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Cquote1Thel Halsey the Truth! I do not Regret this decision!Cquote2
— Lettuce Prime
Lettuce

A real and un-edited picture in Lettuce's human form

Lettuce Prime is a piece of lettuce that has a small amount of gruntiness. He thoroughly enjoys puns, and he tries to stalk people as a hobby. He is also beautiful.

Early Life Edit

A head of lettuce

Lettuce's high school graduation photo

Lettuce was born to Spinach (his mother) and Cabbage (his father) a long time ago. Biologically, he is impossible: he can change forms between human-ish, and a head of lettuce. He grew up as a lonely stalk of lettuce (because nobody wanted to be friends with lettuce, and he insisted on not changing to human form), until one fateful day he made a fool of himself in front of Macmine Shpepwunderfluff. It was a turning-point in his life and so he decided to fight in the Human-Covenant War. It was here that his mission commander discovered that he was beautiful.
A bunch of lettuce

Lettuce Prime and his family

Role in the Human-Covenant War Edit

Lettuce Prime fought in the Human-Covenant War on the human side. Nobody knows or gives a crap about what he did in the early parts of the Human-Covenant War. But, his deeds in the later parts were well-known. He started out with nothing but an M6D, but faced endless hordes of Covenant. He was a fool and thus underestimated the power of the pistol, and decided not to even use it. Lettuce then got into a fistfight with seventeen Sangheili. After killing one barehanded, he decided to use the M6D. He picked up the marvelous pistol, and smote all of the Covenant that faced him (except for the Grunts. They ran off to live to fight another day). He became rich and famous for this victory. Many books were also written on his beauty.

A piece of nasty lettuce

Lettuce on his death bed

Later Life Edit

Lettuce Prime then settled down with Macmine Shpepwunderfluff's sister and had a large family! He became really famous, and his children and grandchildren were respected because they were related to the head of Lettuce that destroyed a Covenant battalion. As for Lettuce, he died of old age (see left). (He was still very beautiful.)

Trivia Edit

  • Lettuce was incredibly beautiful.
  • He is the Gruntiest lettuce to live.

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