Your most reliable and humorous news source for all Halo news!
Hello and welcome to the Gruntipedia News article that is dedicated to inform you of all the stuff that is happening in Gruntipedia. Here you will find news from Gruntipedia affairs to just some
random serious Halo-related humor news.
Official Gruntipedia News Edit
|the talk page.May 29: * - Unfortunately, this little machine is out of order because of lack of interest, and mostly because I ran out of ideas and I just can't leave this the same everyday. So... if you want this machine to live, submit your suggestions in|
The following articles are Gruntipedia news and some set up the policies of Gruntipedia, too. The date beside them is the date they were made.
- Gruntipedia:What's what - June 9, 2011
- Gruntipedia:GCI - March 19, 2011
- Gruntipedia:New Stuff - May 18, 2009
- Gruntipedia:Little Update - March 15, 2009
- Gruntipedia:What Gruntipedia is not - November 28, 2008
- Gruntipedia:Users and Minor Edits - September 7, 2008
- Gruntipedia:How to Edit - August 25, 2008
- Gruntipedia:The Great Purge - June 23, 2008
- Gruntipedia:About - What Gruntipedia is about.
In other news
- There is a user who exceeded 100 edits on this month and last month (December 2009 & January 2010): Pope Yapyap III.
- There was a user who exceeded 100 edits in August 2009: Awesum Scrote.
- There was a user who exceeded 100 edits in February & March 2009: Pope Yapyap III.
- There is only one user who exceeded 100 edits before that in January, 2008: Simon rjh.
- Polls are now up, April 7, 2013
Halo Humor News Edit
- October 5, 2007: A Phantom crashed into Microsoft headquarters, splitting the company into two (Microsoft and Bungie).
- March 1, 2008: A Brute, who has been running for president in Russia, quits the race after being accused of sexually abusing 3 Grunts.
- April 27, 2008: Master Chief gets drunk and fights the Arbiter. Police arrested both before anyone won.
- June 16, 2008: Halo is struck with drought throughout its land. The term "Dust Halo" is coined. Drought ends a month later.
- August 10, 2008: A UNSC airman piloting a Pelican has crashed in a empty plain in Earth and died. He was later identified as the son of Foehammer.
- January 1, 2009: A human attempts to sue a Elite store owner, for the human has been injured in the store. The case ends in a out-of-court settlement as the Elite eats the human's head.
- February 27, 2009: A Halo 3 player that went to the UK to get Halo Wars early is shocked by the lack of first person shooting in the game. He later kills himself with a stapler that resembles a Spiker.
- December 31, 2009: Thousands of Jackals kill themselves, thinking that it was the end of the galaxy, according to the extreme version of the Great Journey, the Great
- January 7, 2010: Jackals suffer another screw up when a Republican poisons Jackal king Fuss'alot. Republican is executed by listening to a choir of Jackals sing until his head asploded by the sight of Cortana getting it on with a Brute.
- January 26, 2010: Riots break out on High Charity by Grunts who learned the jerk Prophets suspended Grunt Food Nipple supply for suckage. Hundreds are mutilated.
- February 2, 2010: A new virus that has killed many Grunts last week is named "Grunt Flu". Symptoms of Grunt Flu include: lack of necessary methane, fatigue, outbursts of childish laughter when shot in the head, and, of course, death. Top Grunt doctors think Grunt Flu originated from a infected Brute, who did it with a Grunt, who spread it through methane tanks.
- February 18, 2010: A human gets pulled over in Balaho by a fellow police-grunt for going after the red light came on. The human asks if he needs to "go back and try again". Riots engulf Balaho few seconds later.
- February 19, 2010: SEX SCANDAL of the Covenant! Prophet of Truth is caught cheating on his 4 wives and 3 husbands. Suspected divorces.
- May 3, 2010: The entire Covenant cheers on as they get first taste of the Halo: Reach multiplayer Beta. Grunts say its the best shit of all time.
- June 9, 2010: User:ADMYAMAMOTO celebrates his rise to the rank of supreme Führer of Gruntipedia. Millions bowed before him.
- September 14, 2010: Halo: Reach gets released. The instant fail causes Bungie to give up on Halo.
- September 29, 2010: A sequel to Ghosts of Onyx is announced. Nerdgasms engulf the Earth.
- October 27, 2010: Halopedia users begin to bitch about moving the site to a new domain. The insurrection is put down by the Admins and their army of Bungie Ninjas.
- March 2, 2011: Gruntipedia launches its attack against Reach. A thousand Grunt warships lead by ADMYAMAMOTO's personal Cruiser, the Lesbian Lover, invade Reach with a Grunt army, led by Yapyap, that is heading towards Halopedia headquarters. Halopedia casualties number in the millions. LOL!
- March 19, 2011: Oggespartan117 implements the GCI, thus getting unlimited power. The Lesbian Lover glasses him into submission moments later.
- April 1, 2011: War on Reach Progress, Halopedia: 100,000,000 dead from rocket happy Grunts. Fleet destroyed. HQ destroyed by the Lesbian Lover. The artifact that reveals all hacks is stolen from Halopedia. Gruntipedia: 10 deaths (though these were only suicides that occured after a match has ended, and these do not affect the score), 500 Team Slayer matches won and an unbelievable SWAT match, unknown number of Unfrigginbelievable medals, lost track at 100,000. All toilets are smashed by Gravity Spammers. (Yeah its April 1 but this isn't some cheap April fools).
- June 7, 2011: Halo 4 is revealed to be under construction. Oggespartan 117 nearly throws up in excitement.
- June 10, 2011: Oskarmandude finds out that Halo: Graphics Evolved is
in productiongetting graphics pimped, Oskar then wacks himself in the head with a waffle until he is knocked out
- Before July 7, 2011: Bungie writes their will and acts too kind (They probably don't even care about their fans :C)
- September, 17 2011: Oskar pimps up Halo 1 so the Fuel Rod Gun is usable in Campaign.
- October 29, 2011: The infamous resturant "Grunt Burger" has been taken down after the Goverment was notified of it's foods containing real Grunt testicles. The founder, Ultra Force has been sentenced to the Heretic Pit.
- November 15, 2011: Halo: Graphics Evolved is released. So far, only 6 people have bought it: Halopedia, Noobs, one random Brute, 2 sex offenders, and a Grunt (This Grunt later smacked the DVD and case at the counter with a high level of anger when returning the game).
- December 14, 2011: The San' Shyuum language called "4Chan" has recentely been translated into English, two words for example: (English: Covenant, 4Chan: Govermnent) (English: I need to take a shit, 4Chan: I need to drop a C4).
- December, 24 2011: Oskar plays Call of Duty.
- April 7, 2012: Recent Halo 4 leaks have gone around, wait, those are Call of Duty leaks, no, those are Halo 4 leaks, Halo 4 is going to be a CoD rip off according to the recent leaks!
- April 11, 2012: Frank O'Connor uploads a podcast and explains why Halo 4 is going to be the next Call of Duty, he simply says "Because fuck you".
Staff of Gruntipedia News Edit
Not everyone can edit the Gruntipedia News. People who aren't part of the Gruntipedia News Staff will only be able to make simple spell and grammar checks. Though, you can easily join the staff by going requesting membership here. If you are not part of the staff then your edits will be most likely reverted, unless it's just a spell or grammar check. Here is the list of the Gruntipedia News Staff: