- Are we there yet? I want Food Nipple.
- — Grunt on the Great Journey
The Great Journey was a large, pointless journey to McDonald's which failed hardly . It was created by the Prophets to control all of these freaky aliens, and Grunts, and keep them pacified while they huffed kittens, and died from Herpes.
How does it work?EditThe Great Journey involved simply activating a bunch of Hula-Hoopswhile trying to avoid a floating lightbulb that spouts annoying crap at anyone he can find. The activation is supposed to send the ballchinians on a mystical journey and elevate them to the status of God(which they can't, because Johnson would kick their asses).
In reality, it killed everyone, stopping the AIDS that is usually released when anyone goes too close to the ring.
It all started after one epic battle on which burger to buy on McDonald's, half of the prophet race blew up there home planet(maybe because of bad burgers there) and went to Burger King on an astroid(which would one day be the High Charity). While there, The King told them of a new way to get high(sniffing ketchup can do wonders). One high prophet came up with the Great Journy idea while he was taking a dump. All the high prophets then agreed on this religion after partying all night in a Vegas bar. After many years the highest of all prophets preached to all the races in the Covenant about this messed up religion. All the races were high and believed it, especially the grunts, since they're naturally high.
In reality, the three High Prophets knew that the Great Journey is useless, but without it, they couldn't have the Elites killing the humans for fun, or have Grunts do their laundry. They also know that this false religion wouldn't last forever, so they were happy when they found out that the rings would conveniently destroy all life in the universe, thus allowing them to escape their slaves' wrath when they found out.
Too bad it went oh-so wrong when the Elites found out before they were supposed to, and the Prophets wound up paying up the ass for it.
Where did it go wrong?Edit
It all started when they contacted the Elites, who were mentally retarded, the testicle chins gave them super intelligence in return for protection while they tried to find a letter "T" to start the great journey from the hula-hoops. For a thousand years there was peace, but then all the furballs got uppity, and pissed off the Elites, who decided they had enough, and went with the humans and the anti christ to destroy every one. The chimpanzees, testicle chins, and furballs all died when the ark exploded, along with the aids. this put a stop to the great journey, but everyone knows itll happen again.
The Great Journey has also been referred as the time spent trying to find the single toilet in High Charity after getting hammered with the testicle chins. So the point is we all hate the testicle chins for making the grunts die picking him up a cheese burger from a mcdonalds hula-hoop.
The "Great Journey" is not actually a passage to paradise, but the road trip from Maine to San Francisco. with people who crap their pants every two hours and sing bad songs. Only a high prophet could enjoy it, maybe cuz they have no taste in whats fun and names. Like who names things the Great Journey? Must of been a heck of a drunk night for that to happen!
What will happen when it is activated...?Edit
The forerunners will jump out of the ring and shout 'surprise'! They will then proceed to have wild sex until
the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, the seas run dry and the mountains blow away... everyone dies or gets AIDS. The forerunners will then return to the portal and will wait until they are needed again to reck havoc on the universe... or the event described in the picture above.