- That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
- — Noble Six entering the Corvette.
This article is currently incomplete; please assume the author is a lazy-ass.
Long and Hard Long Night of Solace is not the fifth playable level in Halo Reach and it does not take place after the events of A really wrong name for a level.
It is about Noble Team being dropped on a beach by a bird, then walking through kilometers of sand to get to a rocket which enables them to blow up 30 mile long space turds painted purple.
Soviet Russia, some place on Reach
Friday the 13th, September 15, 2010
A crab walks by in the dusty desert you explored in the last level
- Auntie Dot (COM): "Our foe is more stupid than we thought. That spire from the last shitty level was a teleporter linked to a cloaked, Covenant Dick, A grave threat for our moms."
- Jun-A2666666666666: "No shit?"
Jun wipes off glowing poop from Jorge's shoulder pauldron.
- Jun-A266: "Uh-oh. Who's your money on this time?"
- Chief Warrant Officer JEORGEEEE: I PAY TEN DOLLARS FOR HER TO STRIP TEASE!
Jorge takes off his pants.
- Jun-A266: "You always fuck her."
- Jorge-052: "She's always available."
- Kit-Kat: "That thing's fucking us, and we're waiting for zombies?"
- Commander: "Yes"
- Catherine-B320: "Oh...well I have an idea"
- Carter-A259: "I know that look, Kat."
- Catherine-B320: "You can say fuck me."
- Carter-A259: "FUCK. ME."
- Catherine-B320: "OKAY
Long overdrawn Sex Scene
Sex Scene Ends
- Carter-A259: "...Fine. I'll hear your idea."
- Catherine-B320: "Remember that accident a couple years back? Got me pregnant?"
- Carter-A259: "Vaguely, a slip-space drive malfunction, right?"
- Catherine-B320: "Actually, it worked fine. I got pregnant and had a baby, but I lost it"
- Carter-A259: "And this is relevant...how?"
- Catherine-B320: "A certain Covenant Supercarrier could, with some assistance, suffer the same unfortunate accident..."
- Carter-A259: "Even for you, Kat, that's-"
- Catherine-B320: "Inspired?"
- Carter-A259: "Not the word I would use."
Jorge and Emile walk up to them.
- Jorge-052: "What the fuck?"
- Carter-A259: "Go ahead. Explain."
Kat reaches for Emile's dick, he stops her.
- Catherine-B320: "May I?"
Emile slaps. Jun and Noble Six walk up
- Warrant Officer Emile-A239: "Go fuck yourself."
- Catherine-B320: "Objective? Destroy Covenant Carrier in dick orbit above us."
- Jorge-052: "This sanctioned, sir?"
- Carter-A259: "What do you think?"
- Jorge-052: "Oh.....well...am I gonna die at the end of this mission?"
- Carter-A259: "What do you think?"
- Jorge-052: "Oh"
- Catherine-B320: "Next thing I knew, my baby was gone!!!"
- Carter-A259: "So...all we need is...wait what were you saying?"
Some Place, WE DON'T KNOOOOOW
September, 11, 2001. 9:11 Hours
The screen moves to show the launch facility.
A Bird drops off Nobles One, Two, Three, Four, Five Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine at a beach far from the actual location
- Jorge-052: "Shit"
- Carter-A259: "Shit"
- Catherine-B320: "SHITr."
- Emile-A239: "Whys everyone saying honkey shit!?."
Noble team moves up the beach, eventually reaching an area where a old ass covenant dropshit is dropping off several turds. The launch station is now in view.
- Catherine-B320: "Launch facility, 1,000,000 miles ahead."
- Emile-A239: "But that is too far awayyyy!"
- Carter-A259: "STFU Emile, you are just a lazy ass"
1,000,000 miles later...
- SPARTAN-B312: "Hey Jorge, come to the giant roller coaster."
- Jorge-052: "I love roller coasters!"
- Carter-A259: "K you guys go and go on that 'roller coaster'"
- Jorge and B312: "YAAAAY!"
Jorge and B312 go onto the giant roller coaster that goes into space.
Second Floor: SPAAAAAAAACE Edit
- SPARTAN-B312: "Boy I cant wait to touch all these buttons."
- Jorge-052: "Touch a button and I break your face."
- SPARTAN-B312: "..."
- Jorge-052: "..."
- SPARTAN-B312: "k"
- Jun-A266: "NOM NOM NOM NOM NOOOOM."
- Catherine-B320: "Ah shit, Jun's voice changing medicine wore out,"
- Jun-A266: "NOM NOM NOM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM."
SPARTAN-B312: "Boy I cant wait to touch all these buttons."