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A Girl is a female of any species...
General disclaimer: This article is mainly written by Gruntipedia's main female editor. It is not meant to offend anybody. If it does, well, screw you (then again, she'd probably rather not).
A girl, by definition, is a member of the gender opposite of most of the Gruntipedia population (approximately .02% of the total population). These individuals are known to have their own motives and are prone to mood swings. They have very harsh tempers. Some infamous females include:
•Hillary Clinton (maybe)
•Hermione Granger from Harry Potter
•Princess Peach (with her giant mallet)
Exposure to Girls in Halo MediaEdit
A girl that frequents the Halo media is rare, and these beings are the scariest of them all. They occasionally suffer from n00biness, yet they only have that problem when they actually are newbies. This can only be cured with frequent exposure to Halo and help from the local administrators, as all n00biness can be cured with this type of therapy.
These girls are mythical beings to the denziens of Gruntipedia. They come and go, but mostly go because they don't want to be related to coming to you. (This Chick encourages you to corrupt that)
General Exposure to GirlsEdit
Most girls are found outside of the house, so it is implied by the below quote for those who do not see girls:
- You need to get out more.
- — ShadowyLeftHand on those who have not met that many of her species of mythical creatures
Some places you could find girls:
- Your local library
- Your school (unless you're at a tech school and not in the colleges of architecture or imaging)
- Sometimes at an arcade (But this is, indeed, rare, as usually only nerd girls go there)
- Your work (Doubly so for those who work at...well, a library)
- Outside of your house (But we all know you don't ever go there)
- The Kitchen. (Yes, I just went there)
Girls and CorruptionEdit
Some girls are easily corruptible. They are often
attracted to persuaded over to the dark side by cute things, such as Care Bears, dolls and the color pink. The main female that frequents this site is not such a female, she much prefers blue and purple, which is probably why she frequents here and the lesser site.
Signs of GirlsEdit
Girls are often shown to have the following characteristics:
•Longer hair than yours. (Not to be confused with emo or goth kids, this confusion could be fatal)
•An affinity for makeup. (Especially on their eyes, again this could be emo or goth kids)
•Fluctuating tempers. (Not to be confused with angry German kids, fatalityishness stuff).
•Fanciful trains of thought (Not to be confused with gay kids, this misinterpretation could prove to be...awkward).
•Willingness to wear pink/purple (and occasionally it looking good on them).
Not to be confused with "tough guys;" lol that trend just kinda died with the dinosaurs and Latin...)
•Willingness to wear a skirt, and it often looking good on them. (not to be confused with a kilt, nothing is worse than an angry Scotsman)
•Ability to wear a dress and not be looked at oddly. (Not to be confused with a drag queen, which could be fatal as well)
•Meticulousness, often with grammar and spelling. (Not to be confused with this guy)
•Overall evilness. (Not to be confused with this person).
Rules for Dealing with Girls, By a GirlEdit
- Remember the rule of the Internet that states that there are no women on the Internet. Well, they're half-right. There are girls on the Internet, there are just no women on the Internet. A woman is defined as someone of the female gender who has reached ultimate maturity, and no females on the Internet have reached ultimate maturity.
- Be respectful. We don't want anyone getting hurt. We will hurt you, but we REALLY don't want to. This applies to all of us
except those creepy sadist-types that creep many of us out.
- There will be no need for your pointing out of innuendae (plural of innuendo for those not literarily savvy). We mature faster than you. We are more likely to find them than you are. This especially is true of any of us that have had even a year of Band.
- Some of us are tech-savvy. Occasionally, we are more tech-savvy than you. Don't get mad at us for that. This is doubly true if we go into a major that requires us to be tech savvy, like Computer Science/Engineering.
- We move in packs. It's very rare that you find us alone. Don't try.
- If you like us in a romantic sense, don't be shy, just tell us! We'll either reject you and move on with our lives OR we'll agree to go out with you. And sometimes rejection is only temporary. We know fear, too. There is such a thing as "just friends," just don't get caught in that zone for too long. The "friend zone" is a scary place to be.
- We have a set of rules on dealing with you guys. You do not touch them. We don't touch Man Law, you don't touch Girl Code. Deal?
- If you do end up dating one of us, chivalry is more dead than Latin, but being nice never goes out of style. We can be nice, too, you know.
- We do get bored. Keep things interesting, and we won't get bored.
- We can be cold-hearted, vindictive bitches, but we are the only ones who can say that about ourselves, and it's your job to NOT agree with us. We don't like other people calling us cold-hearted, vindictive bitches. We are willing to admit we are sometimes, but we mean it in jest most of the time.
- We specialize in loaded questions and sarcasm. We know what we want to hear. We don't want to hear things like the statements below or the statement above. We have ways to make you say the things you should be saying. It's what we do. Deal with it.
- There are such things as Nerd Girls. We're strange beings. We're different from anything you've ever known. We're the types of girls you want, but can't have until you get your own.
Things you SHOULD NOT do Around Chicks Edit
- Don't call them: skanks, whores, hos, bitches, sluts, or whores like this swagger just did or you might end up having your thumb chewed off (or worse if you're dealing with this nutjob). (Yes, the Department of Redundancy Department did have a word with the person who did this.)
- Don't make comments like: "must be that time of the month" or anything else that would involve the cycle. Chicks get really pissed when you do that (exceptions are nonexistent).
- Don't yell "RAPE" as loud as you can when you're getting the swag kicked out of you by the girl you just called a whore. This mistake is commonly made by idiots.
- Never EVER tell a girl on Xbox LIVE to make you a sandwich and give you a BJ. This most likely makes you end up as a complete retarded idiot like this guy If you do, we suggest you go outside more, or kill yourself outright.
- Common sense: don't say perverted things or you can and will have the following done to you: having the swag kicked out of you, being pepper sprayed, tazed, or pwn'd. (Exceptions include if the girl is anything like this chick)
- Don't mess with us when we request that you don't. Angry girls are scary. (Exceptions are nonexistent)
Twilight Tritelight Edit
Many girls that are encountered over time have a fangirl obsession with the Twilight books. These girls are
naive little bitches growing up to have an unrealistic expectation of men because of these books. The reasons for this are unknown, but, if you are male and see a female eyeballing these books out of curiosity, steer them far away from them. Burn their copies of the book and any others in their immediate vicinity. Seriously. A Twilight fangirl is scary. Don't let this fandom happen to the girls in your life... if you have them in your life...
Fun Fact: Twilight is the only cancer that transforms people into zombies, except for noob cancer.
Girl Code Edit
The female mind has this unwritten set of rules known as Girl Code. No one knows the full extent of the rules, not even the typical female. Here is the extent of Girl Code that any woman can tell you:
- You cannot write down the entirety of Girl Code.
- What is in the Vault does not leave the Vault. Silence is mandatory towards those outside the Vault.
- Never go to the bathroom alone if you are with another woman and it's a public restroom with multiple stalls.
- Passive-aggressive behavior is okay if there is a lesson to be learned. Even if it's the lesson of "you're a bitch".
For More InformationEdit
For any further information, please consult any girls you have met or your mom, unless you have one of those "two dads" situations. If your situation is the latter, you should probably kill yourself.