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Cquote1That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.Cquote2
Noble Six entering the Corvette.
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This article is currently incomplete; please assume the author is a lazy-ass.
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Noble Team running to the fight after a long day at the beach.

Long and Hard Long Night of Solace is not the fifth playable level in Halo Reach and it does not take place after the events of A really wrong name for a level.

It is about Noble Team being dropped on a beach by a bird, then walking through kilometers of sand to get to a rocket which enables them to blow up 30 mile long space turds painted purple.

TranscriptEdit

Soviet Russia, some place on Reach

Friday the 13th, September 15, 2010

A crab walks by in the dusty desert you explored in the last level

  • Auntie Dot (COM): "Our foe is more stupid than we thought. That spire from the last shitty level was a teleporter linked to a cloaked, Covenant Dick, A grave threat for our moms."
  • Jun-A2666666666666: "No shit?"

Jun wipes off glowing poop from Jorge's shoulder pauldron.

  • Jun-A266: "Uh-oh. Who's your money on this time?"
  • Chief Warrant Officer JEORGEEEE: I PAY TEN DOLLARS FOR HER TO STRIP TEASE!

Jorge takes off his pants.

  • Jun-A266: "You always fuck her."
  • Jorge-052: "She's always available."
  • Kit-Kat: "That thing's fucking us, and we're waiting for zombies?"
  • Commander: "Yes"
  • Catherine-B320: "Oh...well I have an idea"
  • Carter-A259: "I know that look, Kat."
  • Catherine-B320: "You can say fuck me."
  • Carter-A259: "FUCK. ME."
  • Catherine-B320: "OKAY
    Long overdrawn Sex Scene

Sex Scene Ends

  • Carter-A259: "...Fine. I'll hear your idea."
  • Catherine-B320: "Remember that accident a couple years back? Got me pregnant?"
  • Carter-A259: "Vaguely, a slip-space drive malfunction, right?"
  • Catherine-B320: "Actually, it worked fine. I got pregnant and had a baby, but I lost it"
  • Carter-A259: "And this is relevant...how?"
  • Catherine-B320: "A certain Covenant Supercarrier could, with some assistance, suffer the same unfortunate accident..."
  • Carter-A259: "Even for you, Kat, that's-"
  • Catherine-B320: "Inspired?"
  • Carter-A259: "Not the word I would use."

Jorge and Emile walk up to them.

  • Jorge-052: "What the fuck?"
  • Carter-A259: "Go ahead. Explain."

Kat reaches for Emile's dick, he stops her.

  • Catherine-B320: "May I?"

Emile slaps. Jun and Noble Six walk up

  • Warrant Officer Emile-A239: "Go fuck yourself."
  • Catherine-B320: "Objective? Destroy Covenant Carrier in dick orbit above us."
  • Jorge-052: "This sanctioned, sir?"
  • Carter-A259: "What do you think?"
  • Jorge-052: "Oh.....well...am I gonna die at the end of this mission?"
  • Carter-A259: "What do you think?"
  • Jorge-052: "Oh"
  • Catherine-B320: "Next thing I knew, my baby was gone!!!"
  • Carter-A259: "So...all we need is...wait what were you saying?"

Some Place, WE DON'T KNOOOOOW

September, 11, 2001. 9:11 Hours

The screen moves to show the launch facility.

A Bird drops off Nobles One, Two, Three, Four, Five Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine at a beach far from the actual location

  • Jorge-052: "Shit"
  • Carter-A259: "Shit"
  • Catherine-B320: "SHITr."
  • Emile-A239: "Whys everyone saying honkey shit!?."

First Floor: Dicks, Bitches, and even more DicksEditEdit

Noble team moves up the beach, eventually reaching an area where a old ass covenant dropshit is dropping off several turds. The launch station is now in view.

  • Catherine-B320: "Launch facility, 1,000,000 miles ahead."
  • Emile-A239: "But that is too far awayyyy!"
  • Carter-A259: "STFU Emile, you are just a lazy ass"

1,000,000 miles later...

  • SPARTAN-B312: "Hey Jorge, come to the giant roller coaster."
  • Jorge-052: "I love roller coasters!"
  • Carter-A259: "K you guys go and go on that 'roller coaster'"
  • Jorge and B312: "YAAAAY!"

Jorge and B312 go onto the giant roller coaster that goes into space.

Second Floor: SPAAAAAAAACE Edit

  • SPARTAN-B312: "Boy I cant wait to touch all these buttons."
  • Jorge-052: "Touch a button and I break your face."
  • SPARTAN-B312: "..."
  • Jorge-052: "..."
  • SPARTAN-B312: "k"
  • Jun-A266: "NOM NOM NOM NOM NOOOOM."
  • Catherine-B320: "Ah shit, Jun's voice changing medicine wore out,"
  • Jun-A266: "NOM NOM NOM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM."
Levels of the Halo Series   Source
  Halo: Combat Evolved Campaign:   The Pillar of Autumn  |  Halo  |  The Truth and Reconciliation  |  The Silent Cartographer  |  Assault on the Control Room  |  343 Guilty Spark  |  The Library  |  Two Betrayals  |  Keyes  |  The Maw
  Halo: Combat Evolved Multiplayer:   Battle Creek  |  Blood Gulch  |  Boarding Action  |  Chill Out  |  Chiron TL-34  |  Damnation  |  Danger Canyon  |  Death Island  |  Derelict  |  Gephyrophobia  |  Hang 'Em High  |  Ice Fields  |  Infinity  |  Longest  |  Prisoner  |  Rat Race  |  Sidewinder  |  Timberland  |  Wizard
  Halo 2 Campaign:   The Heretic  |  The Armory  |  Cairo Station  |  Outskirts  |  Metropolis  |  The Arbiter  |  The Oracle  |  Delta Halo  |  Regret  |  Sacred Icon  |  Quarantine Zone  |  Gravemind  |  Uprising  |  High Charity  |  The Great Journey
  Halo 2 Multiplayer:   Ascension  |  Backwash  |  Beaver Creek  |  Burial Mounds  |  Coagulation  |  Colossus  |  Containment  |  Desolation  |  District  |  Elongation  |  Foundation  |  Gemini  |  Headlong  |  Ivory Tower  |  Lockout  |  Midship  |  Relic  |  Sanctuary  |  Terminal  |  Tombstone  |  Turf  |  Uplift  |  Warlock  |  Waterworks  |  Zanzibar
  Halo 3 Campaign:   Arrival  |  Sierra 117  |  Crow's Nest  |  Tsavo Highway  |  The Storm  |  Floodgate  |  The Ark  |  The Covenant  |  Cortana  |  Halo
  Halo 3 Multiplayer:   Assembly  |  Avalanche  |  Blackout  |  Citadel  |  Cold Storage  |  Construct  |  Epitaph (Epilogue)  |  Foundry  |  Ghost Town  |  Guardian  |  Heretic  |  High Ground  |  Isolation  |  Last Resort  |  Longshore  |  Narrows  |  Orbital  |  Rat's Nest  |  Sandbox  |  Sandtrap (Sand Tarp)  |  Snowbound (Boundless)  |  Standoff  |  The Pit (Pit Stop)  |  Valhalla
  Halo Wars Campaign:   Alpha Base  |  Relic Approach  |  Relic Interior  |  Arcadia City  |  Arcadia Outskirts  |  Dome of Light  |  Scarab  |  Anders' Signal  |  The Flood  |  Shield World  |  Cleansing  |  Repairs  |  Beachhead  |  Reactor  |  Escape
  Halo Wars Multiplayer:   Barrens  |  Beasley's Plateau  |  Blood Gulch  |  Blood River  |  Chasms  |  Crevice  |  Exile  |  Fort Deen  |  Frozen Valley  |  Glacial Ravine  |  Labyrinth  |  Memorial Basin  |  Pirth Outskirts  |  Release  |  Repository  |  Terminal Moraine  |  The Docks  |  Tundra
  Halo 3: ODST Campaign:   Prepare to Drop  |  Mombasa Streets  |  Tayari Plaza  |  Uplift Reserve  |  Kizingo Boulevard  |  ONI Alpha Site  |  NMPD HQ  |  Kikowani Station  |  Data Hive  |  Coastal Highway
  Halo 3: ODST Firefight:   Alpha Site  |  Chasm Ten  |  Crater  |  Last Exit  |  Lost Platoon  |  Rally Point  |  Security Zone  |  Windward
  Halo: Reach Campaign:   Noble Actual  |  Winter Contingency  |  ONI Sword Base  |  Nightfall  |  Tip of the Spear  |  Long Night of Solace  |  Exodus  |  New Alexandria  |  The Package  |  The Pillair of Autumn |  Lone Wolf
  Halo: Reach Multiplayer:   Anchor 9  |   Battle Canyon  |   Breakneck  |  Breakpoint  |  Boardwalk  |  Boneyard  |  Condemned  |  Countdown  |  Forge World  |   High Noon  |  Highlands  |   Penance  |  Powerhouse  |  Reflection |   Ridgeline  |  Spire  |   Solitary  |  Sword Base  |   Tempest  |   Zealot (Arena Zealot)
  Halo: Reach Firefight:   Beachhead  |  Corvette  |  Courtyard  |  Glacier  |  Holdout  |  Installation 04  |  Outpost  |  Overlook  |  Unearthed  |  Waterfront
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Campaign:   Prologue  |  Dawn  |  Requiem  |  Forerunner  |  Infinity  |  Reclaimer  |  Shutdown  |  Composer  |  Midnight  |  Epilogue
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Multiplayer:   Abandon  |  Adrift  |  Complex  |  Exile  |  Erosion  |  Haven  |  Harvest  |  Impact  |  Longbow  |  Meltdown  |  Pitfall  |  Ragnarok  |  Ravine  |  Shatter  |  Solace  |  Vertigo  |  Vortex  |  Wreckage
I'm not listing the Spartan Ops levels.

SPARTAN-B312: "Boy I cant wait to touch all these buttons."

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