For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on MRE.
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

Over the past hundred years, MREs Meals Ready to Eat (a.k.a Meals Refusing to Exit) have changed differently...very different. Now these days we added many different items to these small packages, consisting of:

  • A crumb of bread and moldy, green cheese that is covered in Grunt piss
  • Unloaded pistol
  • 1 pistol round without gunpowder
  • 1 gram of Gunpowder in plastic container
  • Steroids
  • A Candy bar
  • More Steroids
  • Soulja Boy the Jackal's Kiss me through whatever Jackals use as Phones album.
  • A music player that can only play Soulja Boy the Jackal Albums
  • 4000 tubs of margarine (om nom nom)
  • human decomposing hands
  • A retarded mini-monkey
  • a fake drivers license
  • DVD of the movie Bruno
  • Expired cheese wiz
  • A thermos of coffee with trace amounts of Jackal piss
  • A box full of Nuclear warheads

These small yet satisfying (satisfying is referring to the Soulja Boy the Jackal album) rations usually taste like a pile of crap wrapped in dirty socks, and smell like leathery pig skin wrapped in old bacon...


Marines are forced to eat and use everything in the MRE or be shot. 9/10 Marines rather be shot and raped. The Marines that eat and use everything are then forced to watch the movie Twilight.

They are also very wasteful. Every single MRE has things you wouldn't need more than one of. There is a TV/DVD player and the same CD in each MRE. Each MRE costs $100,000 (USD). And so, that's where your taxes go, folks.


MREs are kept in metal crates and weigh about 50 pounds. Marines are supposed to carry these crates on their back, but they are way to bulky so most marines don't even take them, they just starve to death.

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