[File:800px-Lordhoodcats.JPG|thumb|right|300px|Left: Snowball, Middle: Lord Hood, Right: Mr. Fluffy McBottomsly the Third.]]Lord Hood is an old ass motherfucker who survived the Battle of Earth, and somehow all of the other major battles (the
fact that rumors that he used Marines as meatshields are inconsequential). He was there for the Master Chief's funeral, he did not cry, he only shed manly tears for his fallen gay lover comrade in arms.
Also, he was a straight-up G.
Little is known about Lord Hood when he was younger, but it is known that he was born in a province of Earth known as "da Hood." We also know that he spent most of his time
torturing small animals communing with nature. He lived on Earth for most of his natural life, which ended when he was twelve, it is rumored that he committed suicide after learning that his cat had run away.
Early Life v2.0Edit
Since the military knew that he was headed towards a military career, they rebuilt him, stronger, faster, and more powerful. Because he was now a cyborg, Lord Hood no longer feels
sexual stimulation any emotions, because he no longer feels anything (physical or otherwise) he believes that he is invincible.
He was only in battle school for eight hours before becoming a Fleet Admiral, the fact that was a cyborg did help a bit. Here is an itinerary of his time there:
- 9:00:13 - Lord Hood arrives at Battle School.
- 9:15:29 - Lord Hood is finished unpacking.
- 9:49:49 - The new arrival lecture is over.
- Lord Hood transcribed the lecture here
- 10:04:34 - Done with breakfast.
- Lord Hood had Cream of Beat(down)
- 10:35:14 - He finishes his first training mission with a perfect score.
- 12:56:40 - Single-handedly defeated a Brute attack.
- 2:03:57 - Promoted to Admiral after attack.
- 4:12:13 - Had sex with the commander in charge of the Battle School (The commanders gender is still unconfirmed)
- He felt nothing, as he is a cyborg.
- 5:00:21 - Promoted to Fleet Admiral after said sex, and given his own ship.
Lord Hood has seen every major battle of the war, his fearless bodyguard saved him many a times, and for that Sgt. James "meatshield" Jones, was given a useless medal that he later sold on e-bay. Because of Sgt. Jones, Lord Hood was able to see the end of the war, he helped rebuild the Earth, but after he thought that he was so powerful that he could become supreme ruler, he was then
run out of UNSC headquarters asked to take an early retirement.
Lord Hood currently lives in a run down apartment in the new New York. He lives there with his 48+ cats. He puts them into squads and routinely plays war games with them. Currently Team: Meow is in the lead. Mr Sprinkles is his favorite.
He has a face that would resemble a scrotum.
Interestingly enough, he also has a scrotum that resembles a face. It has a sort of Robert Downey Jr. quality to it, and is quite charming. His scrotum turned down the role of Iron Man in fact, as it was originally offered the part.
- That retarded guy
- That other retarded guy
- That douchebag
- That other douchbag
- Yet another douchbag
- His family is serousley screwed up
- AIDs sister
- Manuel Hood (his brother)
- Lord Hat
- And your great great granny.
- Your Mom
- The Taco Bell Dog