Human
From Gruntipedia
| Respawn in 5...4...3...2...1...
This page needs to be rewritten. Please discuss how it could be improved on its talk page. |
Humans live on the a plant mistakenly called Earth. Every alien bastard knows that there is more water then land. However, it is forgivable as human are renown to have an average I.Q of 60, way below the dumbest grunt in the Covenant of 240. Forerunners, noticing this, decided to save the dimwitted humans from the flood.
Humans have many idea on where they come from. From evolution, to creationism, to Jesus being an alien. One idea had been proven wrong: Evolution. Humans did NOT evolve from monkeys, as the Brutes has been. Modern scientist has figured out a possibility: Some creature that had a sexual organ as a head. This explains teenage boys and older men to constantly think about sex.
Humans, otherwise known as Vermin by the Covenant are a race of... well... fat hairy apes and sex machines. Humans come in many shapes and sizes:
- Avery Johnson (That badass black guy)
- Master Chief (A really cool bastard, what other reason does he have for never showing anyone his face)
- Marines (Useless)
- Marine chicks (Completely useless anywhere outside of the kitchen and bedroom)
- ODST's (a little useful)
- Sgt.johnson (Avery Johnson's uncle's brother's cousin's sister's aunt's friend's boyfriend's daughter's mother's granddad's dog's hideous offspring's growth)
- Gruntipedians (The best)
- Halopedians (Smartasses that ban fun)
- CommanderTony (Once killed thirty Brutes just by pointing his gun at them. And is a legend upon the UNSC Marine Corps.)
- Michael Jackson (Raped three Grunts during the Battle of Installation 05)
- George Bush (Dumbass.)
- Barack Obama (Mr.T's ancestor.)
- Me (I once had a beer with John 117 and the Arbiter. I was in hospital for a month for over exposure to awesome. I came out significantly awesome. Last scan I rated at 87 miliawesomes. Average is 40-60, Chief and the Arbiter a pushing 117)
- Lord Hood (Who was formerly known as "Lord o' da Hood" in his younger years.)
- Chuck Norris the pitiful humans ultimate weapon even stronger than all halo rings combined(it has been record that he roundhouse-kicked 93,808 grunts out of 93,809 in the spring break of '92 and strangled the last one)
- Digital ph33r (a really kickass machinima writer)
- Darth Vader (your worst nightmare, a mix of human and machine, he is known to have destroyed an entire legion of Elites by waving his hand at them. Darth Vader is an exile among the Humans, because one day, he had a duel with Chuck Norris and lost, shaming him and forcing him to betray his brethren and join the Devil(known as the dark side by the humans)
- Rooster Teeth Freelancer powers activate!
- PS3 fanboys (Assholes that have an I.Q. of -1, who do nothing with there live and bash the almighty Xbox 360, they will burn with the Halo haters)
- 360 fanboys (The guys who a have an I.Q. of 1000, who actually play there console, instead of bashing the competition)
- Wii fanboys (Are there any?)
[edit] Appearance
HUMANS KICK ASSCAUSE WE HAVE BLACK GUYS!!!! COVIES SUCK NUTS CAUSE THEIR ALIENS WHO WORSHIP HUMAN ANCEST0RS BUT KILL HUMANS! U FAGS LOL COVIES SUCK DICK
U GUYS R LIKE "LOL LETS TRY TO GET LAD AND MAKE SOME SHITTY WEBSITE ABOUT HOW TEH HUMANS SUCK CAUSE THEY WONT HAVE SE WITH ME, BUT MAYBE ALINES WILL! LIKE TEH GRUNTS AND ELITES! THEY WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME!!""
AND THUS UR SHITTY GAY FUCKING ASSWIPE FAIL INDUCED NONFUnNY NERD SITE WAS BORN FROM THEALIEN CUM AND YOURS MIXED
[edit] Humans in Battle
CHUCK NORRIS
BILLY MAYS
RAPTOR JESUS
MARINES
YOU
YOUR MOM
HUMANS HAVE THE COOLEST WEAPONS CAUSE THEY MAKE AWSOME BLAM BLAM PEW PEW BIP BAP BAM THAT EVERY COCKSUCKING COVIE FEARS CAUSE THEY KNOW TAT HUMANS RIP THROUGH THEM LIKE TISSUE PAPERZ

