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Halopedia
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Heavy Dildo.
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

BasicsEdit

It's a bigger Needler. Like on the Vampier. That's all, what did you expect?It is attached to gay pride ufos and a lighter version is on those shades the grunts use with all of their gruntiness before brute rip them out rape and eat them and take the big pink guns for themselves, then it explodes. Supposedly good against vehicles (please send evidence of this).

Design ProcessEdit

What went through their little heads at Bungie:

  1. Ooh... Pink!
  2. Coffee
  3. Upsize Needler?
  4. Coffee
  5. How about needler lite?
  6. Too small. Coffee.
  7. So a bigger version of the needler?
  8. Sounds good. Now lets reward ourselves with some Coffee!
  9. Ahh! Heavy Needler!
  10. Yes!!!
  11. Then lets go see if they'll release us now
  12. DID I MENTION COFFEE????
  13. I know! It makes coffee done can we be released yet?

Bungie eventually released these poor, poor people, whom they took off the street (and sent them back) after they improved its list of absolutely crap weaponry.the design process took about half an hour, mainly being coffee breaks, so you can see why its such a crap gun.

Weapons
UNSC
Melee Weapons: Kitchen Knife | Japanese Butter Knife | Taser Stick

Handguns: Comfortable Pistol | Another Comfortable Pistol | WTF no scope? | M6C/Suck em' | God's Sidearm | Safety Mode On | Trusty Sidearm | Trusty Sidearm 2: Gradius | Assassination Pistol | Carbine Pistol | Silenced Pistol | Orbital Airstrike

Automatic & Semi-Automatic Weapons: Bullet Hose | Silent Bullet Spitter | Insult to Rifles | Revised Insult to Rifles | Chronologically Confusing insult to rifles | The insult to rifles that actually kicks ass | Bee-Arr | Bullet Spammer | Another insult to rifles | Large Bullet Hose

Other: HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Campergun | Noob Obliterator | Crude Thumper rip-off | Supersonic Rail Exploder | Exploding Cake Detonator | Kill The Hydra

Grenades: Damn, no stickies | Bang Grenade | Ear Bleeder | "I embrace y'all with napalm..."

Covenant
Melee Weapons: Energy Shank | Hot Poker | Death Stick | Energy Shiv | Gravy Hammer | Monkey Fist | Monkey Shank

Other: Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Overheater | Noobler | Larger Noobler | Long range Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Vacuum Quadlazer | Jelly Launcher | Semtex Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box

Heavy Weapons: Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Death impersonated | Godly Plasma Rifle | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Hax Gun | Smaller Hax Gun | Derp Gun | Magic Grenade Thrower

Forerunner
The Quadlazer | Zapper | Tracer Rifle | Yellow Light Spammer | Campergun's Retarded Brother | Triforce Gun | Promethean Glory | Forcefield | Bee Grenade

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