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- I go hard in da paint like a frickin' artist, when I see Miranda Keyes' tits my dick gets the hardest.
- — A line from J'Suz's verse on the song "Represent".
Elitematic is the debut Hip Hop album of Da Crusadaz. It was published by a record label known as "Covie Entertainment" and released on August 19, 2578. It includes the hit singles, "Sangheili State of Mind", "Yo Momma (feat. Soulja Boy the Jackal)", "F*** the Universe (feat. The Prophet of Haters)", and "Ghost Martin Music (feat. Master Chief and Rick Ross)". It is currently the fastest selling Hip Hop album in the Galaxy. It mainly is purchased by Elites, Spartans, Noobs, Your Mom, and The Almighty Grunts.
1. Sangheili State of Mind (Intro)
2. High as F**k
3. Crusin' Teh Galaxy
4. Banshees (feat. Hay'lee 'Williamzz)
6. Yo Momma (feat. Soulja Boy the Jackal)
7. F**k the Universe (feat. The Prophet of Haters)
8. In Da Club Errera (feat. 50 Cent)
9. Lulz (feat. Akon)
11. Guess Who's Back (feat. 'Biz 'Markee)
12. Spawn Camp 'Em
13. Halftime (feat. Nas)
14. Outro (feat. Bill Gates)
15. Banshees Pt. II (feat. Hay'lee 'Williamzz and Eminemus) [Bonus Track]
This guy for the Album Cover
Marty O'Donnell for producing Tracks 1, 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 13.
D'okter 'Drayee for producing Tracks 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 12, 14, 15
Akon (Guest Appearance on Track 9)
Hay'lee 'Williamzz (Guest Appearance on Tracks 4, and 15)
Soulja Boy the Jackal (Guest Appearance on Track 6)
Prophet of Haters (Guest Appearance on Track 7)
50 Cent (Guest Appearance on Track 8)
Master Chief (Guest Appearance on Track 10)
Rick Ross (Guest Appearance on Track 10)
'Biz 'Markee (Guest Appearance on Track 11)
Nas (Guest Appearance on Track 13)
Bill Gates (Guest Appearance on The Outro)
Eminemus (Guest Appearance on the Bonus Track)
Chuck Norris (lol idk how he had anything to do with this album)
Your Mom (motivating J'Suz to go hard on every track because she sucked his dick)
The Arbiter (He is Da Crusadaz' manager)
Every Grunt in Existence (because they pwn facez)
- Why does J'Suz keep rapping about my tits in this album?
- — Miranda Keyes
- Ha. Ha, they did a parody title of my first album, oh thats rich...
- — Nas on the album's title, ironically he was a guest appearance on it as well.
- WORT WORT WORT
- — Some random Elite, J'Suz had to translate the Wortish, the Elite said "Elites have no ears and I can still hear the stupidity of it."
- They stole my lyrics :(
- — Soulja Boy the Jackal
- Fuck this album! It said we're nerdy!!
- — Whining Halopedians
- I could rap better than these dumbasses and I have half a jaw...
- — Rtas 'Vadum
- My verse was amazing! I mean, FUCK YOU
- — The Oh-So Egotistical "Prophet of Haters" on his guest appearance on this album.
Here are the opening lyrics from the songs.
Sangheili State of Mind
Yeah, yeah bitch.
In da club, like mah hub,
Gettin' this muthafuckin' itch.
Probably nothing serious, I'm just high
Got me on my knees askin' why.
Girl lemme see your behind,
I'm in a Sangheili State of Mind.
High as F**K
Wheeeeww! High as fuck, baby!
A little insane, maybe?
I like little bits
Of things like Miranda's tits.
These lyrics make no sense,
When you're living in tents.
Then again, I'm probably just high as fuck.
Or I'm out of luck.
Crusin' Teh Galaxy
Crusin' the galaxy like a motherfuckin' badass,
Now I wanna see Miranda's ass.
Shit, I have a boner,
and its sure as hell killing my stoner.
Guess I gotta keep on
crusin' teh galaxy.
One of these days,
Ima be like Willie Mays.
And I'm gonna leave you to decide
what the fuck that means.
Banshees (feat. Hay'lee 'Williamzz)
Yeah, yeah, when you need a ride,
and there ain't no law to abide,
get yo'self a banshee.
They call it a Type-26 ground support aircraft
but I just call it the Type-26 pimped out ride.
Speed along, shoot the shit out of 'em Noobs
till all that's left are some nice boobs.
Of course that scenario is unlikely, but who gives a shit?
Keep smokin' shit and waiting to see Miranda's tit.
Yo, yo, I represent
all them Sangheili from da hood.
They treated like shit,
and ain't never seen a tit.
Speaking of tits...
I go hard in da paint like a motherfucking artist,
cuz when I see Miranda's titties is when my dick gets the hardest.
Yeah, I represent the Sangheili who don't,
who want to see the tits but won't.
Those who want to smoke weed,
but the king of weed has too much greed.
Yeah, yeah, I represent.
Yo mamma (feat. Soulja Boy the Jackal)
Hey bitchez guess who's back?
Betcha didn't think I'd say that?
But it's true that yo mamma's fat,
fat like the demon's rat.
What, the demon don't have a rat?
Well no matter, I just needed something that rhymes with "fat".
Yo mamma, yo mamma.
Yeah, yeah, yo mamma.
She got tits like Miranda Keyes'
so watch her as much as you please.
Yo mamma. Yo mamma.
F**K The Universe (feat. Prophet of Haters)
Fuck you. Fuck him. Fuck her.
Fuck this and fuck that you shitty cur.
Fuck everything. Fuuuuuuucccckk! Fuck.
So I just keep singin' dis song, like a muthafuckin' duck.
Fuck every shit in the fuckin' universe.
Fuck the universe.
In Da Club Errera
Where ya gonna go?
Where the asses sink real low?
Da Club Errera,
Like a fucking Yogi Berra.
Hang in da strip club
called club errera.
Talk to DJ Jingbrute,
who thinks you're cute.
Course he probably just a pedo.
Da Crusadaz have been sued many times for this album. One of the most known incidents is when a kid went out and shot somebody with a 9MM Pistol, then mercilessly t-bagged them, his mom found out and he said, "It's what J'Suz Kusov told me to do!". So then the mom got all pissed and sued them, but she didn't get her money because the jury thought she was fucking retarded for buying an album that has a "Parental Advisory" sticker for her 5 year old son. Another known incident is when a mom caught her teenage son jacking off to the nude picture of I'am 'Seckzee in the CD's booklet. They lost $500,000 because the jury was filled with Nooby Idiots. J'Suz is now really pissed at all this and the next time somebody sues him, he will "turn his swagg on" you, and when he "turns his swagg on", it's a Kamehameha attack that blows up everything because his Swagg is so powerful. So yeah, don't sue them.
- It's a rap album.
- It was made by elites