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James Cutter

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One of the UNSC leaders in the early 2530's who actually admits marines are retarded. Also known as Cappy by his Marines and Mr. MAC by his enemies and frienemies. Captain Cutter Putter (that's his surname) is also known for launching MAC blasts by hitting golf balls into the air, screaming, "GET IN THE GODDAMN HOLE ALREADY". That annoying-ass time-consuming cooldown? That's him BUYING more golfballs.

Funny-dog-pictures-captain-serious

Cutter's campaign poster

Battle StrategyEdit

ALL UNITS

ALL UNITS

ALL UNITS

ALL UNITS

LOCAL UNITS

ALL UNITS

LOCAL UNITS

ALL UNITS

LOCAL UNITS

LOCAL UNITS

ALL UNITS

ALL URBASEAREBELONGTOUNITS

ALL UNITS

WHERETHEFUCKAREMY UNITS

WETEABAG ALLURUNITS

MAC SPAM BOOMPLOAODOkoaqjriuhuaqjplosion

BUILD ELEPHANT

BUILD ELEPHANT

BUILD ELEPHANT

ODST DROP POD

ODST DROP POD

MAC CANNON

ODST DROP POD

LOCAL UNITS

BUILD ELEPHANT

UNITS, HOW DO THEY WORK?

MAC CANNON

ODST DROP POD

ALL UNITS


-TRANSLATION-Edit

His battle strategy always works. He believes slow ass, troop targets are the best vehicles and always commands his base(s) to make an army of elephants. Then he tells the elephants to charge to a covenant base. Then in the Covenant base, the short cannon-fodder start to panic when they see the army of elephants coming with swift speed. The elephants are coming closer to the base. Coming...coming...wait...wait...wait ... All the Covenant are panicking now and shitting their armor...wait..wait...wait... And then the elephants are at the base. Then, the Covenant base suddenly explodes? Seems like the Covies didn't notice the huge Pelican that landed behind the base and planted a bomb. Anyways, after his death, captains started to degenerate and soon Jacob Keyes was born.

He likes ODSTs for some retarded reason, and likes to drop them in eggshells on your base, and everything must come from orbit. MAC blast? From orbit. ODSTs? From orbit. Trip to Reach to see his cheating wife? From Orbitz. Eggs benedict? From Tartar-Sauce's ass. IN ORBIT. The possible reason for this is that he never gets his ass off that freaky spaceship thing in the sky (It is his lover). He is also known to have EXTREME birth rates at his base. Their motto ? "Their vagina needs YOU!"

It is important to note, that whenever the shit hits the fan, Cutter can call down giant flaming meteors of PWN from orbit. PWNage from the Human Navy.

Characters
UNSC

Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
Other
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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