Halo4 UNSC-DMR--02 tif jpgcopy

One way to clean your teeth

AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!
Cquote1This weapon doesn't make any sense whatsoever.Cquote2
— Someone with a point
Cquote1Does anything in Halo?Cquote2
— Someone else with a point
Cquote1Same cartridge and barrel length as all the shitty assault rifles but totally different behaviour. I don't think the canon writers where talking to the gameplay designers.Cquote2
— Someone addressing minor design flaws in the Halo universe
Cquote1This is the worst toothpick ever.Cquote2
— A Brute using the DMR for the wrong reasons

The DMR, also known as the Dead Man's Rifle or Despicable Manly Rag, is a semi-automatic... the 26th century.....

It fires turtles at extremely high velocity. It was invented in 1850 by the prophet of haterz to kill homosexual ostrich robots. The UNSC thought it was badass so they adopted it as their main rifle 1 second after seeing it. They decided to replace its reticle with a flower that blooms every time you fire. Somehow this makes you have shitty accuracy.


The DMR is semi-automatic of reasons only known to Bungie and retards, and we're in the 26th century... odd....

In addition to the retarded firing mechanism the DMR only have 15 bullets in the clip(FYI, that is damn little). also, the DMR does 000000 damage and is only used by noobs.

When looking at the above facts it looks like the reasons the weapon was incorporated is to make noobs more noobish and SWAT's more...SWATish?


the DMR has such good accuracy that fireing it causes it to spaz out insanely until it needs to reload.
  • Have I mentioned that it sucks?
  • Somehow aiming down the scope and shooting makes your character cross-eyed and not hit anything.
Melee Weapons: Kitchen Knife | Japanese Butter Knife | Taser Stick

Handguns: Comfortable Pistol | Another Comfortable Pistol | WTF no scope? | M6C/Suck em' | God's Sidearm | Safety Mode On | Trusty Sidearm | Trusty Sidearm 2: Gradius | Assassination Pistol | Carbine Pistol | Silenced Pistol | Orbital Airstrike

Automatic & Semi-Automatic Weapons: Bullet Hose | Silent Bullet Spitter | Insult to Rifles | Revised Insult to Rifles | Chronologically Confusing insult to rifles | The insult to rifles that actually kicks ass | Bee-Arr | Bullet Spammer | Another insult to rifles | Large Bullet Hose

Other: HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Campergun | Noob Obliterator | Crude Thumper rip-off | Supersonic Rail Exploder | Exploding Cake Detonator | Kill The Hydra

Grenades: Damn, no stickies | Bang Grenade | Ear Bleeder | "I embrace y'all with napalm..."

Melee Weapons: Energy Shank | Hot Poker | Death Stick | Energy Shiv | Gravy Hammer | Monkey Fist | Monkey Shank

Other: Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Overheater | Noobler | Larger Noobler | Long range Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Vacuum Quadlazer | Jelly Launcher | Semtex Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box

Heavy Weapons: Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Death impersonated | Godly Plasma Rifle | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Hax Gun | Smaller Hax Gun | Derp Gun | Magic Grenade Thrower

The Quadlazer | Zapper | Tracer Rifle | Yellow Light Spammer | Campergun's Retarded Brother | Triforce Gun | Promethean Glory | Forcefield | Bee Grenade

(Everyone who ever touched this gun died of aids)

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.