| This article is under the protection of the GCI|
The Prophet of Truth likes this article, therefore it means it sucks and/or contains real, boring information. You will help Gruntipedia by others better and funnierand making this page and
- WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?
- — The Prophet Of Truth on Pawnee'Noobsee
- It's Your mother Biatch
- — Pawnee to Truth
- OH YES BABY !
- — Miranda to Pawnee when they have sex o_0
Pawnee'Noobsee is a Straight Up OG off the West Coast with Eminem and Fiddy Cent. Okay maybe that part's not true, but WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? Anyway the reason Pawnee'Noobsee is famous is because he was part of the only Elite group of the Rucking Fetard Spec Ops squad: The Big Damn Heroes.
Big Damn HeroesEdit
"okay to have the job you have to beat the living SHIT out of students and be be HIGH!" - Qualifications.
this squad was in the pillar bullshit army as the ONLY ELITE SPEC OPS SQUAD IN THE HUMAN ARMY! (ahem racism). well the fuckwits were VERY FUCKING BADASS!!!!!!!! but no MC Hammer :( WHY??????????!!!!! Because Pawnee said "HEY YO BITCH GET THE FUQ OUTTA MAH HOOD, ILL FUCK YOU UP BOI" to MC Hammer.
BADASSES THAT ARE IN IT:Edit
- Fartee' Faec (Leader of Gruntiness)
- Pawnee'noobsee (Founder, Second in command, Leader of the Stealth soldias)
- Suckmee' Ballsee (Ma'fuckin VIP)
- Lonlee 'Islandee (VIP and 'LIKE A BOSS!' Boss)
- Robert Wadlow (Leader of Tall People)
- Vanilee'Iciee (Leader of Wiggers)
- Givem Ee Pancakes (approved by pawnee)
- Professor Dickface McChunchy (Leader of Smartasses)
- Bubzap (Leader of Life, Medic)
- Globs'ee Blobs'ee (Leader of Snot Armor, Ossoona)
- Dat' Assee (Leader of Punching)
- Grim' Reap'eer (Leader of Killing Stuff)
- Maddi'slimanee (Leader of Insanity)
How the Big Damn Heroes was formedEdit
Once upon a timmy, the Big Damn Heroes which only had Fartee and Suckmee in it at the time and was working with the "HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING", was sent on a mission by them to watch the whore houses on Teash. They were scarred so much by it that when the flood showed up, they joined them. But then a Pelican and Wasps came out of nowhere and killed all the flood, Fartee and Suckmee were happy until they realized is was humans. Then the humans took Fartee and Suckmee into captivity, where they were also holding Lonee'Islandee. They got all three of them high on some really scary drugs, then beat them up while they were high. After approximatly Oh-My-Gawd-Who-The-Hell-Cares (plural time incriment) Lonlee, Fartee, and Suckmee were ready to serve the humans. And they were only minor elites at the time so they were pussies, that's why they cracked (OR COCAINED LOL) at all.
Enough about the Big Damn Heroes, what was Pawnee like before he joined?Edit
Pawnee had a really chillax life his mom was dead at child birth and his dad was a pimp so HE WAS FUCKIN RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at the age of 1 pawnee had to join Nipple Academy due his dads HO'S always said "WHERES YA FUCKIN BALLS?!"
but before he left his dad gave him a letter that said "if there's a kid called Otha, teach him control his Gruntiness gruntiness. also HE'S YA FUCKIN COUSIN!!!!!!!!!!!" (DU DU DUH)!
Teaching at nipple academyEdit
pawnee was kicked into the class. everyone laughed as he was small with no armor that got him PISSED!
so he RIPPED EVERYONES HEAD WHOEVER LAUGHED AND SENT THEIR ASS TO HELL ! Then he killed the teacher so he instantly turned into a 16 year old.
then he became a teacher in otha's class and kept him safe <3. as he was his cousin he was always kept high to keep his gruntiness in tip top condition (but due to this otha is very unhealthy but SO WAHT?!). but due to his care for otha Noobs called him G4Y and that got him SUPER PISSED! he killed bout 1/2 half the noob population in 3 seconds Kwarsh said "DAMN!!!!!!!!! WE can use him to kill Thee Pi Lourrd in that hole we shit in". (enough about that).
after Otha' grows upEdit
after Oth'a grew up, he found his bitch (Kesi). Pawnee had his work done he returned home but his dad said " OH NOT THIS DICK AGAIN PAWNEE GO AND JOIN THE THE PURPLE ARMY AND DON'T COME BACK"
then Pawnee put "a bullet to da brain" in his Dad (he was a fucker anyways) and joined the covenant.
in DA HOODEdit
now with no parents his home changed into a brothel business by him but eventually left it running by a friend while he joined the covenant out of boredom.
he was assigned by Prophet Of Truth to be a bodyguard for Prophet of Haters while he ran a brothel business so he got a present which was run the computer of haters ship with a black metallic chair! he mainly got emails from miranda about her becoming a pornstar you know today. one day around the time of Halo 3 he left
haters and joined the covenant separists out of boredom again.
in da human hoodEdit
pawnee then joined and created THE BIG DAMN HEROES squad with otha being da leader ofda pack.
pawnee personally made himself a dark phantom for the squad to suit the biggest bad asses the elites ever had! it has:
- the usual phantom tri plasma cannon
- wraith cannons on its underside
- plasma grenade launchers that are modified to explode upon touching things with an active nerve system
- has an ass gun that shoots 5 shots of purple stuff in one go.
- has the usual jackal mounted turrets on its opening and closing sides
- invincible armor taken from Spirits
- has anti air cannons that come from an opening and closing roof after it lands.
- a jacussi
- one of those super fast electronic showers.
- a big bath
- a swimming pool
- a library
- an armory
- a huge garage with every covenant vechicle in history
- a Catch-a-ride machine ( if you dont know what it is GO GET BORDERLANDS2!)
- and shitloads of 1st class bedrooms with king sized beds
- Buttcheeks with their own buttcheeks.
due to this it is 14 times larger than a normal phantom.
currently pawnee lives with otha and juhii and blogs on pcs, listen to music REALLY LOUDLY (woke up the neighbourghs 35698723178590354433332331337 times) he is now disguised as madeon (a dj).
pawnee is incredibly rich. richer than bill gates the reasons why:
- he's a pimp from his fathers business after he shot him in the head.
- he's Miranda Keyes manager.
- he's a teacher at Nipple Academy.
- he's a dj.
- owns a multi-species clothes store called " Seasonal secrets"
- invented and directs grunt boxing.
Shit he didEdit
PiccoloPawnee taught GohanOtha' to control his half blood SaiyanGrunt power when the half Grunt was a boy.
- he killed his class teacher turning him 19 indefinately.
- thought otha gruntiness.
- killed his dad.
- tunred miranda keyes into a pornstar as you know.
- impressed kwarsh by killing half the noob pouplation in 3 seconds by calling him gay (pawnee is straight bitches!).
- created twitter (not joking).
- created THE BIG DAMN HEROES squad.
- pissed of otha's neighboughrs by waking them up 35698723178590354433332331337 times via DJ'ING.
- created the BIG DAMN HEROES PHANTOM.
- invented the phrase "GO FUCK YOURSELF!".
- also made the phrase " BITCH PLEASE!"
- CALLED YOU A WHORE
- SHAGGED YO MOMA
- lied about the phrase above cause she ugly.
- painted his armor black making him BOSS IN DA NIGHT!
- Ate Givem Ee Pancakes's pancakes and made him go full retard for 9 fuckin days!
and thats it what a mouthful!
- he's 19 years old indefinately
- he was a ranger during his years as a 16 year old
- he owns the Elitematic album
- he's a dj
- he created grunt boxing: a very violent version of boxing with grunts using as much gruntiness as they have.
- he has a collection of all elite armor ever
- he has a collection of all covenant vechicles eva!
- hes the second most grunty elite due to his epicly huge gruntiness.
- due to him being a separist, his new name is Pawn' Noobs.
- he is miranda keyes' best friend and friend with benefits o_0.
- when he heard of miranda keyes' death he cried like hell but after 5 seconds he got up from his couch and brought her back to life (if your gonna ask why read the quote above).
- he enjoys songs made by skrillex, wiley and teamheadkick from machinima.
- He is a Black Zealot (Just as fucked up as This Retard) But hey, the armors cool. ;)