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- Soulja Boy'll kill anybody for no reason!
- — Soulja Boy after shooting some grunt who was walking out of Krogers with his wife.
Soulja Boy the Jackal is an ultra-powerful turkey that shit out planet Jupiter (the pie planet). This is his story...
Early Life Edit
Soulja boy the Jackal was born in some dumpster of the slums of that pathetic planet Teash. His mom was some stripper turkey who had some fun with a random customer and so Soulja Boy was conceived and born at the hospital called "Club Errera". From there, he left the hole and went on to live in another hole called Halopedia...
Soulja Boy had aspirations of becoming a hip hop star. All he did all day was sing and make up beats about how life was full of haters and god and other stuff. He submitted his records to numerous companies but none wanted his songs. One day though, a record company named Brute Beats LOL accepted his songs and they became a hit.
He quickly rose to fame by his ability to produce noise from his mouth that sounded like someone gargling shit. His parents wished for him to become a great warrior among the Covenant forces, but no, Soulja Boy you see, wanted to become a legendary hip-hop artist. So he went to many recording stations. At first, he was an Epic Phail but soon, he rose to the top. As he rose through the ranks he gained many Hatas' who dissed his ability to talk garbage about the Prophet of Haters. The Prophet of Haters heard of this and, outraged, he sent The Beast against Soulja boy. The resulting battle ended in a huge discharge of Gruntiness that blew up New Mombassa. He was very tired and just as he was going to pass out, a Brute offered him a ride home in his car.
The brute, in fact, was the infamous Destroyer of Worlds. The brute said, "you douchebag, I would smite you right here if I weren't so drunk on Sprite!"
Soulja Boy shot the brute with a needler and crapped in mouth when he was dead. Then Soulja Boy killed a three-year-old, stole his tricicle, and went home to da hood.
There were many haters in his hood. All sorts of people began deficating, rolling it into balls, and chucking it at Soulja Boy. Soulja Boy did make it home though and there he took a huge dump and drank half a gallon of Yahoo chocolate milk.
The Great Stuffing of '85 Edit
Shortly after Tartarsauce had a tantrum and demanded 125,678 billion Jackals to be stuffed for his eating pleasure. Hordes of fluffy things on steriods rounded up Jackals and Soulja Boy barely escaped by "supersoaking dose fluffs" from his balcony. Eventually the big fluffballs found him cowering in his moms bed. They took him prisoner to the Prophet of Lies' pimp chamber.
Battle with the Prophet of Lies Edit
When the Prophet of Lies came to give him a spanking, Soulja Boy began pulling off Matrix moves (except cooler) and bustin' a whole bunch of LUDA' on the Prophet of Lies. Lies retalliated with a CRAPTAIN PUNCH! Soulja Boy couldn't stand the force of the punch and he was knocked out.
Soulja Boy woke up later in his room for the Prophet of Lies had mercy upon him. From that day forth, he vowed to appreciate his pathetic life and crap on all the people he killed with his music.
He ended up becoming a best-seller with his hit singles: Crank Dat Kwarshie Grunt, Turkey Walk, Bang Dat Fattie, I am Gay, Let Me Snipe Em', Soldier Girl, Kiss me Through Whatever Jackals Use as Phones, Fuck dem Elites, Pedo-Brute, Deez Nuts, and Crank dat Wank
His Legacy EditSoulja Boy was taken that even the biggest dumbass in the universe can make his way in this crappy universe and be successful and so we soulute you Soulja Boy. Also, he had a son, Menac' Potat'ee.