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M6D Pistol

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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on M6D Pistol.
God's Finger
Production information
Manufacturer

Misriah Armory

Model

M6D Mobile Planetary Defense Weapon Platform

Type

Holy Handcannon

Cost
  • 6 Souls if Virgins
  • 48 Souls if Non-Virgins
Technical specifications
Size

Pistol Size

Damage Per Hit

Unheard Of

Magazine Size

12 Rounds (Way More Than Necessary)

Maximum Ammunition

132 Rounds

Fire Mode

Fully-Automatic

Ammunition Type

.90 BMFG Thermonuclear Rounds

Operation

Soul Operated

Rate of Fire

3 Souls/Second

Muzzle Velocity

1/90th the Speed of Light

Accuracy

Extreme

Range

Effective Range: 150 AU Maximum Range: 2000 AU

Usage
Era(s)

Year of the Lord, 2552

Counterpart

N/A

Counterweapon(s)

Don't be ridiculous.

Affiliation

God

[Source]


Cquote1Dis pistol is a big meanie poo poo head!Cquote2
— The M6C
Cquote1In Soviet Russia, M6D still pwns EVERYTHING!!Cquote2
— The Master Chief
Cquote1What do you know!? Marines can actually get kills with this thing!Cquote2
— A player
Cquote1Just holding this thing makes you feel like God's own anti-son-of-a-bitch machine!Cquote2
— Anonymous marine who is actualy talking about a different gun entirely but it fits better here
Cquote1This beats the hell out of roundhouse kicking.Cquote2
— Chuck Norris
Cquote1M6D is love, M6D is life.Cquote2
— Most people on the M6D
Flood Ownage Johnson.jpg

Avery Johnson pwns a Flood Combat form with his Jesus Gun.

The M6D, more commonly referred to as the Cannon or God's Finger, is a pistol capable of pwning the galaxy.

M6D

Chuck Norris wielding the Jesus Gun

Features Edit

This weapon also has the uncanny ability to instantly rape anything in the center of the screen when the trigger is pulled. It features an ornate array of useful features, including a digital scope, hand-guard for improved bashing, and a special alloy of metals designed to withstand star-like levels of cosmic pressure. It is considered the single greatest achievement of any weapons manufacturer.

Operation Mechanism Edit

This almighty harbinger of calamity is fed through a system of devouring the souls of the damned and condensing them into a bullet small enough to be fired. It is unknown what incredible cost Misriah Armory had to endure to manufacture this gun. Likewise, its actual system is unknown as well. Its assumed that no mortal could comprehend the mechanism. Thus, nobody has asked.

History Edit

1:1 In the beginning, God created the M6D. 2 When the earth was as yet unformed and desolate, with the surface of the ocean depths shrouded in darkness, and while the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters, 3 God said, "Let there be light!" So the weapon was first fired, and there was light.

4 God saw that the light was beautiful. He separated the light from the darkness, 5 calling the light "Firing," and the darkness "Ejecting." The creation of the Cannon was day one.

6 Then God said, "Let there be a way to load another round into the chamber without having to manually do so!" 7 So God made a slide mechanism that loaded new rounds into the Cannon after the last one is fired. And that is what happened: 8 God called the action of loading a new round into the chamber "feeding." The creation of the feeding was the second day.

9 Then God said, "Let there be a locking assembly to ensure the round remains still prior to firing!" And that is what happened: 10 God called the action "locking," and he created the sound so that it might create fear in His enemies. And God saw how good it was.

11 Then God said, "Let there be a safety so that destruction brought by this weapon is not by accident." And that is what happened: 12 A lever sprouted on the rear of the slide, including a half-cock safety lever as an additional measure of safety. And God saw that it was good. 13 The creation of the Safeties was the third day.

14 Then God said, "Let there be lights across the sky to distinguish day from night, to act as signs for seasons, days, and years, 15 to serve as lights in the sky, and to shine on the earth!" And that is what happened: 16 God fashioned two great lights—the laser sight to guide during the day and a tactical flashlight to guide during the night,as well as night sights. 17 God placed them in the Cannon to shine on the earth, 18 to differentiate between day and night, and to distinguish light from darkness. And God saw how good it was. 19 The creation of Tactical Attachments was the fourth day.

20 Then God said, "Let the oceans swarm with living creatures, and let flying creatures soar above the earth throughout the sky that there may be targets to practice on!" 21 So God created every kind of magnificent marine creature, every kind of living marine crawler with which the waters swarmed, and every kind of flying creature. And God shot a few to remind them that their lives were temporary. 22 God blessed them by saying, "Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the oceans. Let the birds multiply throughout the earth, lest I run low of things to destroy!" 23 The Destruction of the First Victim was the fifth day.

24 Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth each kind of living creature, each kind of livestock and crawling thing, and each kind of earth's animals, because I still don't think there's enough things to shoot!" And that is what happened: 25 God made each kind of the earth's animals, along with every kind of livestock and crawling thing. And God shot a few more, for good measure.

26 Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, to wield these weapons! Let them use the animals of the world as ammunition for ill-devised and ineffective weaponry! Let them lay waste to the world itself!"

27 So God created mankind in his own image;

in his own image God created them;

he created them Marine and Civilian

28 God blessed the humans by saying to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it! Be masters over the fish in the ocean, the birds that fly, and every living thing that crawls on the earth!"

29 God also told them, "Look! I have given you the most powerful weapons in the universe. They will produce your food. 30 I have given you ammunition to last eternal and animals with which to destroy using those weapons. Go forth and conquer." And that is what happened.

31 Now God saw all that he had made, and indeed, it was very good! The M6D's Final Form was the sixth day. Genesis 1:1-31

and

2:1 With this the firing cycle and assembled parts were completed. 2 By the seventh day God had completed the work he had been doing, so on the seventh day he stopped working on everything that he had done. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God stopped working on everything that he had been creating.

Legacy Edit

This gun had a child, the M6C Magnum. Despite a rich heritage of mass murder, the M6C was a piece of crap. M6D disowned it, then turned around and owned it in a gun-to-gun fight. Then the M6C had gun uh, "mated" with a Desert Eagle and as a result the M6G was created, which had no scope (you have to pwn up close), a lower fire rate (you have to pwn slower) and a 1/3 smaller magazine (you have to pwn carefully). NOT the Jesus-gun.

It is said that when MC pulls out the M6D, the testicle chins grow a new testicle chin, so that they are armoured against the M6D. Of course, the M6D just rips through the chinny chin chin, and also blows the whole house down. It is said that Misriah Armory only allowed 10 of the weapons to ever be recreated, though none would ever match the original M6D, wielded only by the Master Chief himself.

Trivia Edit

  • This pistol is awesome.
  • The M6D has a reputation of destroying everything Nooby (especially Noobs)
  • The M6D is better than the Rocket Launcher, despite being a fraction of the size.
  • Did I mention this pistol is awesome?
  • The Master Chief loves the M6D, and Cortana gets jealous because of that.
  • Oh, and, the M6D is awesome.
Weapons
UNSC
Melee Weapons: Kitchen Knife | Japanese Butter Knife | Taser Stick

Handguns: Comfortable Pistol | Another Comfortable Pistol | WTF no scope? | M6C/Suck em' | God's Sidearm | Safety Mode On | Trusty Sidearm | Trusty Sidearm 2: Gradius | Assassination Pistol | Carbine Pistol | Silenced Pistol | Orbital Airstrike

Automatic & Semi-Automatic Weapons: Bullet Hose | Silent Bullet Spitter | Insult to Rifles | Revised Insult to Rifles | Chronologically Confusing insult to rifles | The insult to rifles that actually kicks ass | Bee-Arr | Bullet Spammer | Another insult to rifles | Large Bullet Hose

Other: HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Campergun | Noob Obliterator | Crude Thumper rip-off | Supersonic Rail Exploder | Exploding Cake Detonator | Kill The Hydra

Grenades: Damn, no stickies | Bang Grenade | Ear Bleeder | "I embrace y'all with napalm..."

Covenant
Melee Weapons: Energy Shank | Hot Poker | Death Stick | Energy Shiv | Gravy Hammer | Monkey Fist | Monkey Shank

Other: Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Overheater | Noobler | Larger Noobler | Long range Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Vacuum Quadlazer | Jelly Launcher | Semtex Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box

Heavy Weapons: Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Death impersonated | Godly Plasma Rifle | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Hax Gun | Smaller Hax Gun | Derp Gun | Magic Grenade Thrower

Forerunner
The Quadlazer | Zapper | Tracer Rifle | Yellow Light Spammer | Campergun's Retarded Brother | Triforce Gun | Promethean Glory | Forcefield | Bee Grenade

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