— Prophet of Eye Cancer, on anything
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Prophet of eye cancer

The Prophet of eye cancer sitting on his drug throne.

The low Prophet of Eye Cancer, formerly known as The Minister of Toasters, is one hell of a dipshit, he is insane.

He is famous for many projects, such as founding Extreme Crap Wrestling, and the Grunt version of the show jackass.


Eye Cancer's birth name is Krusty Gigglebuns, he is THE BIGGEST SMOKER AND DRUG ADDICT AND ALCHOHOLIC EVER! He was born on the planet known as Horseflower. He lived a peaceful life playing Grifball with other Testicle Chins who only god knows how became members of the Covenant. When he was 8, his Moms mysteriously dissapeared, but he didn't care because he smoked too much weed to remember he even had an ass.

How he joined the Alien terroristsEdit

He had a girlfriend when he was 12, she was an ugly slut, but none of them cared, they both loved each other. When they were on their first date, some Prophet arrived at the suburb in a flying Diarhea Ice-Cream van to sign up aliens for the Covenant, Eye Cancer was interested, so he registered. His slutty girlfriend however was not allowed to sign up due to having the feral stage of AIDS, she had to be left behind, Eye Cancer accepted this fate.

His heart was broken, literally. The Prophet who hired him got some medics to revive him, he came back to life when the surgeons replaced his heart with a microwave. He leaped out of his bed and fired exploding diarhea at a medic because he hasn't been on a toilet for 36 hours. When the Flying Diarhea Ice-cream van arrived on High Charity, Eye cancer was sent to Prophet school, where he learned how to be a douchebag, how to fight, how to be a politician and how to be old.

After 5 fortnights he learned all the shit and became the Minister of Toasters.....

Works in the CovenantEdit

He had a pure hatred for Humans, so he invented many Covenant tactics, like punching a marine lots of times just to see how much blood could splat, then drinking it with beer. He even fought the noobs face to face, hand to hand, gun to gun. He was Otha' Letham's go to guy for mission intel.

Eye Cancer has also contributed to Covenant politics, introducing many laws, such as "Violators will be violated".

Promotion to ProphetEdit

During the Fall of Bleach, there was an election, Eye Cancer's rival was The Minister of Your mom.

Eye Cancer succsesfully won because he took more drugs than his rival, he was now the Low Prophet of Eye Cancer. His rival committed suicide 1 second after he lost.

Trivia and shit he didEdit

  • Eye Cancer gets nuclear boners
  • He smokes, takes drugs and drinks 24/7
  • He invented Extreme Crap Wrestling and the Grunt version of Jackass
  • Right now, he is 582 years old (He's been around since the beggining of the world.)
  • The Minister of Your mom played CuntGrifball with him
  • He assists Otha' and his squad
  • He's full of shit!
  • His throne ejects cigarettes
  • His favorite weapon is the Plasma Pistol
  • He invented Underaged Intercourse Whore/20 for Grunts, where all the good little Grunts can teabag each other after classes at Nipple Academy, but before their parents get home.
  • He's considered a low prophet because if he was considered a high one then that would be two facts in one title.

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