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Suicide

This is a suicide Grunt.

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Cquote1HOLY SHIIIIIII-Cquote2
— famous marine last words
Cquote1It's alright guys I have an overshieldCquote2
— Famous noob last words
Cquote1In Soviet Russia, last words say YOU!Cquote2
— Random Russian Marine


Sometimes grunts are tired of getting shot in the face, or maybe they just want a deadly hug. So what do they do? They light two plasma granades, stick themselves and run at you like you have an 8 foot dick. Though they scare the shit out of most people, mastercheif simply grabs them and throws them at the nearest brute in a ghost, while lighting another cigarette.

When the Prophets stopped having gay pillow fights and found out they were losing the war, they decided to send in the grunts to do the dirty work of four elites, and then killing themselves in the process, which quickly became a win-win-win situation, since the covenant killed marines, the grunts were tired of being abused in the covenant, and the covenant was rid of the grunts and their infinite amount of gruntiness. The only thing that detracted form the situation was that the brutes didn't have any "play mates" anymore, but nobody really cares about them, so when the Covenant runs out of grunts to send at the marines, the entire Brute species will be decimated by kamikaze attacks.

A Brief HistoryEdit

Back in Halo 1, when nobody had any idea what the fuck was going on, Mastercheif threw a plasma grenade at a single grunt. this grunt was special, so he went to tell all of his friends about it, and they all died in a beautiful explosion. This occourence was seen by a Jackal who was busy jacking off, so he decided to finish and then tell the Covenant about it. However, he was killed by friendly fire before he could tell anyone, but years later another Jackal used this technique and immedately went to the leaders about it.

After promptly shooting him on the spot, the prophets went out to lunch at Brute Hooters, which turned out to be a disgusting idea. So they decided to employ this tactic to their armies to stop the ongoing massacre of the marines. This is how the grunts finally decided to be released from the covenant.

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