Linda-058 is a robot cyborg Section Three freak SPARTAN-II.


Linda was born in 2511 in Ft. Lauderdale Florida (on Earth, duh). She was selected by Dr. Halsey for the SPARTAN-II program in 2517 after Halsey witnessed her single handedly destroy Disney World (though nobody cared it was destroyed, because Disney sucks). She later went on to prove her sniping skills, when at the age of 8, she hit a target 1 mile away with a sniper rifle. Oh, and did I mention that she took the scope off before the shot? John-117 (the Master Chief for all you n00bs) was impressed, and they soon became friends. She survived augmentation and went on to pwn innies in 2525. Then, she went on to serve in over 120 missions, killing so many Covenant that she was almost tried for war crimes, but was awarded the medal of honor instead. The Covenant dispatched their best turkey Jackal snipers to kill her, but since Jackals suck, she always survived. Then one day, she had a fateful meeting with the one and only Chuck Norris. Chuck tried to make a move on her but she refused. He tried again, and Linda roundhouse kicked him through a steel bulkhead. Chuck Norris was amazed at her roundhouse kick abilities (for she is a mere mortal). He admitted he should have seen it coming and couldn't stay mad at her. Then came the battle of Reach. Linda went with John and James to Gamma station to destroy a ship's computer (because the AI was too lazy to do it themselves). During the mission, Linda was hit in the back of the head by an overcharged Plasma Pistol shot (F***ING JACKALS! That is ironic though). She was soon declared clinically dead by John.After time she was shot again(F***ING JACKALS!lol not so funny second time)

What, you thought she died? yes

Linda was later revived after the battle of the first hula-hoop. As revenge, she destroyed 500 Covenant ships, and just for the heck of it, roudhouse kicked the Master Chief for letting her die (Then raped MC because everyone loves him ;D.) She then went back to Earth, where she found that Disney World had been rebuilt. She roundhouse kicked the Earth so hard that it erased Disney world from the very fabric of reality (If only she could do that now) and destroyed all but one Covenant ship in the fleet that attacked Earth. Later, after the Master Chief left for the second hula-hoop, she and a few other SPARTANs went to Onyx. They then learned the hard way that the planet was made of sentinels, and escaped with Fred and Kelly into Onyx's core. Somehow, she escaped, and is currently suing NBC claiming that Law and Order are the trademarked names of her sniper rifle and right leg.


Linda is a quiet, patient killer sniper. Her sniping skills are unmatched by anyone and possibly anything in the known universe and the sound of her loading her sniper rifle is usually recognized as "kiss your ass goodbye". However, as said above, her roundhouse kick abilities are also impressive. She has an incredible temper, and while this can be a good thing in combat, one drawback is that she hates ODSTs. Once, an ODST tried to ask her out and she got so pissed that she roundhouse kicked him across a ship's cafeteria and then ripped his arms off and used them as a bipod for her sniper rifle. That ODST was given prosthetic arms and later became known as the Rookie (he was so traumatized that he never spoke again). Her hobbies include n00b killing, n00b slaughtering, and killing the flaming ninjas (Bungie's n00b army).and fucking


Common side effects of pissing off Linda-058Edit

While it is never a good idea to piss off any SPARTAN-II, Linda is especially dangerous. Here are some side effects.

  • A brief headache followed by your brain lying beside you on the ground (oh, wait you can't live without that...)
  • Explosive diahrrea. Literally.
  • A slight burning sensation as she covers you in flaming napalm.
  • Your mom.
  • Silenced gunshots (wait, you can't hear those anyways. Nevermind).
  • Or, if she's really mad, she'll sic The Meta on you. Then you're really screwed.
  • Or, you could wake up in a dark room tied to a chair with Linda and the rest of blue team staring at you...Grimly.

Uh-oh, I think she's coming. I better run *silenced gunshots*...

Hello n00bs. this is Linda speaking. Get off this page if you feel like living. If not, I will hunt all of you down. It will be painful, cruel and oh so fun (for me that is). *n00bs scatter*.

days later an army of n00bs arive then get pwned by linda

Linda- 058 Edit

None as the best quick scoper by IGN and best Faze memebr by far. Linda has 360 quick soped since the coventant attacked the flatfaces race lol. Lida haz a sexullay relationshit wit spartan 117 lol. they bang all nite and kill marines in halo 5 lel. Agent locke is a cunt.

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