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AV Johnson
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The Index is an object in every Halo game. It always manages to contradict logic in any way it can. While seeming to be a solid object, it seemingly be transferred into Data...or something. It also has an amazing ability to appear in thin air. This only happens off screen. The Index of 04 was thrown this way and that, before being turned into Data by Cortana. The Index of 05 was apparently thrown out the window when Miranda and Sergeant Johnson left installation 05 with the Arbiter.


While some boring people who don't matter believe the Index is an index of every species with sufficient biomass to sustain the Flood, this is completely wrong, not to mention lame.

In reality, the Index is a flash drive. The way Halo works is there is a program built into the core that scans the contents of whatever is put into it and reacts accordingly. The Indexes of Installations 04 and 05 contain the galaxy's largest known compilation of furry porn. When inserted into the core, the Index is scanned by the program, which is then reminded why everything needs to die. It starts freaking out and unleashes a huge sphere of gruntiness 25,000 light-years in diameter, killing everything and preventing more furry porn from being created. The Indexes "went missing" because Miranda and Cortana are secretly furries and took the flash drives for their own use. This is also the data that Cortana was exposed to for 12 hours on Installation 04. It's why she was freaking out over saving it all throughout First Strike, too.

To get to the Index, you must go through the Library. Too bad it's filled with AIDS. The Library itself is made up of two sections, Fiction and Non Fiction. To get the Index, one must go through these sections and leap onto the beam. The beam is the sperm of Gravemind, but that's not important. Lightbulb will steal it like the little bully he is. Yay you found the Index. Big deal. The Index contains all the info on all the books in the world. Yeah, Forerunners loved books, the nerds. It also contained the DNA of everything else, except Gruntiness, cuz' that's too powerful.

UsesEdit

There are many uses for this Index, including, but NOT limited to

  • Kill all Human life in the galaxy (Recommended)
  • Use as Dildo (Recommended only for Girls Sluts and Whores.)
  • Use as a Sword (Not-Recommended unless you are a Grunt)
  • Stabbing Flood (Inject into Flood, Not Recommeneded unless you want to destroy the Index)
  • Temptation (Hold it over a gap, Thousands of Covenant will walk off the ledge in an attempt to take it)

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