- Beware! The might of the Grunt force will consume this pathetic excuse for a galaxy!
- — Flipyap preaching about gruntiness
- *Quaking growl*
- — Hunter, on how his bond brother was massacred by gruntiness
- I have never seen such a display of uber awesomeness.
- — Prophet of Truth on gruntiness
Gruntiness is the ultimate power of the universe that only the most powerful beings possess this devastating force. It is so powerful that even the Prophets and Soviet Russia fear its epic pwnage. It is even rumored that when a huge concentration of Gruntiness is used, it could begin the Rapture. This would explain why New Mombasa exploded when Flipyap died there. Grunts even use Gruntiness to control the entire Covenant behind the guise of cannon scrubbers.
Gruntiness gives the few special Grunts the abilities of God. Yeah it's that epic. Ironically, the least awesome power is the ability to fly while wearing a badass cape. Grunts can even grow to enormous sizes so they can reach the sun to eat it. Fire breath is an ultimate ability of Gruntiness that Grunts can use to BBQ idiots and other morons to be eaten in a Thanksgiving feast. They can also use that just to kill any Jackal that pisses them off. Do you know why no more Jackals appeared after the Halo 1 level Two Betrayals? It's because the Grunts got so pissed off at them that they massacred the turkeys to end their evil ways. Even without gruntiness, however, all Grunts are invincible. You think you've killed one? No. It was immediately reincarnated. That is why the Covenant uses Grunts so much!
Grunts commonly abuse Gruntiness in order to be more noticeable in the world. Gruntiness is used as a mod so Grunts can be way too good a shot on Xbox LIVE. They can use it to get free drugs by making the dealer think he is being held at gun-point, which he probably is. Gruntiness is also a form of heroin. Outta sight, bro! Gruntiness has also become a form of leet abuse in a language called Gr2n71n3ss. This language is common in Gruntipedia and the Middle East.
How Do You Get It?
You can't get Gruntiness like you can get the mumps. The chances are that you only get the gruntiness powers of being flexible and blabbering random stuff because no one likes them. They will usually die in a few days since gruntiness also hates Brutes and will crap in their lungs. But it's worth it to just feel like a Russian gymnist for a while before dying. It is also worth noting that people who say they have gruntiness while online are instantly doomed to fail.