Godfather'). The leaders of our local groups happen to be RelentlessRecusant (RR) in charge of the Halopedia cabal and Simon rjh in charge of the Gruntipedia wing of the cabal. Since you are about to die, think of this as our way of saying 'you didn’t make the cut.' So since you have about ten minutes left I will tell you about myself…My 'name' is H3 and I am gay and horny, I just sell 'things' to the highest bidder. Please ignore my companion, ShadowyLeftHand, because she will attempt to tell you I am now a member of the Cabal, and that is simply not true.

Well, now, the hit squad is a little early, and if you look out your window on the other side of the street there is a car with tinted windows. On the other side of the windows are two men dressed in black loading silenced M-16’s and readying some C4 to get rid of the ‘evidence.’ Please also ignore the Black Hawk with the SpecOps team rappeling on your roof. And their silenced MP5s. And their shouts about nuking grid kilo-four-six-alpha(your house).. I know what you're thinking, "When did Agent Smith show up?" Wrong. This is NOT the Matrix, contrary to whatever Blemo may think. Well, then I will tell you this right before you die, “It will hurt, and I will see you in Hell.” You survived? Well, there is no Cabal. Serious. Uh, does anyone have an M6D?

The administration of Gruntipedia would like to remind you that there is no Cabal, and you will not under any circumstances discuss the Cabal, or else something unpleasant life changing will happen to you.