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He was a regular Dickbeard until one Christmas-Eve Santa came to his house by climbing down his shit infested Chimney, landing into the pool of fire where he would land, he quickly got out, loudly screaming, but being a retarded comedy story, no one woke up, but Scrooginess was Nocturnal so he went outside and saw Santa's sleigh, he raped Rudolf with a candy cane and slapped Cupid in the face with his own ballsack and flew around the world, stealing all the shit Santa gave and then came back to his house, squishing Santa (A funeral was held, but no one came except Super Mario, his head exploded during the event and Nintendo became bankrupt.
So after the massive theft, he was a wanted criminal by the UNSC, leading him to some unfortunate bullshit.
The UNSC sent Master Chief to kill him but he didn't care so he and Dickbead partied, drew in coloring books and had fun on Redtube. But then eventually they came across a video of *** ******** ******** into each other's mouths, and Master Cheif slapped him in the ball-chin. Then The Prophet Of Scrooginess said "I will get revenge on Master Cheif for slapping me in the ball-chin." in such a boring voice that Master Cheif's penis fell off and that's why he has never tried to fuck Cortainta.
UNSC's second assassination attemptEdit
Zombie Obama Bin Laden hacked into his computer and installed Osama Win Laden 7 and then moved in to dominate Nazi Germany, Scrooginess then fleed into Mother Russia, hijacking Rocket Ship and went on a journey through the stars to find a place to reside. Then the UNSC tried to send Scrooge McDuck after him but then Scrooginess cockslapped him so hard Scrooginess's left nut went back in time and crashed down onto Earth, killing all the non-nooby dinosaurs.