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Cquote1Master Chief! We seem to have misplaced our car Keyes! Go find him for us!Cquote2
— A Noob
Keyes is the second last level in Halo 1. This level is named after the Commander Shepard captain who got raped here. UNSC was greedy when it came to budget and money that time, so they didn't even bother making a wooden board with the captain's name. This level takes place on the AIDS-ridden Covenant ship of Lies and Retardation.
Keyes level

Flood AND Covenant, This is gonna suck

As we have seen, cortana failed at trying to teleport the way the lightbulb does, so Master Chief falls through a hole in the ship, dure to the bitch's failure because she's focusing on the chief and raping him so she can feel better. Then, out of some hole in the ceiling behind Master Chief, the AIDS pours in and forces Chief to fall down to pools of "coolants" where in the first one you fall into, she rapes MC like you have never seen. He can't even move. Rumors have it she turned into a life-size form and raped him. Took 3 hours for MC to get out of the first pile of coolant. He fights through the ship against Grunts, Hunters, Elites and the AIDS. Throughout the level, Keyes keeps calling Chief through his iPhone saying that Flood were raping transforming him into a Brain Form. When Master Chief finds Keyes, the Chief punches the silly putty abomination that the Flood turned Keyes into for using up his minutes. Then, the Chief punched through the crap and grabbed Keyes' credit card and neural implants.

After that, it's about trying to avoid being spine-raped by the Flood and trying to escape by jumping down onto a banshee and stealing it right in front of an elite.


"LIFE'S A BITCH!!!"

-Master Chief yelling to the elite as he steals the stuka dive bomber and leaves the zealot to get raped.

Levels of the Halo Series   Source
  Halo: Combat Evolved Campaign:   The Pillar of Autumn  |  Halo  |  The Truth and Reconciliation  |  The Silent Cartographer  |  Assault on the Control Room  |  343 Guilty Spark  |  The Library  |  Two Betrayals  |  Keyes  |  The Maw
  Halo: Combat Evolved Multiplayer:   Battle Creek  |  Blood Gulch  |  Boarding Action  |  Chill Out  |  Chiron TL-34  |  Damnation  |  Danger Canyon  |  Death Island  |  Derelict  |  Gephyrophobia  |  Hang 'Em High  |  Ice Fields  |  Infinity  |  Longest  |  Prisoner  |  Rat Race  |  Sidewinder  |  Timberland  |  Wizard
  Halo 2 Campaign:   The Heretic  |  The Armory  |  Cairo Station  |  Outskirts  |  Metropolis  |  The Arbiter  |  The Oracle  |  Delta Halo  |  Regret  |  Sacred Icon  |  Quarantine Zone  |  Gravemind  |  Uprising  |  High Charity  |  The Great Journey
  Halo 2 Multiplayer:   Ascension  |  Backwash  |  Beaver Creek  |  Burial Mounds  |  Coagulation  |  Colossus  |  Containment  |  Desolation  |  District  |  Elongation  |  Foundation  |  Gemini  |  Headlong  |  Ivory Tower  |  Lockout  |  Midship  |  Relic  |  Sanctuary  |  Terminal  |  Tombstone  |  Turf  |  Uplift  |  Warlock  |  Waterworks  |  Zanzibar
  Halo 3 Campaign:   Arrival  |  Sierra 117  |  Crow's Nest  |  Tsavo Highway  |  The Storm  |  Floodgate  |  The Ark  |  The Covenant  |  Cortana  |  Halo
  Halo 3 Multiplayer:   Assembly  |  Avalanche  |  Blackout  |  Citadel  |  Cold Storage  |  Construct  |  Epitaph (Epilogue)  |  Foundry  |  Ghost Town  |  Guardian  |  Heretic  |  High Ground  |  Isolation  |  Last Resort  |  Longshore  |  Narrows  |  Orbital  |  Rat's Nest  |  Sandbox  |  Sandtrap (Sand Tarp)  |  Snowbound (Boundless)  |  Standoff  |  The Pit (Pit Stop)  |  Valhalla
  Halo Wars Campaign:   Alpha Base  |  Relic Approach  |  Relic Interior  |  Arcadia City  |  Arcadia Outskirts  |  Dome of Light  |  Scarab  |  Anders' Signal  |  The Flood  |  Shield World  |  Cleansing  |  Repairs  |  Beachhead  |  Reactor  |  Escape
  Halo Wars Multiplayer:   Barrens  |  Beasley's Plateau  |  Blood Gulch  |  Blood River  |  Chasms  |  Crevice  |  Exile  |  Fort Deen  |  Frozen Valley  |  Glacial Ravine  |  Labyrinth  |  Memorial Basin  |  Pirth Outskirts  |  Release  |  Repository  |  Terminal Moraine  |  The Docks  |  Tundra
  Halo 3: ODST Campaign:   Prepare to Drop  |  Mombasa Streets  |  Tayari Plaza  |  Uplift Reserve  |  Kizingo Boulevard  |  ONI Alpha Site  |  NMPD HQ  |  Kikowani Station  |  Data Hive  |  Coastal Highway
  Halo 3: ODST Firefight:   Alpha Site  |  Chasm Ten  |  Crater  |  Last Exit  |  Lost Platoon  |  Rally Point  |  Security Zone  |  Windward
  Halo: Reach Campaign:   Noble Actual  |  Winter Contingency  |  ONI Sword Base  |  Nightfall  |  Tip of the Spear  |  Long Night of Solace  |  Exodus  |  New Alexandria  |  The Package  |  The Pillair of Autumn |  Lone Wolf
  Halo: Reach Multiplayer:   Anchor 9  |   Battle Canyon  |   Breakneck  |  Breakpoint  |  Boardwalk  |  Boneyard  |  Condemned  |  Countdown  |  Forge World  |   High Noon  |  Highlands  |   Penance  |  Powerhouse  |  Reflection |   Ridgeline  |  Spire  |   Solitary  |  Sword Base  |   Tempest  |   Zealot (Arena Zealot)
  Halo: Reach Firefight:   Beachhead  |  Corvette  |  Courtyard  |  Glacier  |  Holdout  |  Installation 04  |  Outpost  |  Overlook  |  Unearthed  |  Waterfront
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Campaign:   Prologue  |  Dawn  |  Requiem  |  Forerunner  |  Infinity  |  Reclaimer  |  Shutdown  |  Composer  |  Midnight  |  Epilogue
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Multiplayer:   Abandon  |  Adrift  |  Complex  |  Exile  |  Erosion  |  Haven  |  Harvest  |  Impact  |  Longbow  |  Meltdown  |  Pitfall  |  Ragnarok  |  Ravine  |  Shatter  |  Solace  |  Vertigo  |  Vortex  |  Wreckage
I'm not listing the Spartan Ops levels.

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