This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by so it will fit the screen, fool!
Over the past hundred years, MREs Meals Ready to Eat (a.k.a Meals Refusing to Exit) have changed differently...very different. Now these days we added many different items to these small packages, consisting of:
- Brute dick
- A crumb of bread and moldy, green cheese that is covered in Grunt piss
- Unloaded pistol
- 1 pistol round without gunpowder
- 1 gram of Gunpowder in plastic container
- A random porn picture of cortana, which are traded with other marines.
- A Candy bar
- More Steroids
- An extremely small Condom
- 2 Girls 1 Cup (DVD)
- A small portable TV with a DVD-player that can only play 2 Girls 1 Cup
- Scratched P Diddy CD
- Soulja Boy the Jackal music CD
- 4000 tubs of margarine (om nom nom)
- human decomposing hands
- A retarded mini-monkey
- a fake drivers license
- DVD of the movie Bruno
- Expired cheese wiz
- A thermos of coffe with trace amounts of Jackal piss
- A dildo, gay marines(a.k.a all of them)
- 5 Cups worth of lemonade(a.k,a Brute Piss)
- A jar of Mayo(A.k.a Grunt sperm)
- 10 pounds of Lard
- 3 jars of "mr lube"(for gay marines)
- A box full of Nuclear warheads
These small yet satisfying (satisfying is referring to Cortana and the music CD) rations usually taste like a pile of s**t wrapped in dirty socks, and smell like leathery pig skin wrapped in old bacon...although some Marines have been known to keep the Cortana pictures to themselves.
Marines are forced to eat and use everything in the MRE or be shot. 9/10 Marines rather be shot and raped. The Marines that eat and use everyting are then forced to watch the MC get raped by Cortana Over and over.
Now the MRE has changed to Designation POS: Pack of Shit. (aka Possibly Ogre Shit)
They are also very wasteful. Every single MRE has things you wouldn't need more than one of. There is a TV/DVD player and the same CD in each MRE. Each MRE costs $100,000,000.Plus $10,000 for milking grunts and forceing Bruts to piss in a cup then cuting of there Dicks. That's where your taxes go, folks.
MREs are kept in metal crates and wiegh about 50 pounds. Marines are supposed to carry these crates on their back, but they are way to bulky so most marines don't even take them, they just starve to death. Hobos actually collect these abandoned MREs, which they use for food and shelter.