Zaeed Massan'ee

Squid Faced mercenary Zaeed Massan'ee

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Zaeed Massan'ee was a Leet mercenary who was really cool and doesn't afraid of anything.

Covenant ServiceEdit

Massan'ee served as a Sangheili Ranger for a few years. After running out of jet fuel in the middle of space a few times and getting stranded for hours on end, however, he decided he hated it. He retired from the Covenant military, and settled down, having many children, who all are of absolutely no importance whatsoever. He had an ass load of elite Elite training though, so he decided to put it to good use as a mercenary.

Mercenary ExtraordinaireEdit

He did a lot of freelance work for various crimelords and pissed off Grunts. Kwarsh once hired him to kill a dude for stealing his sandwich. Often, he did work for the Prophets, but that soon ended. He became a fugitive after he failed to successfully accomplish a top secret mission for the Testicle Chins, which was to kill Thee Pi Lourrd and unlock the magic of maps.

Battle With Pie LordEdit

Massan'ee stealthily boarded blasted his way onto Explosive Diarrhea, Thee Pi Lourrd's ship. He walked into the Bridge, and saw the gargantuan Hunter. They engaged in Mortal Kombat mortal combat, and Pie Lord came out as the winner. The elite Elite escaped, however. Sadly, he could not return to society, as he had failed in his mission. Bummer, eh? No, not really, because nobody cares about him.


He crashed on the couch of his only remaining ally, Kwarsh. They had a falling out, however, when it was discovered that Massan'ee ate the last Hot Pocket. Friendless and abandoned, he did the only thing he could do: Retire and open up a sports bar. He ran it for a while, and later was murdered brutally in an epic battle with the Pie Lord.


Chuck NorrisCompute-whoreBadass MofoJohnson's BitchFlood Beach Ball1000x better than Captain KeyesWarthog Guy

Covenant/Covenant Separatist
E.T. Gone BadTartar SauceArbiturdRats in a Vacuum|Nothing's Wrong.Used ta' Go H.A.M. Over Leather-hamThat guy named after what made Jessi Slaughter cry.Prophet of SagginessBoss Battle #1Prophet of PimpsFemale Prophets Exist??Suck'a ZombieDem D-BagsThe Ugly TurkeyDa Crusadaz|Worms in your PieMORE worms in your pie...Gawd 'Allmyghtee
LightbulbCaptain Stinky BreathKing of GruntsYapyap the FirstAnother grunt with the Yapyap name"Pope" Yapyap IIITIDDLESThat Whiney Assfaced Jerk

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