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Heretics

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Cquote1There was honor in our Covenant once, and there shall be aga-AGHH!!Cquote2
— Heretic Leader few seconds before and during he got killed by the Arbiter
Cquote1Sweet, I just got myself a quote to say in Halo 3.Cquote2
— The Arbiter referring to the quote above he stole
Cquote1Me break away from lying losersCquote2
— Heretic Grunt


The Heretics were a group of radioactive hair gel breathing Elites and Grunts that broke away from the Covenant. The ironic thing is that most of them were later killed by the Arbiter, who then t-bagged on their faces. The Arbiter didn't have testicles, so he couldn't have had any pleasure so...irony is so confusing. The Heretics should not be in any way similar to the Covenant Separatists in your minds, unless you are an infidel who believes in Poptarts (lulwut?).

OriginsEdit

Epic Grunt

One of the Heretics' epic grunts

The Heretics' leader was no other than Seesaw Re-fume Me, an outcast of the Covenant. He and 5 Heretic Elites and 8 Heretic Grunts were the first people to break from the Covenant. They believed the Covenant was a theocratic dictatorship crap-hole filled with slimy lies, corrupt Gruntiness, and stupid Prophets. They didn't believe in the Great Journey, which is the main reason they're such insane infidels who believe in lies called truth. The Prophets thought it was just a silly rebellion that would easily be brought down with a few nuclear bombs assaults and with the Arbiter. They didn't know that 6 Elites and 8 Grunts could start such a massive organization in a smelly gas mine filled with Grunt farts. The Heretics started mass reproduction and, at the end, they had enough aliens to make the gas mine...sick. They put Plasma Cannons all over the mine to defend it. The Flood was released, spread and flooded around the gas mine before the Arbiter's arrival. The Prophets declared the Flood incident the will of the Forerunners! Though, some Heretic survivors "think" it was because of a drunk Grunt opening the storage room. Either way, though, it's conclusive that the Heretics got owned and no one cares about them anymore.

Religious beliefsEdit

The Hairy-ticks believe that there was honour in the Covenant once. They decide to achieve that by dressing up as gimps and doing the conga all day and wanking to the Drone Queen. Which in anyone's opinion is a near ideal religion. They also utilize the power of magical cloning devices so they can fuck themselves. The only issue with these magical machines is that your clone goes bright blue, does the exact same thing as you at all times and has no physical presents presence. 

But back on the subject of religion, it is said that they worship the Tower of Pimps. 

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