For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on The Maw, wait....
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!
Cquote1Why the fuck are we blowing up the halo again? Didn't we do this two games ago?Cquote2
— Master Chief asking a good question
Cquote1Cuse I Said so and unless you dont wanna get this for a week you gonna do it and YOUR GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!!!Cquote2
— Cortana acting like a bitch...Again.

Plot Edit

After Master Chief saves the blue stripper, he is ready to blow up the big ring thingy again. He and the Arbiturd approach the Ark and are attacked by the Flood dudes. When they get inside they meet 343 Guilty Spark with the big ass lazar. The B-Ball shoots Johnson while quoting "I'm firin' meh lazor bitch"

Rtas 'Vadum: Hey Arby I found a nice Youtube video

Arbiter: How? There is no Wi-Fi on covenant ships

Rtas 'Vadum: I'm using your laptop. Oops I got yours banned

Arbiter: What! I'm gonna turn you into a half-ass and so help me I wi--

Rtas cuts communication

Master Chief: Why the fuck are we blowing up Halo again? I thought we did this two games ago

Cortana: Cause I told you to

Sgt Johnson: I parked the frigate by the Control Room

Master Chief:I have a dropship

Sgt Johnson: Whatever jackass

MC's cell phone rings

Master Chief: Yo!

Rookie: Theres a new Halo game called Halo: 3 ODST

Master Chief: Really? What armor do I have?

Rookie: You ain't in it"

Master Chief: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MC loses control of the dropship and crashes than Arby gets mad and slaps him in the face

Rookie: I am the main playable character

Arbiter: What the hell man?! I spent weeks on that paint job

Some time later ( just like last time I dont know who is in which time zone so I'm not listing all 75)

Master ChIef: I'm not gonna let that game come out

After a few minutes of fighting zombies from left4dead they reach the top of the building, wow, an advance civilization forgot to put in a elevator so they had to walk on ledges

Sgt Johnson: Oracle where are you ? Use your lazer dammit!

Guilty Spark:You're the one that has infinite ammo

Sgt Johnson: You are an asshole you know that right ?

They reach the control room

Sgt Johnson: I'm not gonna rape her

Cortana is now in Sgt's hands

Oracle: Firing the Red Ring of DOOM will destroy Halo: ODST!

Sgt Johnson: Take it like a man

Guilty Spark: It will destroy my chance of getting Recon!

Sgt Johnson: Your mom!

Guilty Spark: What ya say about my mamma ? Your mom is so fat that when she has diabetes NASA thought it was astroids!

Sgt Johnson:"Your mamma is so fat that she was AROUND the house!

Guilty Spark: Your mamma is so fat that she shifts the earth's axis everytime she breathes!

Sgt Johnson: Yor mamma is so fat that she can touch the moon by sitting!

Guilty Spark: Your mamma is so fat she doesn't need internet because she's already world wide!

Sgt Johsnon: Your mamma is so fat when she jumped in the water the water jumped out!

Guilty Spark: Your mamma is so fat she doesn't have nightmares because they're afraid of her!

Sgt Johnson: Your mamma is so fat her wedding ring is a Halo!

Guilty Spark: Your mamma is-- um Yo mamma is- oh just fuck it all!

Spark kills Johnson then commits suicide

Master Chief: K lets end stop ODST from releasing

Rookie: Nnnnooooooooooooooooo!!!! Jeez you are one mother-

MC runs over Rookie which is good cuase he is a noob which is why he never talks in ODST. When the Master Chief sees a lonely Grunt he approachs it.

Grunt: You're a ffaagg WWWAAA ! You were kidnap into the military WAAAAAAA!

Master Chief: Take that motherfucker!" *shotgun blast* "I told I told you!*shotgun blast* Don't-*shotgun blast* fuck with me! You hear me!! Man thats some peice of fuck there*shotgun blast !

Has anyone ever seen a Grunt in peices due to multiple gunshots wounds ? I just wondered cuase I'm looking at one now. Is that Gruntiness I see leaking out of his tank? 'Following the annoying lightbulb's wishes he activates Halo, gets on a frigate and went to portal. The hulahoop fires while MC is in slipspace and causes him to be stranded in space while everyone else dies.


After watching 2 hours of porn on the halo and its instant internet access they decide to leave in a random warthog. The porn however infected the halo causing it to explode. The two heroes escaped onto the space ship thing. Too bad master chief and the blue chick were left behind and no one decided to even check for them. Jackasses.

Levels of the Halo Series   Source
  Halo: Combat Evolved Campaign:   The Pillar of Autumn  |  Halo  |  The Truth and Reconciliation  |  The Silent Cartographer  |  Assault on the Control Room  |  343 Guilty Spark  |  The Library  |  Two Betrayals  |  Keyes  |  The Maw
  Halo: Combat Evolved Multiplayer:   Battle Creek  |  Blood Gulch  |  Boarding Action  |  Chill Out  |  Chiron TL-34  |  Damnation  |  Danger Canyon  |  Death Island  |  Derelict  |  Gephyrophobia  |  Hang 'Em High  |  Ice Fields  |  Infinity  |  Longest  |  Prisoner  |  Rat Race  |  Sidewinder  |  Timberland  |  Wizard
  Halo 2 Campaign:   The Heretic  |  The Armory  |  Cairo Station  |  Outskirts  |  Metropolis  |  The Arbiter  |  The Oracle  |  Delta Halo  |  Regret  |  Sacred Icon  |  Quarantine Zone  |  Gravemind  |  Uprising  |  High Charity  |  The Great Journey
  Halo 2 Multiplayer:   Ascension  |  Backwash  |  Beaver Creek  |  Burial Mounds  |  Coagulation  |  Colossus  |  Containment  |  Desolation  |  District  |  Elongation  |  Foundation  |  Gemini  |  Headlong  |  Ivory Tower  |  Lockout  |  Midship  |  Relic  |  Sanctuary  |  Terminal  |  Tombstone  |  Turf  |  Uplift  |  Warlock  |  Waterworks  |  Zanzibar
  Halo 3 Campaign:   Arrival  |  Sierra 117  |  Crow's Nest  |  Tsavo Highway  |  The Storm  |  Floodgate  |  The Ark  |  The Covenant  |  Cortana  |  Halo
  Halo 3 Multiplayer:   Assembly  |  Avalanche  |  Blackout  |  Citadel  |  Cold Storage  |  Construct  |  Epitaph (Epilogue)  |  Foundry  |  Ghost Town  |  Guardian  |  Heretic  |  High Ground  |  Isolation  |  Last Resort  |  Longshore  |  Narrows  |  Orbital  |  Rat's Nest  |  Sandbox  |  Sandtrap (Sand Tarp)  |  Snowbound (Boundless)  |  Standoff  |  The Pit (Pit Stop)  |  Valhalla
  Halo Wars Campaign:   Alpha Base  |  Relic Approach  |  Relic Interior  |  Arcadia City  |  Arcadia Outskirts  |  Dome of Light  |  Scarab  |  Anders' Signal  |  The Flood  |  Shield World  |  Cleansing  |  Repairs  |  Beachhead  |  Reactor  |  Escape
  Halo Wars Multiplayer:   Barrens  |  Beasley's Plateau  |  Blood Gulch  |  Blood River  |  Chasms  |  Crevice  |  Exile  |  Fort Deen  |  Frozen Valley  |  Glacial Ravine  |  Labyrinth  |  Memorial Basin  |  Pirth Outskirts  |  Release  |  Repository  |  Terminal Moraine  |  The Docks  |  Tundra
  Halo 3: ODST Campaign:   Prepare to Drop  |  Mombasa Streets  |  Tayari Plaza  |  Uplift Reserve  |  Kizingo Boulevard  |  ONI Alpha Site  |  NMPD HQ  |  Kikowani Station  |  Data Hive  |  Coastal Highway
  Halo 3: ODST Firefight:   Alpha Site  |  Chasm Ten  |  Crater  |  Last Exit  |  Lost Platoon  |  Rally Point  |  Security Zone  |  Windward
  Halo: Reach Campaign:   Noble Actual  |  Winter Contingency  |  ONI Sword Base  |  Nightfall  |  Tip of the Spear  |  Long Night of Solace  |  Exodus  |  New Alexandria  |  The Package  |  The Pillair of Autumn |  Lone Wolf
  Halo: Reach Multiplayer:   Anchor 9  |   Battle Canyon  |   Breakneck  |  Breakpoint  |  Boardwalk  |  Boneyard  |  Condemned  |  Countdown  |  Forge World  |   High Noon  |  Highlands  |   Penance  |  Powerhouse  |  Reflection |   Ridgeline  |  Spire  |   Solitary  |  Sword Base  |   Tempest  |   Zealot (Arena Zealot)
  Halo: Reach Firefight:   Beachhead  |  Corvette  |  Courtyard  |  Glacier  |  Holdout  |  Installation 04  |  Outpost  |  Overlook  |  Unearthed  |  Waterfront
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Campaign:   Prologue  |  Dawn  |  Requiem  |  Forerunner  |  Infinity  |  Reclaimer  |  Shutdown  |  Composer  |  Midnight  |  Epilogue
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Multiplayer:   Abandon  |  Adrift  |  Complex  |  Exile  |  Erosion  |  Haven  |  Harvest  |  Impact  |  Longbow  |  Meltdown  |  Pitfall  |  Ragnarok  |  Ravine  |  Shatter  |  Solace  |  Vertigo  |  Vortex  |  Wreckage
I'm not listing the Spartan Ops levels.

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