Halo
From Gruntipedia
God's personal anti-son-of-a-bitch-machine
- — Mr. T
- Halo, it's "Divine Wind" will rush through the stars, yadayada, salvation
- — Prophet of Mercy on Halo's "power"
- WORT WORT WORT!
- — elite after discovering halo's control room
- Halo halo haloooo!
- — Beyonce singing the sacred song before activating halo
- I don't think we should turn it on...
- — Marine at control room
- I think we should...
- — Marine at control room
- I think you should shut up...
- — Marine at control room
- No think of it as the biggest team kill ever!!
- — Marine at control room
- Now that I think about it we should press the button
- — Marine at control room
- OH! IMMA THINKIN OF PRESSIN' DIS BUTTON DAT SAYS "PRESS DIS BUTTON TA ACTIVATE HALO"
- — A n00b about to activate Halo
- Thats no moon.......its a F$%^ing ripoff of the death star times 7
- — Obi wan
- Why Chief?! Why!!!!???
- — a Grunt screaming till death
The Hula-hoops, sometimes referred to as Halos, were seven massive onion rings built by the Forerunners to contain and stop the spread of Aids throughout the Galaxy.
Known Hula-hoops are:
- Alpha Hula-hoop, also known as Installation 04.
- Second Alpha Hula-hoop, also known as Installation 04 (II).
- Delta Hula-hoop, also known as Installation 05.
- And Pepsi Hula-hoop, which was a flavour just too weird for the Universe to endure.
- The Coke Hula-hoop is exactly the same as the Pepsi Hula-hoop, but nobody realizes it.
- The Fanta Hula-hoop, which was something entirely different.
Hula-Hoops are known to be frequently stopped or asploded by people named Master Chief. Sometimes, the Hula-Hoops are started by people named Johnson, and make the Hula-Hoops explode, leaving the smallest amount of time for people named Master Chief and The Arbiter to get off the Hula-Hoop and leave the one with the name Master Chief floating in space and the one named The Arbiter on a planet called Earth.
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[edit] Hula Hoop's (Halo's) Design
- One ring rule them all... That is a good idea! Joe can we build it?
- — A forerunner after watched the Lord of the rings. That is the moment when the Halos were designed.
The giant hula-hoop thingies are big rings in space with grass and trees and stuff on the inside. It isn't known what they are made of, but many top scholars suspect they are made of rubber, like a big rubber band. Activating the Halo Hula-hoop will result in it being shot like a rubber band. This would result in a giant rubber band flying through the galaxy, destroying all the planets in its path. The giant hula-hoop things are suspected to be about eleven Grunts tall. And seventeen Grunts Wide, thus making them 'non-hoopie', but more 'ovallie', but seeing as they are probably made of rubber, nobody knows for sure.
It is often unrealized, but the Hula Hoops are a danger to seafaring people. That's because ships can sail over the edge of the Hula Hoop and fall down to somewhere. So it seems that the old, dead Europeans that believed that if you sail too far, you would fall over Earth's (or, in this case, Hula-Hoop's) edge were actually right.
[edit] The Great Journey
It is believed that when the halos are activated, a giant grunt will come into existence and use them to hula hoop, cementing their awesomeness and also putting it to the use described by Mr. T in the first quote at the top of this page. Meaning that all sentient life in the galaxy would be destroyed.
Some Great Journey.
[edit] Known Hula Hoops
- Alpha Hula Hoop
- Delta hula hoop
- Your mom (cause she's that fat)
- Your mom's wedding ring
- Joe Biden
[edit] Other rumored uses
-forerunner 'vibrating rings'
-goalposts for 'gravsmack' a sport in which gravity hammers are used to hit objects across the universe.
-targets for marines' target practice.
-microwaves
-flashlights
-hair removal
-checkpoints for space races
-overcooked lunch that have been left too long
-pregnate all women in the galaxy (343 GS has it too but it didn't work out with Sarge Johnson)
